Useless scientists

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

29 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Yeah, why not. I love his films, much better than that Harold Lloyd cunt.

Eric. We haven’t chatted in a bit. Without being crude, how are your tonsils doing for being sprayed in liquid shite?

[Eric Cuntman]

4 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Eric. We haven’t chatted in a bit. Without being crude, how are your tonsils doing for being sprayed in liquid shite?

Whenever's convenient. Not doing much Sunday.

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Whenever's convenient. Not doing much Sunday.

Say aaaaaah

[Guest Bill Stickers]

13 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

I was a front seat passenger in one of those, in Soderhamn, Sweden, 1978. A student called Kiki sat on my lap, and let me penetrate her as we went across a level crossing. I still remember her with genuine fondness, as she used to push two digits up my chuff as she blew me. A really great car.  Does this help Scotty?

Did you have to end the relationship when the cancer got too large for her to get a few knuckles up inside your balloon knot? 

[Witheredscrote]

2 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

Did you have to end the relationship when the cancer got too large for her to get a few knuckles up inside your balloon knot? 

Bill, have you ever been fisted by Frank, whilst incapacitated, and stuck in an iron lung.  It's not nice.  Shame on you.

[Penny Farthing]

9 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Bill, have you ever been fisted by Frank, whilst incapacitated, and stuck in an iron lung.  It's not nice.  Shame on you.

Wither's would this be of use to you?

 

[Stubby Pecker]

12 hours ago, Wybunbury Bertie said:

Here it is Stubbsy Baby

 

On second thoughts I'll pass thanks. I yomped up fuckers like that in the rain a lifetime ago.

[Penny Farthing]

46 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

On second thoughts I'll pass thanks. I yomped up fuckers like that in the rain a lifetime ago.

Who's lifetime?

[Guest N/A]

On 9/20/2018 at 11:30 AM, Mrs Roops said:

Aside from the very early models, Alfasuds were highly regarded cars having achieved the holy grail of adhesive road holding coupled with superlative ride comfort due to having a low centre of gravity and an advanced suspension setup normally found in much larger cars at the time. It would take over a decade before the rest of the motor industry caught up with the Sud in equalling the ride refinement balance in a small family car. 

Forget the Giulia Quadrifoglio, for one thing a true petrol head would know how to spell it correctly, its just that its a heck of a jump from a fourth-hand RS5 to a vehicle whose basic list price is just short of £60k. Deprecation is comparable to prestige German marques yet PCP rates are piss-poor. Try and source a late model Ford Focus, more so if its shiny. Anyway, haven't you blown enough of your modest inheritance on cars? Having had the insurance turn down your claim because you let the thief drive off in your car whilst showing off to younger men in a fast food drive through establishment must hurt. "Hey dude, cool car. Can I sit in it to test the throttle response?" "sure, why not.........hey, wait a minute"

Did you simply lift the first part from top gear magazine?  Bye the way no serious petrol head ever calls a car by its correct name.  If you do it’s a “Nigel” in a brown cardigan moment, the sort of guy you attract no doubt.  Even Clarkson does not call the Alfa by its true name and he’s a right cunt.

Have genuinely bought a diesel A3 for my lad to learn to drive. So can use it sparingly to keep miles off an Alfa if I get one.  I’ve looked into the pcp market and for just £10k deposit, 12,000 miles per yr it’s about £600 permonth.    So even a half decent wage earning twat like me can swan around in an Alfa thinking he’s got a Ferrari.  It’s do able  not fantasist. Before you crap on.

p.s.  Audi was car jacked in car park in Cov, with cunts waiting for me.  Not funny.   I hope they crow bar your head into pulp one day when they have a need to steal your rusty fiat punto.    Car theft is rife at the moment in midlands.  Another two people I know have been Relayed with a device and cars stolen.  One was just a bmw touring estate diesel 3 years old, nothing flash.  Fucking poor state of affairs this car theft, it’s down to immigrants of course.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

6 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

Did you simply lift the first part from top gear magazine?  Bye the way no serious petrol head ever calls a car by its correct name.  If you do it’s a “Nigel” in a brown cardigan moment, the sort of guy you attract no doubt.  Even Clarkson does not call the Alfa by its true name and he’s a right cunt.

