Security Guards at Gigs

[Decimus]

18 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said:

Well good old Roopsy. Personally I thought it was a bit ropey but hey maybe the daft cow is getting the hang or trying to get the hang of banter after many many attempts. 

The jury is out on that one. 

She's vastly improved, to the point she's even made me laugh on a couple of occasions.

And don't count me as a lickspittle, subservient, Roopesque worm. The cunt has banned me three times in two months so there's no love loss there.

Credit where credit is due, though, she's only half shit.

[Mrs Roops]

3 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Oh now I see... You were being a sarcastic cunt. Still, 5/10 - less malevolent than usual.

More concern really. There would be a maelstrom of twenty odd traumas going on in a confined space. Loud noise and intense vibration is the last thing Billy should have subjected himself to.

[Roadkill]

2 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

More concern really. There would be a maelstrom of twenty odd traumas going on in a confined space. Loud noise and intense vibration is the last thing Billy should have subjected himself to.

No. We're not doing this, Roops. I might not be able to beat you in an argument, but that doesn't mean I'm just going to lie down and let you use me as a relay to kick the shit out of a poor git who's just went through dental surgery. This is low even for you.

Run @King Billy you gummy bastard! I'll hold her off as long as I can!

[King Billy]

41 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

You're welcome, Billy. My role here is to educate, inform and entertain all you after all... but jeez Billy, all your teeth?. That's hardcore and demonstrates a level of grit that Eric can only aspire to. The procedure itself doesn't present any problems but you probably had as many injections as extractions, which is fine but when that wears off that creates a powerful shock to the system so, I trust you were kept in for observation for 6-8 hours afterwards. More alarming is that you loosened off several magazines of a fully automatic gun shortly afterwards. What next? Intensive trampolining?

I had 17 injections and yes I was in shock afterwards. (Not when I got the bill) but my temperature was going up and down like a whores knickers, sweating and shivering etc. But as the saying goes...No pain....No gain. As for the shooting range, well that was great fun although I would enjoy that no matter how I was feeling. When I go back in 4 months time to have the implant posts fitted I’m gonna go a couple of days earlier and try our every bit of hardware they have, and they have some proper tasty bits of kit. I don’t know if you know but I come from a bit of an army background, my old man, my older brother were both career soldiers and I had a short stint in the army too but discipline and myself have never been the best of mates. So, I’ve always had a keen interest in big shiny things that go bang and give the feeling of ultimate power and invincibility. After all what little boy didn’t want to be Rambo when they were growing up, apart from maybe Punkers, who probably dreamed of being Lord Snooty or Bertie Wooster. Anyway Mrs. As I know you really are the font of all knowledge, I was wondering if you had any ideas you could share with me on what to eat without the need for chewing. There’s only so much soup you can eat without the need for a full time colostomy bag.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

Are you fucking kidding me? That's the most human I've ever seen her act, approaching another punter, not with the intention of arguing with them or banning them, just to indulge in harmless, lighthearted banter.

9/10, Roops - almost human. Proud of you 👍

You do know she's half Vulcan? 

[Mrs Roops]

20 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I had 17 injections and yes I was in shock afterwards. (Not when I got the bill) but my temperature was going up and down like a whores knickers, sweating and shivering etc. But as the saying goes...No pain....No gain. As for the shooting range, well that was great fun although I would enjoy that no matter how I was feeling. When I go back in 4 months time to have the implant posts fitted I’m gonna go a couple of days earlier and try our every bit of hardware they have, and they have some proper tasty bits of kit. I don’t know if you know but I come from a bit of an army background, my old man, my older brother were both career soldiers and I had a short stint in the army too but discipline and myself have never been the best of mates. So, I’ve always had a keen interest in big shiny things that go bang and give the feeling of ultimate power and invincibility. After all what little boy didn’t want to be Rambo when they were growing up, apart from maybe Punkers, who probably dreamed of being Lord Snooty or Bertie Wooster. Anyway Mrs. As I know you really are the font of all knowledge, I was wondering if you had any ideas you could share with me on what to eat without the need for chewing. There’s only so much soup you can eat without the need for a full time colostomy bag.

Obviously anything that doesn't require much mastication (stop sniggering at the back) Scrambled egg, overcooked pasta dishes (no al dente) with grated parmesan cheese (avoid mozzarella - too chewy and will stick in cavities) If you have a sweet tooth then tinned strawberries with cream which is very soft and will slide down the throat with minimal chewing required, stewed apples etc.

[King Billy]

30 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

More concern really. There would be a maelstrom of twenty odd traumas going on in a confined space. Loud noise and intense vibration is the last thing Billy should have subjected himself to.

Has Eddie taken back the Q5 and sloped off back to Bigfoot Mrs Roops. Am I just a throwaway plaything to lure Ed back?   I’m a human being you know, I’m not a sex toy. I feel such a fool. I’ve already told my girlfriend all about us. She seemed quite pleased I was leaving her actually. I think she was just putting a brave face on things. Eddie says he will pop past and make sure she’s ok every night , on his way home from the parts counter. He’s a good mate like that.

