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Defensive Parking

Ape™️

By Ape™️
in The Corner

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Ape™️

Ape™️

Posted
Posted

So, you've got a new car, or an expensive car, or a super car. Very well done - you must be very pleased with yourself. However, it's still a car, and will, therefore, fit perfectly into something called a parking space. Having a new/expensive/super car doesn't give you special permission to ignore the little white lines that most people actively try and park within, and abandon your pride and joy in the middle of two spaces. I think anyone who owns a "normal" car should actively park as close as possible to these cunts, in the hope that they might realise they are selfish, ignorant fucking wankers.

Before I finish there's a couple of people I'd like to preemptively tell to fuck off:

@Punkape  - guaranteed to come back with some faux-affluent bollocks

@Witheredscrote - guaranteed to come back with some pathetic flying model based drivel

And finally there's a couple of people I'd like to just generally tell to fuck off:

@'eavensabove

@'eavensabove

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Guest Wizardsleeve

Guest Wizardsleeve

Posted
Posted

When possible, carry a few containers each of brake fluid and power steering fluid.  A mechanic once told me that power steering fluid is worse than walking on ice.  At least with ice, you can get sole fittings with cleets/spikes for traction.  The fluid is guaranteed to put the thick arrogant cunt on his or her arse!  He continued by saying that brake fluid is so corrosive to auto paint, it will soak through the protective clear top coat through the base colour and primer, and strip the metal to bare!  Just a couple of squeezable condiment bottles will suffice to bring you to a proper cunting ecstasy!

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Earl of Punkape

Earl of Punkape

Posted
Posted
52 minutes ago, Ape said:

So, you've got a new car, or an expensive car, or a super car. Very well done - you must be very pleased with yourself. However, it's still a car, and will, therefore, fit perfectly into something called a parking space. Having a new/expensive/super car doesn't give you special permission to ignore the little white lines that most people actively try and park within, and abandon your pride and joy in the middle of two spaces. I think anyone who owns a "normal" car should actively park as close as possible to these cunts, in the hope that they might realise they are selfish, ignorant fucking wankers.

Before I finish there's a couple of people I'd like to preemptively tell to fuck off:

@Punkape  - guaranteed to come back with some faux-affluent bollocks

@Witheredscrote - guaranteed to come back with some pathetic flying model based drivel

And finally there's a couple of people I'd like to just generally tell to fuck off:

@'eavensabove

@'eavensabove

Do stop being so lower-middle class.

Sorry......a peasant with very modest aspirations.....

lol.

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Guest Lady Penelope

Guest Lady Penelope

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Witheredscrote said:

I have chosen to ignore the oaf Punkers. Ape is just plain rude, and hardly a model member....... lol

Take Punker's the right way and he is ok.

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Eric Cuntman

Eric Cuntman

Posted
Posted
49 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

I just nick the disability or parent and child spaces at my Tesco. No one really gives a fuck and if people decide to kick off cripples and children are soft targets for a glassing.

You like to park, in handicapped spaces, while handicapped people, make handicapped faces.

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ratcum

ratcum

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Ape said:

So, you've got a new car, or an expensive car, or a super car. Very well done - you must be very pleased with yourself. However, it's still a car, and will, therefore, fit perfectly into something called a parking space. Having a new/expensive/super car doesn't give you special permission to ignore the little white lines that most people actively try and park within, and abandon your pride and joy in the middle of two spaces. I think anyone who owns a "normal" car should actively park as close as possible to these cunts, in the hope that they might realise they are selfish, ignorant fucking wankers.

Before I finish there's a couple of people I'd like to preemptively tell to fuck off:

@Punkape  - guaranteed to come back with some faux-affluent bollocks

@Witheredscrote - guaranteed to come back with some pathetic flying model based drivel

And finally there's a couple of people I'd like to just generally tell to fuck off:

@'eavensabove

@'eavensabove

have you got a poopy little car Ape? Smell my mum

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