Wolfie Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 If you smoke, and you wish to give yourself heart disease or even lung cancer, they're your vital organs and it is your choice. The place in which I work is full of smokers who stand in the narrow lane near the entrance, which means those coming into work, as well as many passers-by, are faced with breathing in their second-hand smoke. One such person is a fat, feminazi vegetarian sow who doesn't seem to understand it pains me to acknowledge her ugly face – and the only reason I do so is to forewarn her that I'm walking past, and at this time she ought to move her stinking fag away from me so that I don't have to fuckingwell breathe in its fumes. Almost every day she's there, her chubby fucking lips sucking on a cancer-inducing stick she deems OK for the rest of us to breathe in. Well, it's not OK. When she was asked by another non-smoking colleague, reasonably enough, whether she'd mind not smoking right in the doorway, she replied, somewhat haughtily and sarcastically 'I'm ever so sorry darling' – and waddled off like an angry teenager into the kitchen to go and snort a Pot Noodle or similar. Unfortunately, this type of scenario is typical up and down the country. For all sorts of complex reasons, non-smokers react to this in different ways – pub entrances probably being the only exception. If I had my way, however, I'd introduce new and stricter smoking protection laws to eradicate arseholes standing in public walkways or doorways, or in places where people can't avoid breathing in their shite. Failing this, I'd have every cunt who thinks it's OK to pollute others' clean airspace with carcinogenic fumes rounded up and placed into concentration camps, in which they will be worked to death far more quickly making cancer research equipment than having to suffer years of ill-health leading up to an inevitably painful ending. I'll be doing the selfish fucks a favour. The NHS will thank me, too. Cunts. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 I'd like to fart in your face.Good evening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 I loathe these despicable fucking cunts. They look at those of us who wish to avoid cancer like we're trying to tell them how to fucking live. Why can't these smoke halls be placed next to flammable canisters or ammunition dumps? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 50 minutes ago, Wolfie said: If you smoke, and you wish to give yourself heart disease or even lung cancer, they're your vital organs and it is your choice. The place in which I work is full of smokers who stand in the narrow lane near the entrance, which means those coming into work, as well as many passers-by, are faced with breathing in their second-hand smoke. One such person is a fat, feminazi vegetarian sow who doesn't seem to understand it pains me to acknowledge her ugly face – and the only reason I do so is to forewarn her that I'm walking past, and at this time she ought to move her stinking fag away from me so that I don't have to fuckingwell breathe in its fumes. Almost every day she's there, her chubby fucking lips sucking on a cancer-inducing stick she deems OK for the rest of us to breathe in. Well, it's not OK. When she was asked by another non-smoking colleague, reasonably enough, whether she'd mind not smoking right in the doorway, she replied, somewhat haughtily and sarcastically 'I'm ever so sorry darling' – and waddled off like an angry teenager into the kitchen to go and snort a Pot Noodle or similar. Unfortunately, this type of scenario is typical up and down the country. For all sorts of complex reasons, non-smokers react to this in different ways – pub entrances probably being the only exception. If I had my way, however, I'd introduce new and stricter smoking protection laws to eradicate arseholes standing in public walkways or doorways, or in places where people can't avoid breathing in their shite. Failing this, I'd have every cunt who thinks it's OK to pollute others' clean airspace with carcinogenic fumes rounded up and placed into concentration camps, in which they will be worked to death far more quickly making cancer research equipment than having to suffer years of ill-health leading up to an inevitably painful ending. I'll be going the selfish fucks a favour. The NHS will thank me, too. Cunts. Although I'm a smoker, I've given you a like for the near perfect execution and the pot noodle reference. Sadly, although my council building is surrounded by a perma-ring of fat unemployed benefit claimants blowing smoke into their childrens prams, as an employee, my Bensons and I have been exiled to a sort of Gulag area behind the industrial waste collection point. It brings back happy memories of illicitly going two's on a roll up behind the bins at school, but sadly as of yet no one has been fingered whilst on their period. Whilst I agree that it's unfair to inflict a dirty habit on a unwilling person, I feel that an honourable mention needs to go out to the sort of cunt who as soon as they enter a 60ft radius of a smoker in a beer garden, begins to maniacally cough and wheeze like some sort of perpetually enraged Welsh miner. