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Cumming in my grandmother's porridge


Guest Keith Lard

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Guest Keith Lard

I had cummed in my grandmother's porridge. There isn't really a backstory to it. I was at my Grandmother's that weekend as I decided to cum in her porridge whilst she wasn't in the room. Then she came in back the the room (no pun intended) and eat her porridge without notice anything odd of what she put in her mouth. Why did I do that you may ask? Well I just fucking felt like it that day. I could had been going around in town picking up chicks but my mom made me go to my grandmother's. She is a cunt anyway, always moaning at me for not looking for a job and spending all day watching cartoons. I hope she doesn't get pregnant after swallowing my cum.

Edited by BronyKeith
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If only you were born a Thalidomide child, Keith, your life could have been so different. Unable to wank yourself silly whilst posting bollocks on here due to having tiny t-rex arms, you may even had ventured outside, socialised and got a job. Or in a perfect alternate reality, got hit by a fucking bus. 

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Guest Bill Stickers

If only you were born a Thalidomide child, Keith, your life could have been so different. Unable to wank yourself silly whilst posting bollocks on here due to having tiny t-rex arms, you may even had ventured outside, socialised and got a job. Or in a perfect alternate reality, got hit by a fucking bus. 

​It would make me feel better about Keith's evidently squalid existence if the admin could change his username to FliddyKeith. That way we can always think of how much better things could have been for poor Keith.

Edited by bill_stickers
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Guest Bill Stickers

Keith, the medication is obviously starting to work, at least you waited until your grandmother had left the room before jizzing up her porridge, well done you.

​The medicine is never going to be able to raise his basic level of intelligence though, when it comes to comprehending the world around him. The concept of the site is simple Keith. You open a thread about a person, or group of people, who you believe to be a cunt/cunts. The rest of the site then discusses if, why and how these people are cunts.

All you have done here is show that you are a cunt. This has already been demonstrated in every other post you have made on this site, so this entire thread is utterly unnecessary. Please refrain.

What is more interesting are the frames of reference you use when trying to construct a "joke" like this.  In every rambling, bullshit story there is always a grain of truth. This leads me to believe, outside of your online persona, you do actually live with your mother, and she does really force you to go to your grandmother's house, where you probably do masturbate furiously over pictures of her in her younger days.

 

Edited by bill_stickers
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It certainly puts a new slant on the old "salt versus sugar" debate.

PS Does your grandmother live in a little cottage in the woods, by any chance. If so, watch out for bears - those cunts don't take kindly to people who come in their porridge!

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Guest Snatch

You're not being generous enough with available options here, Snatch. I'd like to add to the list an optionary "Kill yourself Keith, post fucking haste"

​Sorry Deci. What was I thinking.

Broney,being hit by mining machinery is another option you might like to think about.

Nail gunning your bulbous arse to the fast lane of the M6 is also another.

 

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Oh you'll get used to him. He's like that whatshisface character in 'Silence of The Lambs' .....Miggs, was it? Sat in his cell glopping off, before flinging the ropey issue at Jodie Foster.

You just hope someone will pull a Hannibal Lecter on him and get him so enervated he masturbates his beastly penis down to a clitoris before choking on his own drool.

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