Bariatric Ambulances

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

Some of the UK's ambulance fleet has had some very costly upgrades recently. This has been done to cope with a growing number of obese patients. Fire brigades are being trained in extracting these gargantuan fat bastard patients, either for hospital or in a fire.

Does the human race need these fatties to survive or should they just be told, "stop fucking eating and move around more you fat cunt!" and left to fend for themselves?

Fucking liability that's what they are.

[Eric Cuntman]

13 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said:

Some of the UK's ambulance fleet has had some very costly upgrades recently. This has been done to cope with a growing number of obese patients. Fire brigades are being trained in extracting these gagantuan fat bastard patients, either for hospital or in a fire.

Does the human race need these fatties to survive or should they just be told, "stop fucking eating and move around more you fat cunt!" and left to fend for themselves?

Fucking liabilty that's what they are.

Totally agree. Vile disgusting, greedy fucking pigs, most of them squawking that "it's me glands, it's not my fault!", true, it is to do with a gland, the one in their head that can't stop thinking about chips, cake, chocolate and 3 litre bottles of coke. Give 'em dust, low in fat, DUST!

[PANZER MURPHY]

Excellent nom Alfred...I hear all the excuses ..too busy..bizniz lunches. .bottle of wine a night...still..I'm doing alright out of it...ya could say I'm living off the fat of the land 

Panzerknacker 

[Guest nobgobbler]

Too many idle people around. I've noticed most fat bastards don't work so they've got all the time in the world to scoff themselves to death.

[Witheredscrote]

27 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

. Give 'em dust, low in fat, DUST!

Yeh dust, deep fried in batter. Baked beans are fucking good for fatties too, the government should ask Tesco to sponsor advertising to educate them in the eating of said beans. Ape could spearhead the campaign, he is an expert on beans.

[Guest Snatch]

The cunts that feed them should be made to pay for all these upgrades and any treatment they receive. If they didn't go shopping for these fat people then they wouldn't be able to eat their weight in food.

[Eric Cuntman]

8 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Yeh dust, deep fried in batter. Baked beans are fucking good for fatties too, the government should ask Tesco to sponsor advertising to educate them in the eating of said beans. Ape could spearhead the campaign, he is an expert on beans.

Never mind your pesky feudin', tell me what typically English crap food that you yearn for, Keith Floyd, who also lived in France missed Spam and Picalilli, what do you miss that you can't get in France?

[PANZER MURPHY]

Volume of food doesn't make you fat wuggers baby. .it's calorific content. .bottle of wine has the same caloric content of a sliced loaf of bread. .350 gm bag of mixed nuts n fruit is the same as a large fried brekky. .your ignorance is frightening though 

Panzerknacker 

[Eric Cuntman]

10 minutes ago, nobgobbler said:

Too many idle people around. I've noticed most fat bastards don't work so they've got all the time in the world to scoff themselves to death.

A pint of low calorie, triple thick Domestos would lead to fast irreversible weight loss.

[PANZER MURPHY]

2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

A pint of low calorie, triple thick Domestos would lead to fast irreversible weight loss.

More effective remedy is 85% diet with 15% regular moderate exercise 

Panzerknacker 

[Eric Cuntman]

5 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said:

More effective remedy is 85% diet with 15% regular moderate exercise 

Panzerknacker 

No! I must strongly disagree, your method undoubtedly is effective, but my bleach idea is guaranteed to prevent any recurrence of chubbiness.

[PANZER MURPHY]

7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

No! I must strongly disagree, your method undoubtedly is effective, but my bleach idea is guaranteed to prevent any recurrence of chubbiness.

Possible Increase in disposal costs. .chop Fingers off or superglue boxing gloves on hands ..prevent opening of plastic wrappers 

Panzerknacker 

[Cuntybaws]

25 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said:

superglue boxing gloves on hands ..prevent opening of plastic wrappers 

Superglue their fucking cakeholes shut - and their nostrils. Fat fucking cunts, I hate them with every fibre of my being.

[Guest Manky]

Calories, protein, carbohydrates, all made up things to allow smug cunts to sound like smug cunts. Fat cunts eat too much. Newtons law states if you drop a pound of salad and a pound of spicy meatballs off a multi storey car park in a sandy place, they will both hit the ground before the screaming punkape tribute faggot.

[Eric Cuntman]

38 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Superglue their fucking cakeholes shut - and their nostrils. Fat fucking cunts, I hate them with every fibre of my being.

Ironic you should use the word 'fibre', a substance alien to the porkers of whom we speak, save for the tiny amount found in the sesame seeds that adorn their cheeseburger buns.

