Dyslexic cnut

Fuck off. It’s not funny.

Gypps. I went to Knowsley Safari Park last week to visit Jake’s family. I saw a gorilla with a banana in one hand and a can opener in the other. I shouted ‘you don’t need that to open that.’ The cheeky cunt shouted back…‘it’s for the custard, dickhead!’

Enjoy the memories. The Dnipro gargoyle arrives 27/5. I’ll PM you pics. Let’s see if you can raise a prong off this truffle-pig faced cunt.

You can negotiate the terms of your surrender with my manager @Old Chap Raasclaat. Leave it until next Thursday. He’s in Port-au-Prince sampling a new batch of voodoo death resin.

I’m not. The skank ratess rip recently coolered me, again, for fuck all. I genuinely wish vulval impetigo on her and that she tears her inflamed itching labia off trying to alleviate matters. Then dies.

Speak, Punkers…we can all see you’ve logged on again and are creeping around the site. Odd, silent weirdo.

You’re going soft, lad.

Margo(t)?

I naively asked you to let him live and after you and Roops killed him, I got anally butchered for my youthful temerity. There’s a little bit of you that wishes the mad little cunt was still here…tell the truth now.

Spit it out Decs.

Creepy Cunt. Remember, it can’t be killed.

Cafetière? Peasant equipment. I’ve sent the Paros down, Eric. Let me know how you get on with it.

I’ve got a Gaggia Paros in the garage doing fuck all. Bean to cup with an adjustable grinder if you want it. There’s also a Gaggia Brera in there too somewhere…that needs a service but if you’re handy yourself?

Eric, I’ll PM you about the time I was stranded in a Caracas whorehouse. In our drinking company were twelve, mostly Maori NZ ‘naval personnel’ (winks!) 30 mouthy, aggressive US Marines came in, pissed on Michelob Lite and shouting the odds. Shortly after, they left…but oddly, none via the door.

Vancouver Island only. The rest of the place is rammed with slopes and desert spooks. Much as it pains me to say it, LCS lives in the only place I’ve visited that I’d settle…relatively cunt-free…apart from him. As you know, I’m widely travelled with celebrity friends so I know what I’m talking about here. Pierre Trudeau is a cunt.

We’re generationally fucked. No wonder Vlad is trying his hand.

Made a pig of myself in that vineyard several times. Woke up, fresh as a fuckin daisy! Go figure. My VF and Evans and Tate corkscrews still take pride of place here…

@Ape™️…permission to change this? Also, fuck off, in advance.

Fairy muff. But remember, when Xi Jinping tells you to jump…make like a kangaroo with haemorrhoids. Is $170k AUS about £10?

It’s a pity the new craze didn’t sweep into this Carnival of Killable Cunts earlier this week. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-61302738

Thank God this ‘run-away’ attitude wasn’t prevalent during WW2 when we single-handedly defeated the Bosch, etc. No matter how bad it gets here, getting eaten by spiders whilst being sodomised by a reeking Abbo must be far worse? Have you been at the Vasse Felix, Doc?

Not really. Most people can’t be fucking arsed voting…what is the point when you’re choices are (1) get fucked by toffs (2) get fucked by pseudo toffs. The fact is, nothing really ever changes in this system of ours, the country is still run by the same old civil servant cunts. The British ruling classes have always been crafty cunts who know their electorate/population. They’ve historically always dripped a little bit to the masses, just when a possible popular revolt is in the offing. It’s one of the reasons there has never been a real uprising/revolution in this country…ever. We’re generally polite, compliant and non-volatile…in short, malleable and the powers that be have always known and worked it. A full blown revolution with heads on spikes and Eton et al burned to the ground is the only way things will ever change in this country, but it won’t happen. Not while there’s Facebook, Gogglebox and beer. We’re fucked so lube up and have a wank as they slip it up you.

Which suggests it’s a Pen multi.

George Formby was a top shagger too and a talented peeping Tom. Can you do a metal mix of ‘Cleaning Windows’ and post it on here, gents?

I’d watch that if they lez it up, tbh. Then get in a bath of acid together.