Guest Bill Stickers Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 A woman at work has a different life threatening disease every other week. And if it's not her who's developed cancer or a brain tumour, she's convinced her young daughter has contracted meningitis, ebola or the black death.She never seems to learn from her mistakes, despite regularly being forced into humiliating climb-downs when it invariably turns out she isn't in need of major surgery. She is a truly neurotic spacker of the uptmost severity, but I know several of these thoroughly wet human beings.It has absolutely blown her mind all this week that I have not gone to the doctor despite having a minor chesty cough. She simply cannot fathom why I wouldn't want to take a day off work, to go and waste mine and my GP's time in order to obtain exactly the same medicine I could get from the pharmacy.She goes to the doctor more times in a month than I go in a decade, and I think to shut her up and get shot of her, they are now prescribing her antibiotics willy nilly. She is the fucking reason everyone is contracting superbugs in this country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 And on the other end of the spectrum, you have cunts who pay absolutely no heed to their health and end up costing the NHS millions of pounds in later life. There is a grotesque creature at my work, that's allegedly human and dubiously female. I have never encountered another human being as morbidly and disgustingly obese as her, she is positively fucking planetary in her proportions. Diabetes, kidney stones, gout, arthritis, you name it, she's got it and it's all self inflicted. I once walked into the office to see her eating the biggest sausage roll I've ever laid eyes on. I shit you not, it was over a foot long and thicker than my arm. As her neck and chin fat is so abundant, her head is tilted back as she can't lower it down further due to fat obstruction. Because of the position of her head, and her crippling asthma, she was wheezing and spluttering whilst forcing the thing down her stupid fat fucking gob. Pastry was flying all over the place like bullets as she shamelessly devoured the entire fucking thing. Disgraceful cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 Ah but Decimus, the woman is question at my workplace is also a fat beast. She can best be described as a fucking behemoth of a woman. She is so large she makes Gemma Collins look like a critically acclaimed fitness instructor for fucks sake.She never attributes her various chest pains, apparent heart murmurs, general lethargy and mental imbalances to her weight though, it always has to be some far fetched tropical disease. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 And on the other end of the spectrum, you have cunts who pay absolutely no heed to their health and end up costing the NHS millions of pounds in later life. There is a grotesque creature at my work, that's allegedly human and dubiously female. I have never encountered another human being as morbidly and disgustingly obese as her, she is positively fucking planetary in her proportions. Diabetes, kidney stones, gout, arthritis, you name it, she's got it and it's all self inflicted. I once walked into the office to see her eating the biggest sausage roll I've ever laid eyes on. I shit you not, it was over a foot long and thicker than my arm. As her neck and chin fat is so abundant, her head is tilted back as she can't lower it down further due to fat obstruction. Because of the position of her head, and her crippling asthma, she was wheezing and spluttering whilst forcing the thing down her stupid fat fucking gob. Pastry was flying all over the place like bullets as she shamelessly devoured the entire fucking thing. Disgraceful cunt.sounds like a keeper ! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 A woman at work has a different life threatening disease every other week. And if it's not her who's developed cancer or a brain tumour, she's convinced her young daughter has contracted meningitis, ebola or the black death.She never seems to learn from her mistakes, despite regularly being forced into humiliating climb-downs when it invariably turns out she isn't in need of major surgery. She is a truly neurotic spacker of the uptmost severity, but I know several of these thoroughly wet human beings.It has absolutely blown her mind all this week that I have not gone to the doctor despite having a minor chesty cough. She simply cannot fathom why I wouldn't want to take a day off work, to go and waste mine and my GP's time in order to obtain exactly the same medicine I could get from the pharmacy.She goes to the doctor more times in a month than I go in a decade, and I think to shut her up and get shot of her, they are now prescribing her antibiotics willy nilly. She is the fucking reason everyone is contracting superbugs in this country. When I was in primary care we had patients like this. We used to fuck them off and they'd present at A&E. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 sounds like a keeper !I never said I wouldn't fuck it, Edders. I've got my eye on wooing it at the Christmas party with a selection of melton mowbray pork pies and a Pedigree chum dentastix. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 the internet is to blame ... these fucks spend most of their waking hours scouring for every conceivable symptom and self diagnosis for everything from a pimple on their arse , this months trending allergy or little johnnies obsessive compulsive twattery ... and most of the time the "advice" is posted by like minded bell ends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 Bill- fuckinging Spackers. I keep my body temple like to avoid ailments by cycling. Did I tell you I have a bike? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 Bill- fuckinging Spackers. I keep my body temple like to avoid ailments by cycling. Did I tell you I have a bike?I have a bike too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 Ffs, whatever happened to boiling down a nom to essential information? If I wanted to read War and Peace, I wouldn't do it here. Get it sorted, lads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 (edited) Bill- fuckinging Spackers. I keep my body temple like to avoid ailments by cycling. Did I tell you I have a bike?I'm afraid any legitimate humour in that post was nullified by your use of the word "fuckinging" If there was any ambiguity as to whether you are a complete and utter dullard, you've just cleared it up. I sincerely hope you are desolated by a large truck on a country lane somewhere. Edited October 22, 2015 by bill_stickers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 Ffs, whatever happened to boiling down a nom to essential information? If I wanted to read War and Peace, I wouldn't do it here. Get it sorted, lads. I don't know, there is often a need for a bit of "artistic" licence on here to get a point well and truly across to some of the lesser brained that are sometimes reading (insert name of person here). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 Ffs, whatever happened to boiling down a nom to essential information? If I wanted to read War and Peace, I wouldn't do it here. Get it sorted, lads. The title was probably a giveaway that this was going to be a little more convoluted than the usual offerings of our one-line merchants like Frank.However, I'm not here for a literary 101 course. If you don't like it, you can always fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 sounds like a keeper !Just wait until she self-diagnoses with nymphomania and then fill yer boots! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 Just wait until she self-diagnoses with nymphomania and then fill yer boots!I'd rather rub my unprotected bellend up and down that brick wall for a couple of hours than have 2 minutes penetrating that monstrosity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 I'd rather rub my unprotected bellend up and down that brick wall for a couple of hours than have 2 minutes penetrating that monstrosity.Jeezus H motherfucking christ you would need a cock the size of a blue whale's to find its way through that lot! Fuck! That's me put off my gruel tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 I'd rather rub my unprotected bellend up and down that brick wall for a couple of hours than have 2 minutes penetrating that monstrosity.I'm not sure I'd last 2 minutes, I'm on a hair-trigger already! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 Jeez, you need a cock the size of a blue whale's to find its way through that lot! Fuck! That's me put off my gruel tonight.I'd wager most of her boyfriends inadvertently fucked a creased fold for the duration of their relationship, and neither of them were any the wiser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 I'm not sure I'd last 2 minutes, I'm on a hair-trigger already!I've duly considered what you've said, and come to the conclusion that you are an utterly disgusting cunt with almost no redeeming qualities.Do you want to be the best man at my wedding? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 Just wait until she self-diagnoses with nymphomania and then fill yer boots!looks like judge has done a 'kelly maloney' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 If you don't like it, you can always fuck off.I think you may have just inadvertently come up with a highly appropriate motto for CC there 'stickers....... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 Just wait until she self-diagnoses with nymphomania and then fill yer boots!if only she'd have bought it in black,every girl knows black is more slimming 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 (edited) A woman at work has a different life threatening disease every other week. And if it's not her who's developed cancer or a brain tumour, she's convinced her young daughter has contracted meningitis, ebola or the black death.She never seems to learn from her mistakes, despite regularly being forced into humiliating climb-downs when it invariably turns out she isn't in need of major surgery. She is a truly neurotic spacker of the uptmost severity, but I know several of these thoroughly wet human beings.It has absolutely blown her mind all this week that I have not gone to the doctor despite having a minor chesty cough. She simply cannot fathom why I wouldn't want to take a day off work, to go and waste mine and my GP's time in order to obtain exactly the same medicine I could get from the pharmacy.She goes to the doctor more times in a month than I go in a decade, and I think to shut her up and get shot of her, they are now prescribing her antibiotics willy nilly. She is the fucking reason everyone is contracting superbugs in this country. Bollocks. That women doesn't actually exist does she you bullshitting cunt? Edited October 22, 2015 by Gong Farmer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 Ffs, whatever happened to boiling down a nom to essential information? If I wanted to read War and Peace, I wouldn't do it here. Get it sorted, lads. I wrote a precis for you. "Sticks and Decs hate fat cunts who think they're ill and spit sausage rolls everywhere". How's that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 I never said I wouldn't fuck it, Edders. I've got my eye on wooing it at the Christmas party with a selection of melton mowbray pork pies and a Pedigree chum dentastix.I hope you've got the super-strength air freshener ready to go as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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