Decimus Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 I cannot stand this post menopausal fucking dried out husk. How the fuck it ever developed a career in comedy is almost as mysterious as how Jane "look at me I'm fookin' northern" McDonald developed a professional singing career. The success of both of these disgraceful cunts is directly correlated to the fact that there are millions of tasteless twats chortling like fucking imbeciles at You've Been Framed and TV Burp each week. I for one hope that Jenny Éclair forgets her HRT for a month, develops severe osteoarthritis and has every bone in her body shattered whilst being porked by a Metherdrone enraged Phil Jupitus during a one night stand. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 ............and has every bone in her body shattered whilst being porked by a Metherdrone enraged Phil Jupitus during a one night stand.I think you can donwload that DVD... or something.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 I think you can donwload that DVD... or something....They tried to raise some publicity by "leaking it" as a sex tape. Unfortunately, although it was downloaded 6783 times, it was all from the same public WiFi connection in a kebab shop in South London. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 I always get her confused with Janet Street-Porter. I have a recurring nightmare where they're both advancing on me naked and I only have one bullet! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 I always get her confused with Janet Street-Porter. I have a recurring nightmare where they're both advancing on me naked and I only have one bullet!I'd use it on yourself. There's no going back to normality after witnessing such a brutally traumatic event. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 I always get her confused with Janet Street-Porter. I have a recurring nightmare where they're both advancing on me naked and I only have one bullet!Jesus fucking Saville, Baws. I'd be living on a staple of coffee, energy drinks and cocaine if that's what awaits when the sandman gets me each night. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Jesus fucking Saville, Baws. I'd be living on a staple of coffee, energy drinks and cocaine if that's what awaits when the sandman gets me each night.fucking freddie krueger has nightmares about jenny eclair. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 why do i always think she looks as though she smells like salt and vinegar crisps ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 I always get her confused with Janet Street-Porter. I have a recurring nightmare where they're both advancing on me naked and I only have one bullet!Fucking hell, Baws, how awful for you! You're lucky you didn't die in your sleep! Freddy Krueger was an amateur cunt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Oh shit; Ive known Jenny for years so will keep my gob shut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Oh shit; Ive known Jenny for years so will keep my gob shut.Does colonel's assumption ring true? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Incidentally, does anyone else think Jenny Eclair sounds like something that should be on urban dictionary? "I was conkers deep in a prostitute the other week, hanging out the back of her, banging like a spastic with a snare drum. As I reached the vinegar strokes and my toes curled up so I got the jesters shoes on, I pulled out of her arse, span her round, and gave her a Jenny Eclair! Now I'm banned from family funerals." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Oh shit; Ive known Jenny for years so will keep my gob shut.Do the pair of you have filthy lesbian threesomes with your other old mate, Helen Lederer? Just wondering...Incidentally, does anyone else think Jenny Eclair sounds like something that should be on urban dictionary? Her real name is Jenny Hargreaves. Some sick cunt must have told her that "Eclair" was funnier, and she fell for it.On which note, for the Scots out there, "Is that a doughnut, or a meringue?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Does colonel's assumption ring true? Oh shit; Ive known Jenny for years so will keep my gob shut.I always imagined that she smelt similar to a rotting manattee placenta that has been marinated in two week old bombay bad boy pot noodle.Coincedentally, Gyppo, is she as much of a vacuous, unfunny, man hating sea hag in person? I refuse to believe that anyone who comes across as that much of a horrendous fucking cunt could possibly be putting on an act. Be sure to send her my love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Her real name is Jenny Hargreaves. Some sick cunt must have told her that "Eclair" was funnier, and she fell for it.Migraines are funnier. She's a fucking dullard. If she's that gullible, perhaps that same person should convince her that there's a potion out there that makes you funnier too, called potassium cyanide. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 I always get her confused with Janet Street-Porter. I have a recurring nightmare where they're both advancing on me naked and I only have one bullet!Manoeuvre one in front of the other and hope to fuck the bullet goes through both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 She is in the same league as Mel & Sue, Jo Brand, Russel Brand, David Baddiel, and a load of other similar talentless tossers who have jobs in the media because they have friends in the media. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 She is in the same league as Mel & Sue, Jo Brand, Russel Brand, David Baddiel, and a load of other similar talentless tossers who have jobs in the media because they have friends in the media.That safe as houses comedian John Oliver is now fucking huge over in the states, apparently because Ricky Gervais tipped him to TV execs over there, even though the fame-feeding fuckwit has never met him, or apparently even seen much of his material. Obviously a few quid in that somewhere.I've not took the time to watch his US show, but he's had a few appearances on Mock The Week, and the short bursts I've seen of him have been akin to Michael McIntyre without the shaky head and dumb voices. In short: shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 Incidentally, does anyone else think Jenny Eclair sounds like something that should be on urban dictionary? "I was conkers deep in a prostitute the other week, hanging out the back of her, banging like a spastic with a snare drum. As I reached the vinegar strokes and my toes curled up so I got the jesters shoes on, I pulled out of her arse, span her round, and gave her a Jenny Eclair! Now I'm banned from family funerals."Out of likes, nocti! You'd have two for that one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 30, 2015 Report Share Posted July 30, 2015 Usually fucking ugly munters like Jenny excel in their chosen career. Along with Miranda Hart, they are the exception to that rule as I believe they are described as comedians. I feel a female version of 'Wicked' could soon be upon us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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