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Intermarché Nutella Riots 2018.


Last Cunt Standing

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So the Nazis can roll unopposed up your Boulevards, swarthy Algierians can plough into your festivals in dumper trucks, and your mainstream radio stations can pump continual Jonny Halliday drivel into the stratosphere, all without so much as a Gallic shrug. But what’s guaranteed to get Monsieur and Madame Average going at it fist to elbow?

Chocolate spread is reduced in the shops. Can’t have a decent morning crepe without it, apparently. Across Rhineland West, Pascal and Bridgette were chinning the fuck out of each other yesterday to get their grubby mitts on the little pots of brown joy. It’s the most fun they’ve had out shopping since they tried that nice Jewish Deli in Paris back in January 2015. 

I bet our favourite neoplasm-enhanced goose worrier was at the front of the beret-wielding scrum when he heard the news, spouting off like Officer Crabtree with Tourette’s.

France used to be regarded as the last bastion of reserved, sceptical Western civilisation. A nation of Proust, Descartes and Sartre, and now they scramble like fat Yank savages on Crystal Meth over a manufactured sugary gloop. 

What a nation of absolute Cunts.

Fuck off.  

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/jan/26/ce-nest-pas-normal-french-shoppers-bra-over-discounted-nutella

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Guest Wizardsleeve

Nutella is a noxious substance at the best of times  It is best avoided and left to exterminate any insects in shop shelving, or fed in large quantity to frank and Punky.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 26/01/2018 at 8:04 AM, Last Cunt Standing said:

So the Nazis can roll unopposed up your Boulevards, swarthy Algierians can plough into your festivals in dumper trucks, and your mainstream radio stations can pump continual Jonny Halliday drivel into the stratosphere, all without so much as a Gallic shrug. But what’s guaranteed to get Monsieur and Madame Average going at it fist to elbow?

Chocolate spread is reduced in the shops. Can’t have a decent morning crepe without it, apparently. Across Rhineland West, Pascal and Bridgette were chinning the fuck out of each other yesterday to get their grubby mitts on the little pots of brown joy. It’s the most fun they’ve had out shopping since they tried that nice Jewish Deli in Paris back in January 2015. 

I bet our favourite neoplasm-enhanced goose worrier was at the front of the beret-wielding scrum when he heard the news, spouting off like Officer Crabtree with Tourette’s.

France used to be regarded as the last bastion of reserved, sceptical Western civilisation. A nation of Proust, Descartes and Sartre, and now they scramble like fat Yank savages on Crystal Meth over a manufactured sugary gloop. 

What a nation of absolute Cunts.

Fuck off.  

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/jan/26/ce-nest-pas-normal-french-shoppers-bra-over-discounted-nutella

 

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Makes me want to fill some empty jars with my own soft brown recipe and imagine some frog spreading that shit on their breakfast crepe. Bon Apetit, Scrotes you EuroCunt.

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