Ape™️ Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 I'm sure pretty much everyone knows the way traffic lights work at junctions: If the light is red, you wait until it's green and then you move. There's a repeating pattern to it, so you are usually never waiting long. It's pretty fucking straightforward really. Why is it then, that some people seem completely taken by surprise when the lights turn green, and have to fuck around doing things before moving off? Some cunt in front of me today was frantically moving things off his lap, then restarting the engine and grinding the poor gearbox into 1st. For fucks sake pay attention you utter, utter fucking cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 People who do that need to be rammed out of the way. I like making them jump with a long loud blast of air horn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 I'm sure pretty much everyone knows the way traffic lights work at junctions: If the light is red, you wait until it's green and then you move. There's a repeating pattern to it, so you are usually never waiting long. It's pretty fucking straightforward really. Why is it then, that some people seem completely taken by surprise when the lights turn green, and have to fuck around doing things before moving off? Some cunt in front of me today was frantically moving things off his lap, then restarting the engine and grinding the poor gearbox into 1st. For fucks sake pay attention you utter, utter fucking cunts.after they have driven to the supermarket. these same cunts seem to have similar memory retention problems at the supermarket checkouts as well. I wonder what they are thinking in this period just before they make the decision to do something...or is it just a blank white room in their heads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 after they have driven to the supermarket. these same cunts seem to have similar memory retention problems at the supermarket checkouts as well. I wonder what they are thinking in this period just before they make the decision to do something...or is it just a blank white room in their heads. Fuck,I was going to mention these supermarket cunts. You beat me to it. Nocti did a similar think the other day.You cunts stalking the inside of my head or something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 There is one set of lights which is at a major crossroads where you have about one minute to get across when the light goes green. Give it a couple of month and they'll put a camera there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 I'm sure pretty much everyone knows the way traffic lights work at junctions: If the light is red, you wait until it's green and then you move. There's a repeating pattern to it, so you are usually never waiting long. It's pretty fucking straightforward really. Why is it then, that some people seem completely taken by surprise when the lights turn green, and have to fuck around doing things before moving off? Some cunt in front of me today was frantically moving things off his lap, then restarting the engine and grinding the poor gearbox into 1st. For fucks sake pay attention you utter, utter fucking cunts.Wouldn't it be great if cunts like this just forgot to wake up one morning? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 I'm sure pretty much everyone knows the way traffic lights work at junctions: If the light is red, you wait until it's green and then you move. There's a repeating pattern to it, so you are usually never waiting long. It's pretty fucking straightforward really. Why is it then, that some people seem completely taken by surprise when the lights turn green, and have to fuck around doing things before moving off? Some cunt in front of me today was frantically moving things off his lap, then restarting the engine and grinding the poor gearbox into 1st. For fucks sake pay attention you utter, utter fucking cunts.Yes 'the car as adjunct to home or office' syndrome that enables the driver to feel they are able to dick around doing all manner of irrelevant stuff - now a phone call, now applying some hair product, now writing a haiku - instead of concentrating on getting off the starting grid faster than last nights Chicken Phall exiting my chuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 You fucking morons. The lights don't change. I'll try and explain what actually happens, try and keep up. When the traffic is required to stop the green light is switched OFF and the red light is switched ON. When the traffic is required to stop the red light is switched ON and the green light is switched OFF. See cunts, no fucking changing or metamorphing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 8 minutes ago, BRICKTOP said: ...! BRICKTOP!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 You are skating on fucking thin ice my pedigree chums Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 1 hour ago, BRICKTOP said: ...! Bricktop, you elusive cunt, what the fuck is this supposed to mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said: You are skating on fucking thin ice my pedigree chums Personified in this case by a 'orrible cunt. Me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 9 minutes ago, Ape said: Bricktop, you elusive cunt, what the fuck is this supposed to mean? It's to signify the blank white room in his head Apers. I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 28 minutes ago, Snatch said: It's to signify the blank white room in his head Apers. I think. Ah, I see. I think. Whatever it's supposed to mean, that fucking pig farmer needs to up his game and include words in his posts. Fucking cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted December 4, 2015 Report Share Posted December 4, 2015 I was in Morcambe on the day that the traffic lights changed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted December 4, 2015 Report Share Posted December 4, 2015 16 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: You fucking morons. The lights don't change. I'll try and explain what actually happens, try and keep up. When the traffic is required to stop the green light is switched OFF and the red light is switched ON. When the traffic is required to stop the red light is switched ON and the green light is switched OFF. See cunts, no fucking changing or metamorphing. Congratulations on posting the least funny thing ever on this site, you colossal fuckwit. You should genuinely be ashamed of yourself for this. Lock yourself in a small contained space with a disposable BBQ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 4, 2015 Report Share Posted December 4, 2015 1 minute ago, Bill Stickers said: Congratulations on posting the least funny thing ever on this site, you colossal fuckwit. You should genuinely be ashamed of yourself for this. Lock yourself in a small contained space with a disposable BBQ. But how will we know if he's alive or dead? That's the paradox of Schrodinger's Twat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted December 4, 2015 Report Share Posted December 4, 2015 10 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: But how will we know if he's alive or dead? That's the paradox of Schrodinger's Twat. We'll wait an hour, then go in and club his fucking skull with a tire iron. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted December 4, 2015 Report Share Posted December 4, 2015 17 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: You fucking morons. The lights don't change. I'll try and explain what actually happens, try and keep up. When the traffic is required to stop the green light is switched OFF and the red light is switched ON. When the traffic is required to stop the red light is switched ON and the green light is switched OFF. See cunts, no fucking changing or metamorphing. Actually you stupid cunt, that is incorrect, when the traffic is required to stop the amber light is switched on, fucking retard, go kill yourself fucknuckle cunt head shit breath, soppy cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 4, 2015 Report Share Posted December 4, 2015 5 minutes ago, Fatty said: Actually you stupid cunt, that is incorrect, when the traffic is required to stop the amber light is switched on, fucking retard, go kill yourself fucknuckle cunt head shit breath, soppy cunt Eloquent as ever, Fats, I consider this post to be your "my fair lady" moment.You're spot on though, Drew is fucking wetter than a ducks minge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 4, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2015 4 minutes ago, Fatty said: Actually you stupid cunt, that is incorrect, when the traffic is required to stop the amber light is switched on, fucking retard, go kill yourself fucknuckle cunt head shit breath, soppy cunt Your way with words is truly brilliant Fatty, you despicable cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 4, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2015 58 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: We'll wait an hour, then go in and club his fucking skull with a tire iron. That ought to do it. Better safe than sorry I say.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted December 4, 2015 Report Share Posted December 4, 2015 5 hours ago, Bill Stickers said: We'll wait an hour, then go in and club his fucking skull with a tire iron. Why - aye Bill. I always had a sense you were a Northern monkey. Here in civilsed parts of the UK we spell tyre with a 'Y' not an 'i', you fucking moronic disabled toilet stain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted December 4, 2015 Report Share Posted December 4, 2015 2 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: disabled toilet © Idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted December 4, 2015 Report Share Posted December 4, 2015 6 hours ago, Bill Stickers said: Congratulations on posting the least funny thing ever on this site, you colossal fuckwit. You should genuinely be ashamed of yourself for this. Lock yourself in a small contained space with a disposable BBQ. Done that and I feel perfectly fine. Did you mean for me to ignite the barbecue? If yes, than you should be more precise with your instruction you. This level of ineptitude leads me to conclude that you will now be referred to as 'Mr Roops' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.