Have genuinely bought a diesel A3 for my lad to learn to drive. So can use it sparingly to keep miles off an Alfa if I get one.  I’ve looked into the pcp market and for just £10k deposit, 12,000 miles per yr it’s about £600 permonth.    So even a half decent wage earning twat like me can swan around in an Alfa thinking he’s got a Ferrari.  It’s do able  not fantasist. Before you crap on.

p.s.  Audi was car jacked in car park in Cov, with cunts waiting for me.  Not funny.   I hope they crow bar your head into pulp one day when they have a need to steal your rusty fiat punto.    Car theft is rife at the moment in midlands.  Another two people I know have been Relayed with a device and cars stolen.  One was just a bmw touring estate diesel 3 years old, nothing flash.  Fucking poor state of affairs this car theft, it’s down to immigrants of course.

Why are you so desperate to impress? 

[Mrs Roops]

7 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

Did you simply lift the first part from top gear magazine?  Bye the way no serious petrol head ever calls a car by its correct name.  If you do it’s a “Nigel” in a brown cardigan moment, the sort of guy you attract no doubt.  Even Clarkson does not call the Alfa by its true name and he’s a right cunt.

Hmm, let's remind ourselves how you called it,

On ‎9‎/‎19‎/‎2018 at 11:23 PM, Monumental cunt said:

Yes we all know old alfasuds etc were shit, but do you know if the new Guilia is any good?  Quadrifaglio version

Now let's see how Clarkson calls it in his review. What was it I warned about you making stuff up? Yet here we are...

That said, I'll take on board your point about "correct names" so hence forth I'll apply the generic "middle-aged fantasist's wet-dream" whenever discussing whatever posh motor you purport to drive. 

[Guest N/A]

On 9/23/2018 at 9:13 AM, Mrs Roops said:

Hmm, let's remind ourselves how you called it,

Now let's see how Clarkson calls it in his review. What was it I warned about you making stuff up? Yet here we are...

That said, I'll take on board your point about "correct names" so hence forth I'll apply the generic "middle-aged fantasist's wet-dream" whenever discussing whatever posh motor you purport to drive. 

What are you on about.  I’ve lost the thread on this one Roops.  Iam genuinely just asking about Alfa’s and if anyone has got the new one.  Nothing else.  You are just targeting something completely Roger Irrelevant.  Give me a break.

so do I have to post a picture of an Alfa outside my stone clad council house in the future?  To be honest Iam possibly going to get a company car as the insurance having “lost” and M3 and a RS is thru the roof.   But it is a tempting fantasist motor that may turn into reality as you well know.

[Guest N/A]

On 9/23/2018 at 8:13 AM, William T.D. Stickers said:

Why are you so desperate to impress? 

Iam not in anyway seeking to impress.  This is just fact and gives context to my car getting jacked by a gang of car thieves.  Would they jack a battered old mini?  No.  They are targeting high end cars, but also any BMW, that’s the warning.  My mates diesel touring estate got jacked the other day.  The point is the Police are doing absolutely fuck all and car theft is rife.   And that is a cunt.  When you earn any money and get off benefits, if someone steals your car, you will be equally as gutted. Then when a second car goes in ten months, you will think car thieves are cunts.   It’s shit mate.   The victim picks up all the cost as your insurance becomes ridiculous for no fault of your own.  Also you become acutely aware that gangs simply break into your house at night and they will stop at nothing to get the keys, or now they don’t even do that.  You just wake up to an empty driveway.

[Mrs Roops]

1 hour ago, Monumental cunt said:

You just wake up to an empty driveway.

In your dreams, MC. All Right To Buy householders and council tenants at Ironstone Terrace don't have driveways - they all park in the street.

[Wolfie]

1 hour ago, Monumental cunt said:

My mates diesel touring estate got jacked the other day. 

