Jake The Muss Posted August 17, 2022 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 2 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: So Bazball, the great revolutionary project, lasted about a month then. The Proteas’ strike bowlers made England look fucking stupid. Saved by the rain, but unless Grandad Jimmy and Headband Stu can mount a rescue mission, this Test is lost already in two sessions. Bring back The Chef. You sound like apple, please don't say you miss your tradesman days...but i stopped watching this when it was 100/5. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted August 17, 2022 Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 3 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said: You sound like apple, please don't say you miss your tradesman days...but i stopped watching this when it was 100/5. I wonder what happened to @applescruff14? As for the Test, stopping at 100/5 is wise unless you’re into masochism. I’d tune back in on Monday. The 9th of January. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 17, 2022 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 3 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: I wonder what happened to @applescruff14? As for the Test, stopping at 100/5 is wise unless you’re into masochism. I’d tune back in on Monday. The 9th of January. It all depends on how England's oldest swingers in town bowl but England have had a knack of chasing challenging targets in recent tests...so all not lost just yet. Really need to be near at least 200 in this first innings. Crawley is beyond useless as an opening test batter. One match winning innings in 47 attempts (piss poor). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted August 17, 2022 Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 11 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said: It all depends on how England's oldest swingers in town bowl but England have had a knack of chasing challenging targets in recent tests...so all not lost just yet. Really need to be near at least 200 in this first innings. Crawley is beyond useless as an opening test batter. One match winning innings in 47 attempts (piss poor). The hope is strong in you….I’m afraid England will get skittled when play resumes, and Elgar would be not far off if he asked if he can enforce the follow-on without even batting. Poor. Pray for snow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted August 17, 2022 Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 32 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said: It all depends on how England's oldest swingers in town bowl but England have had a knack of chasing challenging targets in recent tests...so all not lost just yet. Really need to be near at least 200 in this first innings. Crawley is beyond useless as an opening test batter. One match winning innings in 47 attempts (piss poor). That's going to be a challenge in this test, given that they're batting first, 7s. It's not looking good in this test, but I'm not giving up on England's new philosophy just yet, @Last Cunt Standing. New Zealand have a good Test team and it paid dividends then. Even if they lose this test or series there is an upside because it makes Test cricket more appealing to the masses. I've nothing against a tense 5 day draw and 60 runs per session when the going is tough, but commercially speaking it still has to compete against T20 and The Hundred. Not too long ago I genuinely feared that test cricket was doomed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 17, 2022 Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 56 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: So Bazball, the great revolutionary project, lasted about a month then. The Proteas’ strike bowlers made England look fucking stupid. Saved by the rain, but unless Grandad Jimmy and Headband Stu can mount a rescue mission, this Test is lost already in two sessions. Bring back The Chef. This has draw written all over it. The SA batting is as brittle has uncooked spaghetti. They'll be lucky to get a substantial lead. England's second innings will be much improved and will set SA a target of around 270. By that time the weather will have shortened play so a draw is most likely. You're welcome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted August 17, 2022 Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said: This has draw written all over it. The SA batting is as brittle has uncooked spaghetti. They'll be lucky to get a substantial lead. England's second innings will be much improved and will set SA a target of around 270. By that time the weather will have shortened play so a draw is most likely. You're welcome So your assessment is that the team batting first is getting skittled, their opposition has a brittle batting line up, but this is going to be a draw? The weather forecast really ain't that bad. Want to put a grand on that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 17, 2022 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 22 minutes ago, Goober said: That's going to be a challenge in this test, given that they're batting first, 7s. It's not looking good in this test, but I'm not giving up on England's new philosophy just yet, @Last Cunt Standing. New Zealand have a good Test team and it paid dividends then. Even if they lose this test or series there is an upside because it makes Test cricket more appealing to the masses. I've nothing against a tense 5 day draw and 60 runs per session when the going is tough, but commercially speaking it still has to compete against T20 and The Hundred. Not too long ago I genuinely feared that test cricket was doomed. Well yeah, batting first could be problematic in a run chase, just making a reference to what they have done in recent tests, shows they do have some fight in them and i don't think SA's batting is that much better. If SA have around 200 to chase, then i reckon they could struggle. Like you say, test cricket is still alive and well and for me, the best format. I miss my tradesman days. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 17, 2022 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 40 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: The hope is strong in you….I’m afraid England will get skittled when play resumes, and Elgar would be not far off if he asked if he can enforce the follow-on without even batting. Poor. Pray for snow. I think John Snow is past it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted August 17, 2022 Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 9 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said: I think John Snow is past it. Winter is coming, mind. Think of the gas bill. It’s Krishnan Guru-Murthy now anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 17, 2022 Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 27 minutes ago, Goober said: So your assessment is that the team batting first is getting skittled, their opposition has a brittle batting line up, but this is going to be a draw? The weather forecast really ain't that bad. Want to put a grand on that? Thursday: not bad, Friday rain, Saturday not bad, Sunday rain. Be surprised if we get a result. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted August 17, 2022 Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 11 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Thursday: not bad, Friday rain, Saturday not bad, Sunday rain. Be surprised if we get a result. You're clearly looking at a very different weather forecast to me. If there's not a result in this test I'll eat my own underpants after wearing them for a week in 30 degree temperatures. If there is you can chow down. Want to take that bet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 17, 2022 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 20 minutes ago, Goober said: You're clearly looking at a very different weather forecast to me. If there's not a result in this test I'll eat my own underpants after wearing them for a week in 30 degree temperatures. If there is you can chow down. Want to take that bet? I will take you up on your bet Gobs, a grand that England don't lose this, if you win, then we can force feed Spunkape to eat your underpants..deal ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted August 17, 2022 Report Share Posted August 17, 2022 1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said: The hope is strong in you….I’m afraid England will get skittled when play resumes, and Elgar would be not far off if he asked if he can enforce the follow-on without even batting. Poor. Pray for snow. Whilst that's not possible it's acceptable to declare on 0 for 0. It's happened once before, but that match was rather tainted by Hansie Cronje and wads of cash in brown envelopes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted August 18, 2022 Report Share Posted August 18, 2022 4 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said: I will take you up on your bet Gobs, a grand that England don't lose this, if you win, then we can force feed Spunkape to eat your underpants..deal ? That wasn't the bet. CG was suggesting there would not be a positive result and the match would be drawn. Regardless, the current lone resident of HMP Cunts Corner wouldn't need to be force fed any man's underpants. He'd wolf them down and the more skids the better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted August 18, 2022 Report Share Posted August 18, 2022 11 hours ago, Goober said: That's going to be a challenge in this test, given that they're batting first, 7s. It's not looking good in this test, but I'm not giving up on England's new philosophy just yet, @Last Cunt Standing. New Zealand have a good Test team and it paid dividends then. Even if they lose this test or series there is an upside because it makes Test cricket more appealing to the masses. I've nothing against a tense 5 day draw and 60 runs per session when the going is tough, but commercially speaking it still has to compete against T20 and The Hundred. Not too long ago I genuinely feared that test cricket was doomed. I too feared for the future of test cricket, as for me it’s still the purest format. I liken it to the rise of quartz watches compared to mechanical. Early days were trouble for the mechanicals, what with the new cheap accurate quartz threatening to put old school watchmakers out of business. They took an early hit, but now there are more watchmakers than ever. Sometimes the old ways are the best ways. Clumsily put analogy, but you get the point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 18, 2022 Report Share Posted August 18, 2022 8 hours ago, southerncunt said: I too feared for the future of test cricket, as for me it’s still the purest format. I liken it to the rise of quartz watches compared to mechanical. Early days were trouble for the mechanicals, what with the new cheap accurate quartz threatening to put old school watchmakers out of business. They took an early hit, but now there are more watchmakers than ever. Sometimes the old ways are the best ways. Clumsily put analogy, but you get the point. Is this a wind up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted August 19, 2022 Report Share Posted August 19, 2022 On 18/08/2022 at 07:14, camberwell gypsy said: Thursday: not bad, Friday rain, Saturday not bad, Sunday rain. Be surprised if we get a result. Where’s this fucking rain you promised us? It’s 52-2 as I write and I reckon it’ll be done before lunch tomorrow. The Long Room looks to have given their verdict on this shit already. Lots of newspapers at full mast, and snoring fat blokes sleeping off their trifle. Not so much a breathless hush in the close tonight. Henry Newboult was a Cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted August 19, 2022 Report Share Posted August 19, 2022 53 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Where’s this fucking rain you promised us? It’s 52-2 as I write and I reckon it’ll be done before lunch tomorrow. The Long Room looks to have given their verdict on this shit already. Lots of newspapers at full mast, and snoring fat blokes sleeping off their trifle. Not so much a breathless hush in the close tonight. Henry Newboult was a Cunt. tea today? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted August 19, 2022 Report Share Posted August 19, 2022 6 minutes ago, Neil said: tea today? How many fucking chances does Zak Crawley get? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted August 19, 2022 Report Share Posted August 19, 2022 3 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Where’s this fucking rain you promised us? It’s 52-2 as I write and I reckon it’ll be done before lunch tomorrow. The Long Room looks to have given their verdict on this shit already. Lots of newspapers at full mast, and snoring fat blokes sleeping off their trifle. Not so much a breathless hush in the close tonight. Henry Newboult was a Cunt. The gypsy clairvoyance association is going to rescind her membership and send a courier to collect her crystal ball after that prediction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 20, 2022 Report Share Posted August 20, 2022 On 19/08/2022 at 15:53, Goober said: The gypsy clairvoyance association is going to rescind her membership and send a courier to collect her crystal ball after that prediction. Fucking cheap Chinese shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 20, 2022 Report Share Posted August 20, 2022 On 19/08/2022 at 14:02, Last Cunt Standing said: Where’s this fucking rain you promised us? It’s 52-2 as I write and I reckon it’ll be done before lunch tomorrow. The Long Room looks to have given their verdict on this shit already. Lots of newspapers at full mast, and snoring fat blokes sleeping off their trifle. Not so much a breathless hush in the close tonight. Henry Newboult was a Cunt. I asked my native American friend Bob 'Dances with Pigs' Hodges to do a rain dance. Fat cunt's useless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 20, 2022 Report Share Posted August 20, 2022 3 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Fucking cheap Chinese shit. I don’t buy anything Chinese. All my stuff says: ‘Made In PRC’. Which is the best type of plastic you can get. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 20, 2022 Report Share Posted August 20, 2022 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I don’t buy anything Chinese. All my stuff says: ‘Made In PRC’. Which is the best type of plastic you can get. Fuck knows what the cunts are going to do when they run out of Uygers to melt down into plastic. I suppose we’ll all have to get used to everything being ‘only available in black’. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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