[King Billy]

9 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

Obviously anything that doesn't require much mastication (stop sniggering at the back) Scrambled egg, overcooked pasta dishes (no al dente) with grated parmesan cheese (avoid mozzarella - too chewy and will stick in cavities) If you have a sweet tooth then tinned strawberries with cream which is very soft and will slide down the throat with minimal chewing required, stewed apples etc.

I’ve got a dog that can do the chewing for me so thanks but forget about it. I’ve just trained him to eat pedigree chum off my bare arse. Good Boy!!!

[King Billy]

17 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

You do know she's half Vulcan? 

One normal ear.

[Mrs Roops]

1 minute ago, King Billy said:

Has Eddie taken back the Q5 and sloped off back to Bigfoot Mrs Roops. Am I just a throwaway plaything to lure Ed back?   I’m a human being you know, I’m not a sex toy. I feel such a fool. I’ve already told my girlfriend all about us. She seemed quite pleased I was leaving her actually. I think she was just putting a brave face on things. Eddie says he will pop past and make sure she’s ok every night , on his way home from the parts counter. He’s a good mate like that.

Eddie made the mistake of following my instructions and left the V5C in the glove compartment with spare keys. The vehicle is at an undisclosed Audi showroom as a low mileage model.

[Roadkill]

3 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

Obviously anything that doesn't require much mastication (stop sniggering at the back) Scrambled egg, overcooked pasted dishes (no al dente) with grated parmesan cheese (avoid mozzarella - too chewy and will stick in cavities) If you have a sweet tooth then tinned strawberries with cream which is very soft and will slide down the throat with minimal chewing required, stewed apples etc.

 

2 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Has Eddie taken back the Q5 and sloped off back to Bigfoot Mrs Roops. Am I just a throwaway plaything to lure Ed back?   I’m a human being you know, I’m not a sex toy. I feel such a fool. I’ve already told my girlfriend all about us. She seemed quite pleased I was leaving her actually. I think she was just putting a brave face on things. Eddie says he will pop past and make sure she’s ok every night , on his way home from the parts counter. He’s a good mate like that.

Ohhh... Billy in with the weird perv vibes just as Roops gives him an honest answer to the question he was probably getting impatient about!

Mmmm... the awkwardness is palpable.

[Mrs Roops]

1 minute ago, King Billy said:

I’ve got a dog that can do the chewing for me so thanks but forget about it. I’ve just trained him to eat pedigree chum off my bare arse. Good Boy!!!

I can think of better ways to discover the divine pleasures of rimming, but each to their own I suppose...

[King Billy]

1 minute ago, Mrs Roops said:

I can think of better ways to discover the divine pleasures of rimming, but each to their own I suppose...

Wash your filthy mouth out. How dare you lower the tone of the conversation. We’re done.

[Roadkill]

Just now, Mrs Roops said:

I can think of better ways to discover the divine pleasures of rimming, but each to their own I suppose...

Seeing as we're talking about activities concerning the arsehole, I could swear back in my stoner days that someone PM'd me a link of you on another site going on about how you enjoyed rubbing one out when you were having your morning shit.

Was this all a hallucination or did you actually post something like that on another forum in the past? I can't even remember the name of the site, or the punter who sent me the link, but I fucking swear it happened. I had a sort of flashback now and just remembered it...

[camberwell gypsy]

16 minutes ago, King Billy said:

One normal ear.

A final front ear. 

[Mrs Roops]

11 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Seeing as we're talking about activities concerning the arsehole, I could swear back in my stoner days that someone PM'd me a link of you on another site going on about how you enjoyed rubbing one out when you were having your morning shit.

Was this all a hallucination or did you actually post something like that on another forum in the past? I can't even remember the name of the site, or the punter who sent me the link, but I fucking swear it happened. I had a sort of flashback now and just remembered it...

Probably happened, it was a sex forum after all.

Anyway since Billy has grossed himself about activities that would be of some concern to the RSPCA, we'll leave it there.

[Roadkill]

1 minute ago, Mrs Roops said:

Probably happened, it was a sex forum after all.

Anyway since Billy has grossed himself about activities that would be of some concern to the RSPCA, we'll leave it there.

Why would you make it seem like I asked you such a disgusting question you wierdo? (I hid the original - I'm a bit drunk right now and couldn't figure out if I was crossing a line or not so decided to play it safe).

Either way, this has all taken quite a turn, so yeah. Best left here.

[King Billy]

28 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Seeing as we're talking about activities concerning the arsehole, I could swear back in my stoner days that someone PM'd me a link of you on another site going on about how you enjoyed rubbing one out when you were having your morning shit.

Was this all a hallucination or did you actually post something like that on another forum in the past? I can't even remember the name of the site, or the punter who sent me the link, but I fucking swear it happened. I had a sort of flashback now and just remembered it...

Eddie just PMd me RK. He says he found a fresh steaming log under the drivers seat of the new Q5. Roops apparently blew her top and shouted something about a big screaming redacted on the passenger seat.

Swings and roundabouts I guess.