Wow, that's inauspiciously coincidental – with your mate suffering the fate of an identical car theft so soon after yours.

What's more surprising is you actually have any friends.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

9 hours ago, Wolfie said:

Wow, that's inauspiciously coincidental – with your mate suffering the fate of an identical car theft so soon after yours.

What's more surprising is you actually have any friends.

Do you remember Eddie’s mate and the farcical story about the car park ruckus?

MC is such a liar he plagiarises bollocks off this very forum. No way either have a mate between them. 

[Wolfie]

3 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

Do you remember Eddie’s mate and the farcical story about the car park ruckus?

MC is such a liar he plagiarises bollocks off this very forum. No way either have a mate between them. 

I can't find Eddie's fight yarn, though I recall he 'took out a few' scooter riders in a pub car park to protect a mother and daughter (probably tearful drunken slags staying at the same Premier Inn), 'with a mate', because he was 'with a mate' in a pub car park, 'with a mate'.

The authenticity of this legendary scrap was confirmed soon after by Eddie's sausage fingers landing on a punchbag while shouting 'Snatch' in a Mockney voice, ironically similar to MC's Brick Top avatar in Snatch.

Eddie, you're a fucking bullshitting pussy.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

2 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

I can't find Eddie's fight yarn, though I recall he 'took out a few' scooter riders in a pub car park to protect a mother and daughter (probably tearful drunken slags staying at the same Premier Inn), 'with a mate', because he was 'with a mate' in a pub car park, 'with a mate'.

The authenticity of this legendary scrap was confirmed soon after by Eddie's sausage fingers landing on a punchbag while shouting 'Snatch' in a Mockney voice, ironically similar to the MC's avatar Brick Top in Snatch.

Eddie, you're a fucking bullshitting pussy.

Obviously, 'a mate' of yours then. 

[Eric Cuntman]

4 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

I can't find Eddie's fight yarn, though I recall he 'took out a few' scooter riders in a pub car park to protect a mother and daughter (probably tearful drunken slags staying at the same Premier Inn), 'with a mate', because he was 'with a mate' in a pub car park, 'with a mate'.

The authenticity of this legendary scrap was confirmed soon after by Eddie's sausage fingers landing on a punchbag while shouting 'Snatch' in a Mockney voice, ironically similar to MC's Brick Top avatar in Snatch.

Eddie, you're a fucking bullshitting pussy.

I always picture Eddie & Mate running gallantly to the rescue as Del and Rodney in batman costumes.

[Wolfie]

7 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

Obviously, 'a mate' of yours then. 

If you're going to pick a fight don't forget to remove your straitjacket, cunt.

Pub car park?

[Cuntybaws]

12 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

I can't find Eddie's fight yarn...

Do I have to do everything around here? Fucking amateurs.

 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 minute ago, Wolfie said:

If you're going to pick a fight don't forget to remove your straitjacket, cunt.

Pub car park?

Bring a shovel.

 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

3 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Do I have to do everything around here? Fucking amateurs.

 

We're not all Mods. 

[Guest N/A]

14 hours ago, Wolfie said:

Wow, that's inauspiciously coincidental – with your mate suffering the fate of an identical car theft so soon after yours.

What's more surprising is you actually have any friends.

Yes it is amazing I have any friends or that one other vehicle has been stolen. That must be utter bollocks, surely the constabulary have caught the naughty immigrant responsible for stealing the one and only car ever to go missing and that he wasn’t a friend really, just someone I over heard in the pub talking about his car not being there when he looked outside in the morning.   He must have parked it at the pub and walked home. Silly me.

[Guest N/A]

15 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

In your dreams, MC. All Right To Buy householders and council tenants at Ironstone Terrace don't have driveways - they all park in the street.

I recall my car was parked on a driveway in the Cotswoldgate pictures.  Albeit outside a £1.5 m council house with dodger stone cladding.  Not sure being detached and next to a farm as being classed as a “Terrace” and as for the word street, that’s very urban, we prefer to use the word “lane”.