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Cunts who stand up on planes as soon as the seatbelt sign goes off


camberwell gypsy

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Flying out yesterday to Greece, and as soon the seatbelt light goes off, some fuckers immediately stand up and have conversations with fellow passengers. One such dickhead, spent nearly all the 3 hour flight standing in the aisle leaning on the seat in front of me, chatting to his mate. Passengers needing to use the bog (you notice how many cunts rush to the bog?) have to squeeze past these cunts, as well as blocking the cabin crew and their trolleys. What's wrong with these fucking idiots?  Cabin crew should be allowed to taser these arsehats.

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19 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

You fly to Jaywick Sands? Fuck me Eddie, respect!

Funnily enough, the airfield is on the border of shanty town.

@ratcum, you ever landed at Clacton airfield? Shitty field, wedged between two low rent golf courses, with a 40 year old Portakabin as a 'tower'.

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2 hours ago, Eddie said:

Same as cunts that as soon as the plane has landed are up in the aisle...

I loathe and detest those filthy fucking cunts with every fibre of my being.

It gives me great joy when in row one or thereabouts to remain comfortably in my seat while they bustle about like angry little ants in their desperation to get off. Then, as the door opens and the stewardess opens her mouth to give the "You can now exit the plane" speech, I elbow my way into the aisle and spend as long as humanly possible getting my bag out of the overhead locker and putting my coat on, then check the lockers again on both sides, while the wankers behind me fulminate and tut and curse more loudly with every passing second. One day one of them is going to have a heart attack and die, and when they do I shall bound off the plane at that point, laughing as the rest of the cunts are trapped behind the fat corpse, as the stench of its final involuntary bowel evacuation fills the recycled air. Fuckers that they are!

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We landed once and the pilot gave his final speech ending in "enjoy your stay and thank you for flying BA" but he left the microphone on and subsequently proceeded to tell his mate "I'm busting for a shit so badly and I cant wait to shag the arse of of that new stewardess",on hearing that he'd left the tannoy on the stewardess sprinted from the back of the plane to warn him but fell arse over head when tripping over an old girls bag,the old lady peered over her seat at the prostrate woman and said "there's no rush love, he wants a shit first!"

Fuck off

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56 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Funnily enough, the airfield is on the border of shanty town.

@ratcum, you ever landed at Clacton airfield? Shitty field, wedged between two low rent golf courses, with a 40 year old Portakabin as a 'tower'.

I haven't had the pleasure. I used read a flying rag and was regularly published on the letters page, until I told them they were sad twats for reviewing facilities at airfields. By facilities, I don't mean price of avgas but rather how good their cake and cappuccino was. If I'd wanted to be that pedestrian I'd have taken up bowls. Ex military fields are best as there's more approach routes. Even with cows on them.

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3 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

I loathe and detest those filthy fucking cunts with every fibre of my being.

It gives me great joy when in row one or thereabouts to remain comfortably in my seat while they bustle about like angry little ants in their desperation to get off. Then, as the door opens and the stewardess opens her mouth to give the "You can now exit the plane" speech, I elbow my way into the aisle and spend as long as humanly possible getting my bag out of the overhead locker and putting my coat on, then check the lockers again on both sides, while the wankers behind me fulminate and tut and curse more loudly with every passing second. One day one of them is going to have a heart attack and die, and when they do I shall bound off the plane at that point, laughing as the rest of the cunts are trapped behind the fat corpse, as the stench of its final involuntary bowel evacuation fills the recycled air. Fuckers that they are!

Bit ott. 

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3 hours ago, ratcum said:

I haven't had the pleasure. I used read a flying rag and was regularly published on the letters page, until I told them they were sad twats for reviewing facilities at airfields. By facilities, I don't mean price of avgas but rather how good their cake and cappuccino was. If I'd wanted to be that pedestrian I'd have taken up bowls. Ex military fields are best as there's more approach routes. Even with cows on them.

You fuckin sick fuckin fuck.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
On 03/05/2019 at 11:38, Eric Cuntman said:

I was over Under, and Under was over Dunn.

You were under Oveur and I was over Dunn

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  • 9 months later...
On 03/05/2019 at 16:24, camberwell gypsy said:

Flying out yesterday to Greece, and as soon the seatbelt light goes off, some fuckers immediately stand up and have conversations with fellow passengers. One such dickhead, spent nearly all the 3 hour flight standing in the aisle leaning on the seat in front of me, chatting to his mate. Passengers needing to use the bog (you notice how many cunts rush to the bog?) have to squeeze past these cunts, as well as blocking the cabin crew and their trolleys. What's wrong with these fucking idiots?  Cabin crew should be allowed to taser these arsehats.

I have my own way of dealing with the furtive plane plebeians. A build up to a noisy coughing session, followed by a fumbling search for an inhaler makes the fuckers agitated further. With no place to go, avoiding my spit and intensifying noise gets them into a complete state of a commercial poultry farm and head on trample, but leaves me with plenty of breathing space. Fucking mob. Asthma has its upside. 

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Guest Cunt-End Of The World
On 03/05/2019 at 16:24, camberwell gypsy said:

Flying out yesterday to Greece, and as soon the seatbelt light goes off, some fuckers immediately stand up and have conversations with fellow passengers. One such dickhead, spent nearly all the 3 hour flight standing in the aisle leaning on the seat in front of me, chatting to his mate. Passengers needing to use the bog (you notice how many cunts rush to the bog?) have to squeeze past these cunts, as well as blocking the cabin crew and their trolleys. What's wrong with these fucking idiots?  Cabin crew should be allowed to taser these arsehats.

Your own fucking fault. Greece. Spain. Portugal. Utter cuntling destinations full of 'why don't you serve chips' mongoloid gorilla cunts. Want to avoid flight spastics? Go to places the average lardy fucking douche can't find deep fried spud and daddy's sauce. 

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36 minutes ago, Cunt-End Of The World said:

Your own fucking fault. Greece. Spain. Portugal. Utter cuntling destinations full of 'why don't you serve chips' mongoloid gorilla cunts. Want to avoid flight spastics? Go to places the average lardy fucking douche can't find deep fried spud and daddy's sauce. 

I go to 5* hotels which thankfully none of these peasants can afford. These hotels are off the beaten track, with their own private beach. So the only time I come into contact with the Everlast wearing tossers is on the plane. 

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