[Eddie]

1 hour ago, nobgobbler said:

Too many idle people around. I've noticed most fat bastards don't work so they've got all the time in the world to scoff themselves to death.

Council estates are full of these fatties, all have missing teeth and chain smoke. They wear the standard unemployed uniform of black leggings stretched across the rear, so you can see their gigantic, off white knickers paired with a tracksuit top. Most are pushing prams with coffee coloured, unwashed and unwanted kids who's diets consist of monster munch and fizzy drinks. The next generation of blobs in the making. 

[Guest nobgobbler]

15 minutes ago, Eddie said:

Council estates are full of these fatties, all have missing teeth and chain smoke. They wear the standard unemployed uniform of black leggings stretched across the rear, so you can see their gigantic, off white knickers paired with a tracksuit top. Most are pushing prams with coffee coloured, unwashed and unwanted kids who's diets consist of monster munch and fizzy drinks. The next generation of blobs in the making. 

You mean like the Slobs!

 

[Eric Cuntman]

8 minutes ago, Eddie said:

Council estates are full of these fatties, all have missing teeth and chain smoke. They wear the standard unemployed uniform of black leggings stretched across the rear, so you can see their gigantic, off white knickers paired with a tracksuit top. Most are pushing prams with coffee coloured, unwashed and unwanted kids who's diets consist of monster munch and fizzy drinks. The next generation of blobs in the making. 

Don't forget the column of names tattooed up the legs of these fuckpigs, listing the 11 names of their brown kids on one side and the corresponding 8 or 9 names of their fathers on the other. The forearms usually bear a tribute to the toothless bitch that the brown kids call 'Nan' and the four or five possibilities for the Grandfather.

[Eric Cuntman]

4 minutes ago, nobgobbler said:

You mean like the Slobs!

 

The best sketches ever! Out of likes but I shall remember to give you one later.....and a like.

[Witheredscrote]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Never mind your pesky feudin', tell me what typically English crap food that you yearn for, Keith Floyd, who also lived in France missed Spam and Picalilli, what do you miss that you can't get in France?

I miss no English crap food, if I want some, which is rare, I can go to an outlet in Poitiers that specialises in the shit. The place is full of overweight British ex-pats, waddling about and saying 'oh look, they have got Richmonds sausages this week'.  The local French regularly go and look, 'it's a bit like an afternoon at the zoo' said one to me.

[Eric Cuntman]

2 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

I miss no English crap food, if I want some, which is rare, I can go to an outlet in Poitiers that specialises in the shit. The place is full of overweight British ex-pats, waddling about and saying 'oh look, they have got Richmonds sausages this week'.  The local French regularly go and look, 'it's a bit like an afternoon at the zoo' said one to me.

Punky likes a battered sausage.

[camberwell gypsy]

3 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said:

Some of the UK's ambulance fleet has had some very costly upgrades recently. This has been done to cope with a growing number of obese patients. Fire brigades are being trained in extracting these gargantuan fat bastard patients, either for hospital or in a fire.

Does the human race need these fatties to survive or should they just be told, "stop fucking eating and move around more you fat cunt!" and left to fend for themselves?

Fucking liability that's what they are.

People in the medical profession aren't meant to tell overweighted people they are fat. Indeed the use of the 'F' word is discouraged in case it causes upset to the rotund cu.... sorry, person. 

[PANZER MURPHY]

I believe the term is ...have you increased in mass?

Panzerknacker 

[Guest Spanky]

Instead of trying to bring back fox hunting, I think Theresa May should legalise the hunting of obese people with horse and hounds. Admittedly, the hunts wouldn't last long and admittedly, the fatties would rarely get away. A bariatric ambulance could be kept on standby in case they do. At least then they would have earned the use of it and the extra cost to the suspension. I bet the fat cat bureaucrats from Brussels wouldn't allow it though. Just another example of Johnny European trying to take away our cultural heritage. That's why she should legalise the hunting of fat cat bureaucrats too, with horse and hounds and bariatric ambulances.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Don't forget the column of names tattooed up the legs of these fuckpigs, listing the 11 names of their brown kids on one side and the corresponding 8 or 9 names of their fathers on the other. The forearms usually bear a tribute to the toothless bitch that the brown kids call 'Nan' and the four or five possibilities for the Grandfather.

Day off today so I watched Kyle Show (fuck off ok?). There was a large 40 year old woman who was pregnant with her 11th sprog (or was it her 12th?) Kyle asked her how many father's? "Four" was the proud reply. She was on there because the fucking current idiot was doing a lie detector for cheating. "If he's lying I'll leave 'im". No doubt to find another idiot to pump out another benefits bounty.