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 27 minutes ago, Neil said: I'd like to fart in your face.Good evening. The last thing your 55 inch waist and terminally impotent cock needs are cigarettes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 11 minutes ago, Decimus said: Although I'm a smoker, I've given you a like for the near perfect execution and the pot noodle reference. Sadly, although my council building is surrounded by a perma-ring of fat unemployed benefit claimants blowing smoke into their childrens prams, as an employee, my Bensons and I have been exiled to a sort of Gulag area behind the industrial waste collection point. It brings back happy memories of illicitly going two's on a roll up behind the bins at school, but sadly as of yet no one has been fingered whilst on their period. Whilst I agree that it's unfair to inflict a dirty habit on a unwilling person, I feel that an honourable mention needs to go out to the sort of cunt who as soon as they enter a 60ft radius of a smoker in a beer garden, begins to maniacally cough and wheeze like some sort of perpetually enraged Welsh miner. I too smoke, and have noticed the above phenomenon of the abstainer who puts on an Oscar winning, tubercolotic seizure performance as soon as they realise that they are within an hemisphere of a burning cigarette. Cunts indeed, but not in the same league as the pharmaceutical giants who have for decades, paid off the US F.D.A and their European counterparts to stifle and block any viable and feasible potential cures for cancer, so they can continue to peddle their £5 doses of toxic chemotherapy drugs to the worlds health services for £2000 a pop. I want them dead, and I want @Rev to be put in charge of dispatching them, with any power tools he deems necessary. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 9 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I too smoke, and have noticed the above phenomenon of the abstainer who puts on an Oscar winning, tubercolotic seizure performance as soon as they realise that they are within an hemisphere of a burning cigarette. Cunts indeed, but not in the same league as the pharmaceutical giants who have for decades, paid off the US F.D.A and their European counterparts to stifle and block any viable and feasible potential cures for cancer, so they can continue to peddle their £5 doses of toxic chemotherapy drugs to the worlds health services for £2000 a pop. I want them dead, and I want @Rev to be put in charge of dispatching them, with any power tools he deems necessary. Eric, upon further consideration I'm relegating Quincy (coked up) from my top ten to languish with Quincy (sober) in the lower echelons of the site. You're in the big leagues now, son. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 7 minutes ago, Decimus said: Eric, upon further consideration I'm relegating Quincy (coked up) from my top ten to languish with Quincy (sober) in the lower echelons of the site. You're in the big leagues now, son. I'm starting to feel a reluctant affinity with you too. Spurred on in no small way by the revelation that we both initially took up this filthy and destructive habit so that we got the opportunity to finger menstruating slags behind the bike sheds. Although I reserve pride in the fact that I had less fingers at my disposal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 9, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 1 hour ago, Wizardsleeve said: I loathe these despicable fucking cunts. They look at those of us who wish to avoid cancer like we're trying to tell them how to fucking live. Why can't these smoke halls be placed next to flammable canisters or ammunition dumps? Agreed. This is precisely why I carry a small canister of petrol with me all times, to ensure those who smoke near me are quickly set on fire. I suggest Eric and Decs wear name badges from now on, in case I ever get the opportunity to finger some menstruating slags behind random bins or bike sheds. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 4 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Agreed. This is precisely why I carry a small canister of petrol with me all times, to ensure those who smoke near me are quickly set on fire. I suggest Eric and Decs wear name badges from now on, in case I ever get the opportunity to finger some menstruating slags behind random bins or bike sheds. Don't knock it 'til you've fingered it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Erroreptile404 Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 If they smoke they poke. I'll admit i smoke but other people's cig smoke makes me feel sick for some reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 3 hours ago, Wolfie said: If you smoke, and you wish to give yourself heart disease or even lung cancer, they're your vital organs and it is your choice. The place in which I work is full of smokers who stand in the narrow lane near the entrance, which means those coming into work, as well as many passers-by, are faced with breathing in their second-hand smoke. One such person is a fat, feminazi vegetarian sow who doesn't seem to understand it pains me to acknowledge her ugly face – and the only reason I do so is to forewarn her that I'm walking past, and at this time she ought to move her stinking fag away from me so that I don't have to fuckingwell breathe in its fumes. Almost every day she's there, her chubby fucking lips sucking on a cancer-inducing stick she deems OK for the rest of us to breathe in. Well, it's not OK. When she was asked by another non-smoking colleague, reasonably enough, whether she'd mind not smoking right in the doorway, she replied, somewhat haughtily and sarcastically 'I'm ever so sorry darling' – and waddled off like an angry teenager into the kitchen to go and snort a Pot Noodle or similar. Unfortunately, this type of scenario is typical up and down the country. For all sorts of complex reasons, non-smokers react to this in different ways – pub entrances probably being the only exception. If I had my way, however, I'd introduce new and stricter smoking protection laws to eradicate arseholes standing in public walkways or doorways, or in places where people can't avoid breathing in their shite. Failing this, I'd have every cunt who thinks it's OK to pollute others' clean airspace with carcinogenic fumes rounded up and placed into concentration camps, in which they will be