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Priority Boarders


Guest Bill Stickers

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8 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

Soz, Darling. Next time we're on the same flight to the Costa del Cunt I absolutely promise to try and keep my strides on. 

PS. Thanks for biting little Olly. The swelling made him look almost average size.

You're getting me mixed up with someone else. I've never been to any Costa. 

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Guest Ollyboro
6 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

You're getting me mixed up with someone else. I've never been to any Costa. 

So who was that bloke with the earring who bit my cock?

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3 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

So who was that bloke with the earring who bit my cock?

I desperately want you to be funny, olly. You appear to have some sort of potential, but your awful timing and dismal attempts at humour has an early 90's feel about it. 

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Guest Ollyboro
7 minutes ago, Frank said:

I desperately want you to be funny, olly. You appear to have some sort of potential, but your awful timing and dismal attempts at humour has an early 90's feel about it. 

For you, of all people, to not recognise my painfully obvious comedic  references to Menander disappoints me, Frank. Your attempts at criticism are horribly reminiscent of Kenneth Tynan's corpse.

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Guest Ollyboro
23 minutes ago, Bubbles said:

Judge, en route to The Rainbow Club, Canada branch. 

Where is the whining old poof? I keep goading  the cunt, but to no avail. I can only assume he's dead, or top-up phone card privileges have been suspended on D-wing.

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Guest Ollyboro
6 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Can a joke be carbon dated?

There is a fossilised cock in Amsterdam's sex museum. Every time I see it I think of Frank. Not for long mind. I'm usually too entranced by the early 20th century films of Chaplinesque blokes fucking startlingly ugly birds in fast forward. Oh, and the black and white photo of a geezer stood on a bucket, sack deep in a goat. (Spotter? - The fucker, not the goat).

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2 hours ago, Ollyboro said:

There is a fossilised cock in Amsterdam's sex museum. Every time I see it I think of Frank. Not for long mind. I'm usually too entranced by the early 20th century films of Chaplinesque blokes fucking startlingly ugly birds in fast forward. Oh, and the black and white photo of a geezer stood on a bucket, sack deep in a goat. (Spotter? - The fucker, not the goat).

A man has to have a hobby.

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Guest Ollyboro
4 minutes ago, cuntspotter said:

A man has to have a hobby.

Agreed. But should he be allowed to force his hobby on others? Legal precedent was set in the case of Regina vs Sutcliffe. The prosecution successfully argued that Pete's hobby of killing prostitutes was an infringement of their civil liberties. Welsh law could be different.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
6 hours ago, Ape said:

If ever you wonder why you attract so many negative remarks from other members, have a look back at this comment. Stupid prick.

The only mystery is for a dullard like you and similar cerebrally stunted morons such as Bill, Luke and bubbly, who claim they can't be bothered to read most of my posts, you still find time in those oh so busy days of yours, to stalk me, read every post and make some buffoonish little remark then act as though you speak for all when absolutely nobody cares about you or anything you have to say. If irrelevant had a name and face, you lot would be synonymous. That means one and the same you unbelievably dense fucking cretin. 

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
5 hours ago, Frank said:

I fucking hate wiz more than most, but he's not wrong on this occasion. Priority boarders might want to sit in a certain part of the plane because they fear flying. Others want to avoid queues at passport control on arrival, or the car hire desk. Some airlines will put your hand luggage in the hold once the overhead lockers are full.. delaying you at the other end while you wait at the carousel. 

You haven't thought this through, Bill. 

Bill, allow me to sort this out.

Frank. Fuck sakes.While you are correct on legroom, which is an intolerable cunt on certain airlines for more than an hour duration, unfortunately this response has not been at all thought through; indeed, it has sauntered whistling into the realm of sheer idiocy.

There are always about 40 priority boarders, possibly within that a Mr T case or two, a couple of lanky cunts, who, by the way, may well have selected seats- which is not the same as, and exclusive to priority boarding, so I am afraid it is you who are the fucking cunt, and must feel very silly for it.

I shall not linger over your subsequent points as your graph here has spiked immediately into shite, so strongly correlated that any other correct sounding point should be considered a outlier. We can go further and suppose - predict even- that anything you say in future must be fucking total bollocks.

I cannot say I take any pleasure in this, and only feel disappointment, plus a slight disgust that you've really not given a fuck to bother about these important matters here, and let all these good folk down. What a slovenly, lazy piece of fucking scum.

 

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
6 hours ago, Manky said:

Do they charge the pilot more because he has the best view?

Manky, what was the thinking behind this? 

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
5 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

The worse ones are the twats who get up and start queueing as soon as the gate opens. The wily foxes amongst us sit back and relax and wait till the queue disappears and then calmly stroll on to the plane after all the fuckwits have finished their sweaty scramble for their seats and overhead lockers.  

The worst ones are kids on a plane, specifically - my fucking kids.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
4 hours ago, Frank said:

I desperately want you to be funny, olly. You appear to have some sort of potential, but your awful timing and dismal attempts at humour has an early 90's feel about it. 

I'd like him to suddenly release all his potential energy. In a big red smudge under a high bridge. He's a fucking backward cunt and no mistake.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
8 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

The worst ones are kids on a plane, specifically - my fucking kids.

Drop the little cunts at the mother in laws and have a proper holiday. 

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
4 hours ago, deebom said:

I fucking hate planes and airports so I avoid them.

What are you more phobic about?

1/ after a terrible screeching hull rupture, being sucked naked out a rent and falling forever through freezing air hoarsely screaming and screaming ?

2/ after a great violent rattling, bags flying around and everyone caterwauling in an awful final chorus, the airplane disintegrating around your seat and everything burning up around you with your hair on fire?

3/ the plane suddenly losing all thrust and lurching sickeningly downward , warning alarms blaring frantically, oxygen masks deploying pointlessly in your screaming faces, the woman beside you clawing your arm and squealing on your ear as the plane twats into the turf like a fucking dart, instantly concertinaing everyone into a horrid mush of metal and smashed faces- just like you stuffed a dozen frogs into a coke tin and hit it with a fairground mallet?

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Guest Wizardsleeve
2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Yeah you're right. They're just children. Drop them over Germany.

That's more like it, turn them into hansel and gretel sour strudel. 

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
15 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Drop the little cunts at the mother in laws and have a proper holiday. 

The inlaws are fucking useless. The mother in law was ok but has taken the big holiday in hades, and the father in law and his missus are such a prissy droning pompous pair of cunt that my 5 year old has clocked this a year ago and couldn't stick the boring cunts for a week , no way.

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