Neil Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 This is what the story said:- She found a cocoon of spider eggs on the banana, so went online to investigate. What she discovered inspired panic: they were the eggs of the Brazilian Wandering spider, which is the most venomous spider in the world and can kill within two hours. The spider can kill with a single bite, and has an unusual side effect of giving men a painful erection that can last for four hours. Mrs N has just ordered me a fucking crateful in the hope that the four hour side effect comes before the 2 hour one!....fucking bitch! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 I would rather take a big bag of them home with me than bump into that antipodean fuckwit that haunts the fucking place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Normally I'd post a picture of Kerry Katona's tits at this juncture - that would get rid of any lingering erections tout fucking suite. However, I'm fucked if I know what's allowed and what isn't any more so better not... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Oh fuck it, it's only little! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 7 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Oh fuck it, it's only little! Rather get a tit wank off Fatty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gurt Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Glad it wasn't a picture of her prawn ring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 8 minutes ago, Gurt said: Glad it wasn't a picture of her prawn ring. You filthy dirty cunt , I'm eating here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 When Mrs. D tries to stuff her stupid fucking face with my popcorn at the cinema, she often finds a suprise in the form of my cock sticking through the bottom of the box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 3 minutes ago, Decimus said: When Mrs. D tries to stuff her stupid fucking face with my popcorn at the cinema, she often finds a suprise in the form of my cock sticking through the bottom of the box. does she ever complain that they are too salty? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Oh fuck it, it's only little! She's looking better than she did a while back in that photo... I know that's not saying much, but hey.. this is the nice new Me..!! 58 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: You filthy dirty cunt , I'm eating here. You were eating.... were 6 minutes ago, Decimus said: When Mrs. D tries to stuff her stupid fucking face with my popcorn at the cinema, she often finds a suprise in the form of my cock sticking through the bottom of the box. What's the surpise? That she found it or that you manged to get it to show through 0.25mm of waxed card? 3 hours ago, neil298 said: This is what the story said:- She found a cocoon of spider eggs on the banana, so went online to investigate. What she discovered inspired panic: they were the eggs of the Brazilian Wandering spider, which is the most venomous spider in the world and can kill within two hours. The spider can kill with a single bite, and has an unusual side effect of giving men a painful erection that can last for four hours. Mrs N has just ordered me a fucking crateful in the hope that the four hour side effect comes before the 2 hour one!....fucking bitch! True Story : I opened a box of bananas when I was a kid working in the local supermarket, this fucking huge hairy spider bigger than my hand jumped up and ran across the shed flat out... It was, however, not as fucking fast as I was... not by a long fucking shot... Hussein fucking who Bolt? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 2 hours ago, DingTheDoggie!! said: You were eating.... were True Story : I read it 3 hours after he posted , that made it present tense you fucking smart arse cunt. True story ? , bollocks . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 21 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: I read it 3 hours after he posted , that made it present tense you fucking smart arse cunt. True story ? , bollocks . I read it when he posted it. My mrs was eating then and she's still eating now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 4 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Oh fuck it, it's only little! If you say so. But what about the photo? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 1 hour ago, witheredscrote said: I read it 3 hours after he posted , that made it present tense you fucking smart arse cunt. True story ? , bollocks . *whoosh* I meant you were probably puking..... 1 hour ago, scotty said: I read it when he posted it. My mrs was eating then and she's still eating now. I still am.... mini pork pies atm... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 28 minutes ago, DingTheDoggie!! said: mini pork pies atm... Is that "at the moment", or "ass to mouth"? When it comes to mini pork pies that's not something you want to be ambiguous about! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Anyway what is this bollocks about Iceland bananas. Can they grow them there ?. Now Guadeloupe bananas are really good (atm) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 51 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Is that "at the moment", or "ass to mouth"? When it comes to mini pork pies that's not something you want to be ambiguous about! That's very much up to the individual pie eater... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gurt Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said: Is that "at the moment", or "ass to mouth"? When it comes to mini pork pies that's not something you want to be ambiguous about! Excellent baws! I just shat a pasty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 19 minutes ago, Gurt said: Excellent baws! I just shat a pasty Veggie, Curried Chicken or Corned Beef n Onion..?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said: Is that "at the moment", or "ass to mouth"? When it comes to mini pork pies that's not something you want to be ambiguous about! sicki alert... ⚠ "oh God!" I groaned, "I can't stop it, I'm going to explode...." "Do it on my tits" she gasped. "Are you sure?" I said. "Yes," she replied. And the moral is, if you've got diarrhoea it's best to be specific. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Curried veggie pasty then.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gurt Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 6 minutes ago, DingTheDoggie!! said: Veggie, Curried Chicken or Corned Beef n Onion..?? It could have been a spunk filled Jonny..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 9 hours ago, Gurt said: It could have been a spunk filled Jonny..... Scotty and safe sex..?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 22 hours ago, Decimus said: When Mrs. D tries to stuff her stupid fucking face with my popcorn at the cinema, she often finds a suprise in the form of my cock sticking through the bottom of the box. How generous of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 22 hours ago, Decimus said: When Mrs. D tries to stuff her stupid fucking face with my popcorn at the cinema, she often finds a suprise in the form of my cock sticking through the bottom of the box. And they say romance is dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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