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Any cunt who doesn't open the window after a shite


Guest Lord McCunty

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Guest Lord McCunty

Open the fucking window.   Do you really think that a quick squirt of Febreze magically converts your shite dust into atomized rose petals?    Open the window, you filthy fucking cunts.   Turn the fan on too if there is one, but don't  leave a fucking closed up shit bomb.

Disgraceful "people".

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Guest Gronda Gronda
40 minutes ago, Lord McCunty said:

Open the fucking window.   Do you really think that a quick squirt of Febreze magically converts your shite dust into atomized rose petals?    Open the window, you filthy fucking cunts.   Turn the fan on too if there is one, but don't  leave a fucking closed up shit bomb.

Disgraceful "people".

And if you like to spend a bit more time on the toilet for some alone time, a courtesy flush can make a big difference. 

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Guest Lord McCunty
13 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

And if you like to spend a bit more time on the toilet for some alone time, a courtesy flush can make a big difference. 

The stench of shit rather puts one off a spontaneous wank.

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All the references to shit, poo and excrement are becoming worrying, it seems to be an obsession that rears(no pun intended)it's smelly little head on every thread.

Bloody disgusting I call it, WTF is wrong with you people?

Fuck off

 

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Guest Boaby

I’m really sorry there’s times I’ve flushed and the poo is still lying there staring at me and won’t go. It has to get mashed up a bit to shift it. Opening the window wouldn’t help

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20 hours ago, Lord McCunty said:

Open the fucking window.   Do you really think that a quick squirt of Febreze magically converts your shite dust into atomized rose petals?    Open the window, you filthy fucking cunts.   Turn the fan on too if there is one, but don't  leave a fucking closed up shit bomb.

Disgraceful "people".

Well said that man. I'll direct you and the obvious gentleman @Gronda Gronda to my excellent "The lost art of the courtesy flush" nomination which basically outlines all that's wrong with our society. 

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You know why people with 'less than welcoming' inclinations to our foreign brethren, call other countries 'third world shit-holes'?

It's because, over there they're used to taking a dump in a hole, in the jungle or desert and don't give a fuck who comes across it after the fact. So when they're confronted with a British bathroom/toilet system, they haven't got a fucking clue how it should be used, they crimp one off and leave it, no arse wipery, no flush, no opening of windows, just crap it out and be on your way.

Just another fuckin' service brought to you by the wonderful EU social integration programme.

Happy now?

Fuck off!

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Whilst I await Stickers' response to this, I'll lay my full condemnation on those who can't be fucked to quickly give a courtesy flush, after laying a Robbie Williams of such magnitude and consistency that it leaves the shitter looking like the cast of Eastenders were all huddled up eating Cadbury's Flakes over the cunt.

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Guest 'eavensabove
On ‎7‎/‎22‎/‎2018 at 1:58 AM, Lord McCunty said:

Open the fucking window.   Do you really think that a quick squirt of Febreze magically converts your shite dust into atomized rose petals?    Open the window, you filthy fucking cunts.   Turn the fan on too if there is one, but don't  leave a fucking closed up shit bomb.

Disgraceful "people".

Have you raised this matter with those that you live with?  If not, then install a proper fan (as pictured) in the centre of your cloakroom, and next time you take a shit, place a turd upon each rotary fan blade, and retreat to the garden area. 

living-room-beautiful-ceiling-fan-for-in

 

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Guest 'eavensabove

I only ever take a shit upon my own bog. You never know where others arses have been. However, if I'm cut short at some other persons gaff, I squat upon their wash-basin and dispose of my waste matter down the plug hole using one of their tooth-brushes. I quick scrub though my arse-crack with their Loofa, and its back to base.  On the other hand, visitors can use the neighbours garden like the wife does.

Edited by 'eavensabove
Had to pause and take a shit.
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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

If the fucking sexist lesbians on the marketing team for VIPooh had made a bit more of an effort to be all inclusive I would carry some of this around in my back pocket. Don't they fucking realise that unwashed binmen and gay model helicopter pilots do smelly shits too? 

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Guest Lord McCunty
22 hours ago, 'eavensabove said:

Have you raised this matter with those that you live with?  If not, then install a proper fan (as pictured) in the centre of your cloakroom, and next time you take a shit, place a turd upon each rotary fan blade, and retreat to the garden area. 

living-room-beautiful-ceiling-fan-for-in

 

Hahaha.   I did mean extractor fan, but I like your idea better.

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Guest Bill Stickers
On 7/23/2018 at 4:14 PM, nocti said:

Whilst I await Stickers' response to this, I'll lay my full condemnation on those who can't be fucked to quickly give a courtesy flush, after laying a Robbie Williams of such magnitude and consistency that it leaves the shitter looking like the cast of Eastenders were all huddled up eating Cadbury's Flakes over the cunt.

I’ve always enjoyed a good old fashioned fecal hotbox. Windows shut for me. 

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Guest 'eavensabove
4 hours ago, Lord McCunty said:

Hahaha.   I did mean extractor fan, but I like your idea better.

This one's reliable too, if it's a cool-air conditioning system you're after. 

629201301474.jpg

Before it got nicked, Monumental, used a similar model for his car.

Redneck-Air-conditioning.jpg

 

Edited by 'eavensabove
A breath of fresh air.
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Guest Lord McCunty
8 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

I’ve always enjoyed a good old fashioned fecal hotbox. Windows shut for me. 

You filthy fucking cunt.   Are you aware of where bumwad should go?

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Guest Bill Stickers
6 hours ago, Lord McCunty said:

You filthy fucking cunt.   Are you aware of where bumwad should go?

Rinse, then lay it out on the cistern for later re-usage.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Drew Peacock

Mrs Peacock recently bought a new product called V.I Poo (or pooh) which claims to neutralise even the niffiest pong. I realised it wasn't very successful after she emerged from the bog after my first post-pub dump like she'd been mustard gassed in the trenches calling me names that I won't repeat on a family website like this.

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58 minutes ago, Drew Peacock said:

Mrs Peacock recently bought a new product called V.I Poo (or pooh) which claims to neutralise even the niffiest pong. I realised it wasn't very successful after she emerged from the bog after my first post-pub dump like she'd been mustard gassed in the trenches calling me names that I won't repeat on a family website like this.

Did this prevent her from rimming you later?

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On 7/22/2018 at 1:58 AM, Lord McCunty said:

Open the fucking window.   Do you really think that a quick squirt of Febreze magically converts your shite dust into atomized rose petals?    Open the window, you filthy fucking cunts.   Turn the fan on too if there is one, but don't  leave a fucking closed up shit bomb.

Disgraceful "people".

I would normally agree, however some of the sewage that has been dropping out of my arse recently is weapons grade radioactive.   If let loose into the atmosphere it could kill all of Gloucestershire before its half life makes it safe.   It’s like something bad has crawled up my arse and died, it needs raking out but in a confined space.  I blame it on Guinness and Cheese crackers, mixed with a lot of green veg and salad, Some Diet Coke, and a bag of Randoms.  

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