Edited September 28, 2019 by Mrs Roops

[Roadkill]

Just now, King Billy said:

Eddie just PMd me RK. He says he found a fresh steaming log under the drivers seat of the new Q5. Roops apparently blew her top and shouted something about a big screaming wog on the passenger seat.

Swings and roundabouts I guess.

I'm off to bed, Billy. Too pissed to keep this up yet still sober enough to know when a conversation is devolving into the adult equivelent of poo jokes. G'night

[King Billy]

1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

I'm off to bed, Billy. Too pissed to keep this up yet still sober enough to know when a conversation is devolving into the adult equivelent of poo jokes. G'night

Good idea. Hasta manana.

[Decimus]

19 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

A final front ear. 

 

[Mrs Roops]

4 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

I'm off to bed, Billy. Too pissed to keep this up yet still sober enough to know when a conversation is devolving into the adult equivelent of poo jokes. G'night

So am I, tomorrow is a pyjama day, which means I've allowed myself few glasses of rioja and a small amount of courvoisier whilst binging on Peaky Blinders.

[Decimus]

5 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

So am I, tomorrow is a pyjama day, which means I've allowed myself few glasses of rioja and a small amount of courvoisier whilst binging on Peaky Blinders.

Opinion on the latest series?

I'll give you mine. It was awful.

I'm a fan, I've loved it since day one, and I think series 4 was the height. Apart from a few decent moments in the first couple of episodes, I'd say that series 5 has been a huge let down. The Billy Boys were massively under utilised, they could have made more of the Chinese, and all those weird dream sequences were a piss poor attempt to ape The Sopranos.

[Guest judgetwi]

55 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

So am I, tomorrow is a pyjama day, which means I've allowed myself few glasses of rioja and a small amount of courvoisier whilst binging on Peaky Blinders.

Pathetic middle class, superior fucking crowing bullshit Are we supposed to admire your fantastic taste in BBC propaganda about the working class who you hate with a passion Mr(s) Roops? Are we supposed to admire your taste in some fucking wine you have read about in some Sunday Supplement you complete fucking poseur? May I suggest you stick your pyjamas up your arse followed by some delicately flavoured bottle of Italian wine? (with the cork still in it obviously)

What a laughable load of pseudo posh bollocks.

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

11 hours ago, Decimus said:

You're right, there's nothing complicated about it all.

There is absolutely no complexity involved in endlessly repeating the same tired gay-based insults ad infinitum.

Thanks for answering and confirming that you're tediously predictable by being, unsurprisingly, tediously predictable.

When you begin posting in such a manner that is worthy of an increased level of complexity in response, then that is what you'll receive.

But as things stand right now, every single comment you and your cohorts, (I've been instructed that you're not mates) direct towards me has the tone and timbre of those snooty, bitchy effeminate types who swish around with their noses stuck up in the air, trying to come off as being too regal and posh for regular, normal fellows who just find sissies like you insufferably faggy.

11 hours ago, Roadkill said:

I think your misunderstanding the relationship mechanics of what you've done here - we're hardly mates.

Me and Decs have never been anything but passing acquaintances on here, and Cuntybaws is just the cunt who keeps nicking money out of my bank account and trying to sell me into white slavery.

There is no bond between us aside from the fact that we find your hysterical antics vaguely amusing, and when you've finally fucked off we won't hesitate to get back to cunting one another. The same goes for Major Cunt, Ape, and every other twat that has happened to get a punch in on you recently. You've fallen for @Eric Cuntman's patented newbie like milking technique, thinking this place is run with solid alliances and vows of honour, when really all you've managed to do is give a bunch of cunts who wouldn't give one another the time of day in any other situation a chance to discuss what a melodramatic little shit you are on common ground.

And you're a sad enough cunt to see this as some form of accomplishment. You utter fucking clown. 

Bullshit.

You can downplay or understate the little crybaby coalition certain pussies like you and a few others have formed against me all you want to, but whatever your prior relationship was or was not outside of this forum before I joined, it certainly exists now and you all have obviously made it your mission in life to constantly bitch and moan like nasty little twats both at me and about me.

But understand... I'm fine with that. I enjoy knowing that I'm driving you twats over the edge and making your lives even more miserable than they already are.

The funny part, is the way you all throw around words like angry, melodramatic, tedious, unfunny and various other negative adjectives with which you've described me, while being cluelessly and blissfully unaware that they all apply equally and even more so to yourselves.

Basically, you're a bunch of boring, tedious, angry, melodramatic, unfunny, witless bloviators whose big talent is acting like shit and calling people names.

To be honest, I think the real cause of all the life-hating bitterness displayed by you and your little group, is probably rooted in deep seated feelings of personal inadequacy. I'm guessing that cunts like you, @Decimus, @Cuntybaws and @Ape are probably all, if not practicing homosexuals, middle aged incels who couldn't get laid if you walked into a whore house with £100 notes plastered to your foreheads.

On a positive note, I think that going forward, I'm going to try to treat you losers with a little more sympathy and understanding from now on. I'm beginning to realize that you’ve probably got a lot of deep personal issues that are driving your prissy attitudes and nasty, dysfunctional behavior.