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Simon Calder, travel 'expert'


Guest MikeD

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Can't believe this fucker isn't here already. Another cunt with a degree in stating the fucking obvious. Comes out with gems of info such as 'always remember your passport when going abroad.' Thank fuck he's on the ball, can't imagine how we'd manage without the cunt.

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Guest ducunti

Travel expert? More like freeloading cunt who's full of believable bullshit no fuckers interested in. A bit like them money losing bullshit cunts on bargain hunt, I always think the cunts they are buying the stuff off of know far fucking more than they do.

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Then there's that 'go to' chiselling twatter Martin Lewis of moneysavingexpert.com, hyperventilating his way through every interview at the thought of saving a couple of pence a week by 'shopping around for the best deal' (it's always 'shopping around for the best deal' in his joyless, penny-pinching world)

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l

 

Then there's that 'go to' chiselling twatter Martin Lewis of moneysavingexpert.com, hyperventilating his way through every interview at the thought of saving a couple of pence a week by 'shopping around for the best deal' (it's always 'shopping around for the best deal' in his joyless, penny-pinching world)

 .... like the gormless cunts who drive round for 20 miles looking for the cheapest fuel while pissing away twice the 'saving' 

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Guest ducunti

l

 

 .... like the gormless cunts who drive round for 20 miles looking for the cheapest fuel while pissing away twice the 'saving' 

 

Or run out looking for it and spend two hours on the side of the road waiting for the aa.
 

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Guest ducunti

Like the people that spend out 30 quid on the lottery then "win" a tenner.

They can never work out they haven't won anything,instead the lottery just costing them 20 quid,

 

I do it online, then when you win they send an e mail to let you know. The amount of times I've had e mails and rush to open them thinking this is the big one, all to find out its twenty five fucking quid.
 

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  • 9 months later...

With all the flight disruption the BBC have let this cunt off the leash again to give us his usual pearls of wisdom.

"Always check with your airline before flying."

Really? The airline? Well thank fuck you told me as I was going to ask the bloke behind the counter the next time I buy a pint of milk at my local shop. The again, he probably has as much chance of getting it right as you have, you patronising cunt.

 

 

 

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it seems the tv these days is infested with the parade of lisping patronising clever cunt toffs who condescend to spend their time lecturing us oinks on how to shop , cook , travel , tart up houses , look at fucking rabbits in a fucking field , flog off nans china ornaments  etc etc . It can only be a matter of time before some expert in twattery pops up on breakfast tv to tell us the correct way to take a shit and tips on wanking etiquette.

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It can only be a matter of time before some expert in twattery pops up on breakfast tv to tell us the correct way to take a shit and tips on wanking etiquette.

I wrote to them with this very idea but so far no-one has got back to me,still,Richard Arnold is both shit and a wanker so I may have been overlooked for this already employed super cunt!

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Guest Bill Stickers

I wrote to them with this very idea but so far no-one has got back to me,still,Richard Arnold is both shit and a wanker so I may have been overlooked for this already employed super cunt!

Try writing the letter with a biro rather than the end of your penis next time fella?

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Then there's that 'go to' chiselling twatter Martin Lewis of moneysavingexpert.com, hyperventilating his way through every interview at the thought of saving a couple of pence a week by 'shopping around for the best deal' (it's always 'shopping around for the best deal' in his joyless, penny-pinching world)

that cunt deserves his own nom, little pearls of wisdom like 'pay your credit card off, it cost lots more if you just pay the minimum every month', fucking revelation.

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that cunt deserves his own nom, little pearls of wisdom like 'pay your credit card off, it cost lots more if you just pay the minimum every month', fucking revelation.

Fuck me, I remember him now.

A smug bastard who you'd think had discovered the meaning of life every time he'd found out how to save 10 pence with a fucking shopping voucher.

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It seems to me that there are shedloads of knobheads out there who want their fucking cunts kicking in. Too fucking many to name.

I've developed a bit of a soft spot for you, Manky. I just know that we are going to be the best of friends when the leash has been taken off of me.

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I've developed a bit of a soft spot for you, Manky. I just know that we are going to be the best of friends when the leash has been taken off of me.

Ove got a soft spot for you too. It's a fucking deep bog on Saddleworth Moor you strange 12 fingered freak. Fuck all as satisfying as kicking a man, or freak, when he is down.

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Ove got a soft spot for you too. It's a fucking deep bog on Saddleworth Moor you strange 12 fingered freak. Fuck all as satisfying as kicking a man, or freak, when he is down.

Down, but not out my little northern monkey. Not just yet. I'll be keeping a close eye on you, sweetheart.

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This cunt's been on again today. He says that passengers waiting to travel home from Egypt should keep in touch with their airline or tour operator and keep checking the information on departures at the airport.

I know, how the fuck he figured that one out fucking beats me. That's probably why he's an "expert."

 

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Can't believe this fucker isn't here already. Another cunt with a degree in stating the fucking obvious. Comes out with gems of info such as 'always remember your passport when going abroad.' Thank fuck he's on the ball, can't imagine how we'd manage without the cunt.

He looks to sickly and pale to be a travel expert unless all his expertise is gained from sitting in his front lounge or down the pub. He needs to get a bit of colour to be believable, think Judith Chalmers.

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Then there's that 'go to' chiselling twatter Martin Lewis of moneysavingexpert.com, hyperventilating his way through every interview at the thought of saving a couple of pence a week by 'shopping around for the best deal' (it's always 'shopping around for the best deal' in his joyless, penny-pinching world)

Although in my youth I pissed away a lot of money on credit cards, which indeed took fucking years to pay back, I had plenty of fun with them and I still have a lot of happy memories of those crazy days. Having a cunt like Martin Lewis ruining my joy of silly spending at the time would have been fucking awful. Now living in a relative financial stability, with zero credit card balances and having a rather boring and predictable existence, I still wouldn't listen to this tight-fisted voucher king, who would drive any small business to bankruptcy, so that he could save himself some money. An utter cunt.

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This cunt's been on again today. He says that passengers waiting to travel home from Egypt should keep in touch with their airline or tour operator and keep checking the information on departures at the airport.

I know, how the fuck he figured that one out fucking beats me. That's probably why he's an "expert."

 

And we all know that those stranded in Egypt have got nothing better to do than tune into his programme on their mobiles.

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