Guest Bill Stickers Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 (edited) I want to preface this by saying this is not some Punkape-esque rant about people from council houses. This applies to any fucker who pays more for a new car than the deposit on their mortgage.It's all very well and good spending your commute sat in plush leather seats in a brand new BMW or Merc, provided you don't live in a shit house, or in a shit area. Especially if you have a family. Do you really think your wife and two kids appreciate spending their lives cramped in a dilapidated 2 bedroom terraced house while you rag it round in a 2015 Audi?If you do spend more on a car than on getting a nicer house, I hope your car gets keyed by oikish neighbours, or your disgruntled dependents. The only people who should be buying brand new high-end cars are people with so much money, they literally can't think of anything better to spend it on. Edited June 3, 2015 by bill_stickers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 Fuck. I'll have to cancel the order on the new Aston. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 brand new range rover, beans on toast for dinner, roast beans on a sunday 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 brand new range rover, beans on toast for dinner, roast beans on a sundayMmm,I wonder who that could be? New Range Rover. (Allegedly). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 There was a cunt down my way a couple of years ago, who lives in 1950s Airey council house (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airey_house), but he bought a brand new Ford Focus ST-3 (those ones that only come in orange).Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but he probably paid about £25,000 for that. Why he is allowed to continue residing in a council house when he has that kind of money lying around is beyond me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 There was a cunt down my way a couple of years ago, who lives in 1950s Airey council house (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airey_house), but he bought a brand new Ford Focus ST-3 (those ones that only come in orange).Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but he probably paid about £25,000 for that. Why he is allowed to continue residing in a council house when he has that kind of money lying around is beyond me.They don't pay for the cars nowadays bill, they just lease them. He probably started with a fiesta and parlayed it up to the orange one after he'd convinced the dealer he had a credit rating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 On the other hand, using "spare" cash to trade up to a bigger house brings with it a bigger mortgage. When interest rates go up (and they will!) and the cunts from the bank come round to repossess it and your wife leaves you, you'll wish you had a nice fucking car to pull the birds. And to sleep in... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 (edited) Punkape's got a tent and a Bedford Rascal. Without David Dickinson's expert valuation skills I'm struggling to say whether he meets the criteria of the nom yet.N.B. His tent does have a moat, so any valuation would obviously be higher than the initial outlay of £13.99 that he paid at Argos. Edited June 3, 2015 by Decimus Potential selling point originally omitted. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 Funnily enough a pic of some bint and her son standing next to her brand new Merc outside a block of grim Peabody type council flats appeared on my FB feed today. I was thinking the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 Bollocks. I had a choice of new car or new conservatory last year and went for the new car. I work for it, so I'll buy what I fucking want. Fuck the family, they've had the fucking lot for twenty years. Its me time. I might drive it pissed as well just to fuck you all off. And carry a corpse round in the boot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 Bollocks. I had a choice of new car or new conservatory last year and went for the new car. I work for it, so I'll buy what I fucking want. Fuck the family, they've had the fucking lot for twenty years. Its me time. I might drive it pissed as well just to fuck you all off. And carry a corpse round in the boot.Well said Jacko. They're a lot of fucking cunts on here and no mistake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted June 4, 2015 Report Share Posted June 4, 2015 Punkape's got a tent and a Bedford Rascal. Without David Dickinson's expert valuation skills I'm struggling to say whether he meets the criteria of the nom yet.N.B. His tent does have a moat, so any valuation would obviously be higher than the initial outlay of £13.99 that he paid at Argos.He should have gone to aldi. They do a fold out table and two chairs for that price. Oh, and a camping stove for a fiver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted June 4, 2015 Report Share Posted June 4, 2015 I'd just be glad if the incompetent lazy idle grease monkey in a suit at the VW garage hadn't forgot to put my order in for my new car that I signed up for over a fucking month ago. He's supposed to be ringing me back today but I bet the cunt doesn't. As Steve Martin said, "I want a fucking car, a fucking Berwick, a fucking Datsun, a fucking ..... with a fucking steering wheel and four fucking wheels, right fucking now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted June 5, 2015 Report Share Posted June 5, 2015 Or cunts who overreact about the fact they don't like a certain make of car.OKAY, WE GET IT. YOU DON'T LIKE FUCKING FORDS OR WHATEVER, NOW FUCK OFF!!Straight out of the Top Gear school of shallow, boring bastards.Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted June 6, 2015 Report Share Posted June 6, 2015 Bollocks. I had a choice of new car or new conservatory last year and went for the new car. I work for it, so I'll buy what I fucking want. Fuck the family, they've had the fucking lot for twenty years. Its me time. I might drive it pissed as well just to fuck you all off. And carry a corpse round in the boot.It works for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted June 6, 2015 Report Share Posted June 6, 2015 I might drive it pissed as well just to fuck you all off. And carry a corpse round in the boot. I thought that was obligatory in Scotland Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 7, 2015 Report Share Posted June 7, 2015 The middle classes love an estate car. We have them around here, huge fuck off estate car but still have one of those fucking case pods on the roof. I mean what the hell do they put in the back if the cases go in the pod? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted June 7, 2015 Report Share Posted June 7, 2015 I thought that was obligatory in ScotlandI'm a Scot in exile Ted. I'm only a stones through from Deco's manor...council flat......cardboard box or whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted June 7, 2015 Report Share Posted June 7, 2015 I'm a Scot in exile Ted. I'm only a stones through from Deco's manor...council flat......cardboard box or whatever.Filthy beast. Tell them the truth you ghastly covenanter, you've been to my manor and you know full well it's palatial with a swimming pool. Or did I imagine the thousands I had to spend in legal fee's clearing up the mess caused by your whiskey fuelled Barrymoresque dip? You couldn't just flick your ash on the servants like a normal person, you just had to have an ashtray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 Filthy beast. Tell them the truth you ghastly covenanter, you've been to my manor and you know full well it's palatial with a swimming pool. Or did I imagine the thousands I had to spend in legal fee's clearing up the mess caused by your whiskey fuelled Barrymoresque dip? You couldn't just flick your ash on the servants like a normal person, you just had to have an ashtray.Details are still a bit sketchy in my mind. All I remember is a hangover and a sore arse. I think that was the evening at yours. Do you look like a cross between Jimmy Krankie and Graeme Norton ? If not, who is the fucker trying to insert the selfie stick ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 If not, who is the fucker trying to inset the selfie stick ?By selfie sticks, do you mean cunt poles? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 By selfie sticks, do you mean cunt poles?I didn't want to put it so bluntly, but yes. Who else would buy one, but a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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