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Cap'n Cunt

Emiliano Sala

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Foreign footballist Emiliano Sala has done a bit of a Glenn Miller and disappeared in a small aircraft somewhere between France and Cardiff. Silly French cunts should have launched him into the Channel on a Lidl's rubber dinghy, then our 'Border Force' would have picked him up and ferried him across to Dover once he got twenty yards out from Calais. 

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Was he the sole passenger on the flight?  Did it crash in a higher elevation?  The prospect of footballers turning cannibal for survival seems somewhat fitting for the purposes of discourse on this forum.  Of course, the visual of that scenario will undoubtedly have Punkape in a frothing at the mouth sexual frenzy.  

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Life can be a cunt sometimes,death even more so

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26 minutes ago, Neil said:

Life can be a cunt sometimes,death even more so

RIP those who speak ill of the dead will die in pain and torment. James James - was he on the plane. If only it could have been you Dyson and not a genuinely talented young guy who had everything to look forward to. 

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34 minutes ago, Crab said:

RIP those who speak ill of the dead will die in pain and torment. James James - was he on the plane. If only it could have been you Dyson and not a genuinely talented young guy who had everything to look forward to. 

Well said. You've definitely chosen the right forum to display your delicate feelings, the users here are renowned for their empathy and tolerance. 👍

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17 minutes ago, scotty said:

Well said. You've definitely chosen the right forum to display your delicate feelings, the users here are renowned for their empathy and tolerance. 👍

my wife's got a nob Slotto

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9 minutes ago, ratcum said:

my wife's got a nob Slotto

Has she had it as long as you've known her, or is it just a sudden thing?

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57 minutes ago, ratcum said:

my wife's got a nob Slotto

It's about time you became Norman Wisdom's cock and show this Johnny come lately phallus who's king rat.

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1 hour ago, ratcum said:

my wife's got a nob Slotto

Teach her some manners then, she shouldn't refer to you as a nob. 

Have you seen franks new viagra ad? Even worse than the first one, I despair for him. 

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Fuck me, some rich foreign cunt hires a private plane to get to our wonderful country and ends up floating face down in the Channel!

Meanwhile, every week, dozens of parasites and criminals come across in rubber boats and don’t even get splashed.

Innit fair eh? Innit fucking fair?

Fuck my boots, I never dreamed I would end up talking like Alf Garnett but the world has changed. 

I’m thinking of getting a “Free Nelson Mandela” tattoo. Do you think any cunt will notice it’s brand new? I value your advice.

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1 hour ago, scotty said:

Teach her some manners then, she shouldn't refer to you as a nob. 

Have you seen franks new viagra ad? Even worse than the first one, I despair for him. 

I don't.  I want the cunt dead.  Maybe he'll overdose on it and accelerate into permanent rigor mortis so he can be put into the ground with a sledge hammer and stay driven in.  

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1 hour ago, judgetwi said:

Fuck me, some rich foreign cunt hires a private plane to get to our wonderful country and ends up floating face down in the Channel!

Meanwhile, every week, dozens of parasites and criminals come across in rubber boats and don’t even get splashed.

Innit fair eh? Innit fucking fair?

Fuck my boots, I never dreamed I would end up talking like Alf Garnett but the world has changed. 

I’m thinking of getting a “Free Nelson Mandela” tattoo. Do you think any cunt will notice it’s brand new? I value your advice.

I got a free pop up frog with my Rice Krispies. 

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2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I got a free pop up frog with my Rice Krispies. 

The oldest trick there is, the old cock in a box trick.  Are you shopping in Neil's neighbourhood?  

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6 hours ago, judgetwi said:

I’m thinking of getting a “Free Nelson Mandela” tattoo.

Be wary of any free stuff Judge, you need to pay if you want quality.

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2 hours ago, judgetwi said:

I’ve changed my mind. Stick your advice up your arseholes.

 

I never learn.

Quality comment Judge. 

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Franks joined in the search with his boat stocked with and shit load of rohypnol and a quincycockfingered size tub of fisting butter

 

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11 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said:

The oldest trick there is, the old cock in a box trick.  Are you shopping in Neil's neighbourhood?  

Never been to Jaywick. 

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2 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Franks joined in the search with his boat stocked with and shit load of rohypnol and a quincycockfingered size tub of fisting butter

 

Doesn't take long does it? 

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15 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Fuck me, some rich foreign cunt hires a private plane to get to our wonderful country and ends up floating face down in the Channel!

Meanwhile, every week, dozens of parasites and criminals come across in rubber boats and don’t even get splashed.

Innit fair eh? Innit fucking fair?

Fuck my boots, I never dreamed I would end up talking like Alf Garnett but the world has changed. 

I’m thinking of getting a “Free Nelson Mandela” tattoo. Do you think any cunt will notice it’s brand new? I value your advice.

Your words are luke pure nectar bestowed on a pigsty of filthy swine and me of course! Can you hear 'em oink oinking? Feed them again, they enjoy it. 

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6 minutes ago, Chucks said:

He'll probably be picked up by a trawler, he had no problem finding the net. 

4 minutes ago, Chucks said:

... I heard he also played as a black box to black box midfielder. 

Not the worst debut this week. In fact, not even close.

 

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9 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Not the worst debut this week. In fact, not even close.

 

With those glowing words of disapprobation you might just as well order a pair of cement boots and jump off Hastings Pier (when it reopens) 🦀

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