worked to death far more quickly making cancer research equipment than having to suffer years of ill-health leading up to an inevitably painful ending. I'll be going the selfish fucks a favour. The NHS will thank me, too. Cunts. You fucking hypocrite, polluting the atmosphere with their fags indeed. When you are sitting on a 737 wide body ( and it would have to be wide to accommodate your gargantuan arse and head ), what do you think the engines are doing?, polluting that's what. When you are driving your car, what is that doing? Get over yourself, punch the fag hag lezza in the gob, and have a wank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Eric, upon further consideration I'm relegating Quincy (coked up) from my top ten to languish with Quincy (sober) in the lower echelons of the site. You're in the big leagues now, son. Congratulations Eric, you have arrived. Cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 7 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: You fucking hypocrite, polluting the atmosphere with their fags. When you are sitting on a 737 wide body ( and it would have to be wide to accommodate your gargantuan arse and head ), what do you think the engines are doing?, polluting that's what. When you are driving your car, what is that doing? Get over yourself, punch the fag hag lezza in the gob, and have a wank. What are your thoughts on June Laverick? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 4 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Congratulations Eric, you have arrived. Cunt I arrived some time ago. Around the time that your arch-enemy Bubba mistakenly assumed me to be your creation and accused me of being the creation of a nazi raped farmhand. It's been a blast ever since. Any chance of resuming my career as your houseboy? I promise I won't impregnate any more of your daughters and produce any more controversial picaninny grandchildren. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 16 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: What are your thoughts on June Laverick? I miss her terribly. Telly has never been the same without her presence on light entertainment programmes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I too smoke, and have noticed the above phenomenon of the abstainer who puts on an Oscar winning, tubercolotic seizure performance as soon as they realise that they are within an hemisphere of a burning cigarette. Cunts indeed, but not in the same league as the pharmaceutical giants who have for decades, paid off the US F.D.A and their European counterparts to stifle and block any viable and feasible potential cures for cancer, so they can continue to peddle their £5 doses of toxic chemotherapy drugs to the worlds health services for £2000 a pop. I want them dead, and I want @Rev to be put in charge of dispatching them, with any power tools he deems necessary. Eric, sorry to interrupt. This Albert Ross wanker is getting on my tits. I want him dead, and am willing to pay. Please put the word around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 9 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Eric, sorry to interrupt. This Albert Ross wanker is getting on my tits. I want him dead, and am willing to pay. Please put the word around. I'm afraid that Proper has got me on tag, so I'm unable to comment on whether Albert is shit or not (a clue: he is). As he is currently untouchable, you can consider him to be under my wing. Any attack on young Ross I will consider as an attack upon myself, so unless you want a fucking good hiding, I suggest that you cease this nonsense immediately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 8 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: is getting on my tits. Have you got manboobs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 9 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Eric, sorry to interrupt. This Albert Ross wanker is getting on my tits. I want him dead, and am willing to pay. Please put the word around. Do you realise just how many people’s tits you get on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 1 minute ago, Ape said: Do you realise just how many people’s tits you get on? Certainly yours, that makes it all worthwhile. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 10 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Eric, sorry to interrupt. This Albert Ross wanker is getting on my tits. I want him dead, and am willing to pay. Please put the word around. I've attempted to mentor the cunt and been met with little progress. Consider him dead. Can I have some nice Brie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 7 minutes ago, Decimus said: I'm afraid that Proper has got me on tag, so I'm unable to comment on whether Albert is shit or not (a clue: he is). As he is currently untouchable, you can consider him to be under my wing. Amy attack on young Ross I will consider as am attack upon myself, so unless you want a fucking good hiding, I suggest that you cease this nonsense immediately. Who the fuck is Amy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 10 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: Have you got manboobs? Penelope. With all due respect, please stop this fucking dire shit. Ta very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 Let's be honest, knowing everything we know about smoking now, if you do it you're a fucking retard wherever you're inhaling it. Booze and weed and coke and everything else are bad for you too, but at least they have discernible benefits in the short term. Smoking only induces something pleasurable if you're thick enough to get addicted to the carcinogenic shit in the first place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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