Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 Whenever I have the need to take a shit in some other cunts gaff, I at least show some respect by leaving their bog in the same state that I found it whilst also conserving their quilted velvet as best that I am able. I do this by dumping-off in their sink, poking the solids darn the plug-hole with their kids toothbrush and scrubbing me crack with her Loofah. After all, that's what friendship is all abart, but since noticing that some folks abuse MY homestead by using more than the adequate allowance of Izal, I have been left with no alternative but to issue all visitors with a spade, and devoting a small patch of rockery for my guests sole use. I would urge you to do the same. Don't let folks shit in Your shitter. You never know where their arse has been or what they'll get up to upon your Armitage Shank... Anon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 54 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Whenever I have the need to take a shit in some other cunts gaff, I at least show some respect by leaving their bog in the same state that I found it whilst also conserving their quilted velvet as best that I am able. I do this by dumping-off in their sink, poking the solids darn the plug-hole with their kids toothbrush and scrubbing me crack with her Loofah. After all, that's what friendship is all abart, but since noticing that some folks abuse MY homestead by using more than the adequate allowance of Izal, I have been left with no alternative but to issue all visitors with a spade, and devoting a small patch of rockery for my guests sole use. I would urge you to do the same. Don't let folks shit in Your shitter. You never know where their arse has been or what they'll get up to upon your Armitage Shank... Anon. Remember what I told you about remaining silent when you have nothing of interest to say? This nom is a perfect example of what I was telling you. Utter fucking drivel. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 'eavens, this is by some distance your best nom yet – though still an utterly pointless one that will undoubtedly remain the most wankish, irrelevant pile of horse shit until you post another. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said: Armitage Shank... Anon. Don't forget Twyfords and Royal Doulton Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Wolfie said: 'eavens, this is by some distance your best nom yet – though still an utterly pointless one that will undoubtedly remain the most wankish, irrelevant pile of horse shit until you post another. The most wankish, eh? You're odd. However, you cannot have read any of Apes contributions. Edited July 8, 2017 by 'eavensabove Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 Just now, The Lady Penelope said: Don't forget Twyfords and Royal Doulton Fortnum & Masons Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said: Whenever I have the need to take a shit in some other cunts gaff, I at least show some respect by leaving their bog in the same state that I found it whilst also conserving their quilted velvet as best that I am able. I do this by dumping-off in their sink, poking the solids darn the plug-hole with their kids toothbrush and scrubbing me crack with her Loofah. After all, that's what friendship is all abart, but since noticing that some folks abuse MY homestead by using more than the adequate allowance of Izal, I have been left with no alternative but to issue all visitors with a spade, and devoting a small patch of rockery for my guests sole use. I would urge you to do the same. Don't let folks shit in Your shitter. You never know where their arse has been or what they'll get up to upon your Armitage Shank... Anon. If ever I'm round your gaff and feel the need to do an evacuation, I'll shit in your cistern (top decking I believe it's called). You won't even know I've been. Until you flush of course. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: If ever I'm round your gaff and feel the need to do an evacuation, I'll shit in your cistern (top decking I believe it's called). You won't even know I've been. Until you flush of course. Oh, so it was YOU was it! I might have guessed as my P bend was also blocked with Stella ring-pulls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 4 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: If ever I'm round your gaff and feel the need to do an evacuation, I'll shit in your cistern (top decking I believe it's called). You won't even know I've been. Until you flush of course. Flush? I'm on chemicals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mingeeta Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 Just now, 'eavensabove said: Flush? I'm on chemicals. You're on more than chemicals with a nom like this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 Just now, Mingeeta said: You're on more than chemicals with a nom like this one. Don't you have any visitors? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mingeeta Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 Just now, 'eavensabove said: Don't you have any visitors? Yes but they don't use the bog as the wife has normally stunk it out before they get here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 Just now, Mingeeta said: Yes but they don't use the bog as the wife has normally stunk it out before they get here. That's a good ploy, but MY wife is not decomposing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mingeeta Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 Just now, 'eavensabove said: That's a good ploy, but MY wife is not decomposing. Either is mine, she just smells like she is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 Just now, Mingeeta said: Either is mine, she just smells like she is. Blimey. Mine never kicks-up, not even after a hard days work on the streets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 9 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: If ever I'm round your gaff and feel the need to do an evacuation, I'll shit in your cistern (top decking I believe it's called). You won't even know I've been. Until you flush of course. I doubt he's had a woman around his gaff for decades, other than passing off the cross-dressing tranny he married and adopted children with. Still, for the benefit of the rest of us, they're not his own kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 Just now, Wolfie said: I doubt he's had a woman around his gaff for decades, other than passing off the cross-dressing tranny he married and adopted children with. Still, for the benefit of the rest of us, they're not his own kids. And you reckon that I'm idiotic & ridiculous... As eloquent as you think that your wit may be, you are far from the mark in reality. Sorry if that bothers you Mr Barren Bachelor Bwoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 27 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Oh, so it was YOU was it! I might have guessed as my P bend was also blocked with Stella ring-pulls. Yeah I told Stella off about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 23 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: That's a good ploy, but MY wife is not decomposing. Did you use lime like I told you to?* *As seen in Esmie's Gypsy Lifestyle, chapter 3; Dead body disposal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said: Did you use lime like I told you to?* *As seen in Esmie's Gypsy Lifestyle, chapter 3; Dead body disposal. Chance would be a fine thing... You hoisted my lime along with my Vodka. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 Nothing whatever to do with this but back in 1999 my friend Massie Hardin's German toyboy Gunther was raided by the revenue and customs as he drove her motorhome back from Dover. On board were several hundred packets of ciggies, dozens f bottles of Brandy and a collection of sex toys along with Gunther's Lithuanian boyfriend. Her motorhome was seized and the realisation that Gunther was a poof were devastating for her .. after that she became a devout Christian and took sanctuary with the Lord. Gunther and Mikie (his boyfriend) each got six months in prison and were deported. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 8 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said: Nothing whatever to do with this but back in 1999 my friend Massie Hardin's German toyboy Gunther was raided by the revenue and customs as he drove her motorhome back from Dover. On board were several hundred packets of ciggies, dozens f bottles of Brandy and a collection of sex toys along with Gunther's Lithuanian boyfriend. Her motorhome was seized and the realisation that Gunther was a poof were devastating for her .. after that she became a devout Christian and took sanctuary with the Lord. Gunther and Mikie (his boyfriend) each got six months in prison and were deported. So, each got six months in the slammer for being gay. Quite right too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 evans, you poor excuse for a human - I won't quote your gargantuan pile of shit first post due to it being a gargantuan pile of shit, but seriously, next time you think of creating a nom like this; take a deep breath, count to 10 (that'll take all fingers and thumbs of both your clammy little hands), realise the error of your ways, and promptly kill yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 2 hours ago, Mingeeta said: You're on more than chemicals with a nom like this one. NaClO, I hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 1 hour ago, Bubba C said: evans, you poor excuse for a human - I won't quote your gargantuan pile of shit first post due to it being a gargantuan pile of shit, but seriously, next time you think of creating a nom like this; take a deep breath, count to 10 (that'll take all fingers and thumbs of both your clammy little hands), realise the error of your ways, and promptly kill yourself. Nope, it's still not doing it for me Bibble. Please up your game, everybody is laughing at you. Embarrassing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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