Utilities cunts

[colonelkurtz]

The news this morning 

"Energy firms have been ordered to refund thousands of gas customers affected by a meter reading mistake.
The error - caused by companies confusing measurements from older imperial meters with modern metric ones - is believed to have affected several thousand households".

 

Oh Really ! ... you utilties cunts actually expect us to believe that one ! What about you're multi million pound systems,cute adverts and not to mention six and seven figure salaried management of companies whose core business is basically energy supply and costing , are seriously telling us that you cannot distinguish between Imperial and Metric unit readings.Pull the other one you deceitful twats.To think it used to be second hand car dealers or dodgy watches from a suitcase on the high street.Now it's smug suits safe in the knowledge that fuck all , apart from a telling off and a fine equivalent to a weeks worth of lunch expense claims will come of it. What's the betting they blame the poor sods who have to schlepp round the streets taking meter readings.

 

 

 

[Jiggerycock]

Cue punkape crapping on about only buying his electricity from Fortnum and Mason's, where it is generated by the friction from clean-nobbed heterosexual coitus between two, otherwise saintly, Catholics,

[Guest DingTheRioja]

Npower used to supply the house I bought years ago, the useless cunts never came out and did meter readings and when I rang up to give them it was "don't worry, our Professional Meter Readers will come out and do it for you"... they didn't do a reading for 9 months, so when I swapped suppliers and got the Final Bill it was double what it should have been so I complained and pointed out the readings I had given them, with proof. They changed the bill for those readings, they then came back with a new bill about £2 less than the original, apparently "because I used so little energy, my price per unit changed mid-contract"... to which I said fuck off or else, revise the bill or don't get paid.

Still not paid them 10 years later.  Almost all my old rentals were with them when I bought them, I'm sure the agents used to get kickbacks to change properties over to them, so I moved every single one from Npower as soon as I owned the property and gave my agent written instructions to never use Npower. 

Thieving lying fuckbags the lot of them, moving the goalposts was SOP, and some cunts let them get away with it.

[PANZER MURPHY]

I'd be a lazy consumer I just get a bill and Pay it ...must start reading them 

Panzerknacker 

[Cuntybaws]

3 hours ago, colonelkurtz said:

...are seriously telling us that you cannot distinguish between Imperial and Metric unit readings...

That's exactly what happened with NASA's Mars Climate Orbiter in 1999. Apparently you DO need to be a rocket scientist.

[Guest Manky]

I always switch all the plugs off when not using them. I am petrified that electricity will seep out and electrocute me while I sleep. Either that or cause an electric explosion and blow the roof off.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

6 hours ago, DingTheRioja said:

Npower used to supply the house I bought years ago, the useless cunts never came out and did meter readings and when I rang up to give them it was "don't worry, our Professional Meter Readers will come out and do it for you"... they didn't do a reading for 9 months, so when I swapped suppliers and got the Final Bill it was double what it should have been so I complained and pointed out the readings I had given them, with proof. They changed the bill for those readings, they then came back with a new bill about £2 less than the original, apparently "because I used so little energy, my price per unit changed mid-contract"... to which I said fuck off or else, revise the bill or don't get paid.

Still not paid them 10 years later.  Almost all my old rentals were with them when I bought them, I'm sure the agents used to get kickbacks to change properties over to them, so I moved every single one from Npower as soon as I owned the property and gave my agent written instructions to never use Npower. 

Thieving lying fuckbags the lot of them, moving the goalposts was SOP, and some cunts let them get away with it.

Congratulations on your most boring post to date. I go away for four days, and without anyone to keep you in check, you're running amok like you own the fucking place with your boring, shitty, mid-life crisis nonsense.

I mean really Ding. Bloody fucking Norah. The amount of times you've used the word Bill in this diatribe... it really reflects badly on me if anyone is using the search function to dig up my hilarious material past and present.

 

[PANZER MURPHY]

I disagree comrade stickers I found the op quite interesting and may just save some of the brothers hard earned disappearing into the swallyhole of faceless soulless corporations. .it has prompted me to begin checking my bill before taking it down to the doley holey 

Panzerknacker 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

4 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said:

I disagree comrade stickers I found the op quite interesting and may just save some of the brothers hard earned disappearing into the swallyhole of faceless soulless corporations. .it has prompted me to begin checking my bill before taking it down to the doley holey 

Panzerknacker 

Panzer, cut the bullshit. We all know your local authority subsidies the cost of the lekkie running to your bedsit. You profoundly stupid little man.

[PANZER MURPHY]

2 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Panzer, cut the bullshit. We all know your local authority subsidies the cost of the lekkie running to your bedsit. You profoundly stupid little man.

Havnt i stated that already you can of festering piss

Panzerknacker 

[Guest DingTheRioja]

1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said:

Congratulations on your most boring post to date. I go away for four days, and without anyone to keep you in check, you're running amok like you own the fucking place with your boring, shitty, mid-life crisis nonsense.

I mean really Ding. Bloody fucking Norah. The amount of times you've used the word Bill in this diatribe... it really reflects badly on me if anyone is using the search function to dig up my hilarious material past and present.

 

6th reply and all you can do is try to slag someone off who's discussing to actual nom...

Now fuck off back in your corner and put the hat back on.

Thick cunt.

[Earl of Punkape]

10 hours ago, colonelkurtz said:

The news this morning 

"Energy firms have been ordered to refund thousands of gas customers affected by a meter reading mistake.
The error - caused by companies confusing measurements from older imperial meters with modern metric ones - is believed to have affected several thousand households".

 

Oh Really ! ... you utilties cunts actually expect us to believe that one ! What about you're multi million pound systems,cute adverts and not to mention six and seven figure salaried management of companies whose core business is basically energy supply and costing , are seriously telling us that you cannot distinguish between Imperial and Metric unit readings.Pull the other one you deceitful twats.To think it used to be second hand car dealers or dodgy watches from a suitcase on the high street.Now it's smug suits safe in the knowledge that fuck all , apart from a telling off and a fine equivalent to a weeks worth of lunch expense claims will come of it. What's the betting they blame the poor sods who have to schlepp round the streets taking meter readings.

 

 

 

Pay your bills and stop moaning.

Cunts like you just assume you ought to pay less than anyone else.,

[Earl of Punkape]

3 hours ago, Manky said:

I always switch all the plugs off when not using them. I am petrified that electricity will seep out and electrocute me while I sleep. Either that or cause an electric explosion and blow the roof off.

I'll bet you still wet the bed too....

Ponce.

lol.

[Guest Manky]

3 minutes ago, Punkape said:

I'll bet you still wet the bed too....

Ponce.

lol.

I fail to see the relevance of your post to the subject in discussion.

Come to think of it, I fail to see the relevance of you.

[Guest I know that Cunt]

3 hours ago, Manky said:

I always switch all the plugs off when not using them. I am petrified that electricity will seep out and electrocute me while I sleep. Either that or cause an electric explosion and blow the roof off.

Manky, pleeasse leave the plugs switched on just in case

[Cuntybaws]

3 hours ago, Manky said:

I always switch all the plugs off when not using them. I am petrified that electricity will seep out and electrocute me while I sleep. Either that or cause an electric explosion and blow the roof off.

If you're worried about electricity oozing unbidden from your toaster or one-bar fire, then leave them plugged in and take them into the bath with you. First though, to be on the safe side at the first sign of a thunderstorm, move the bath under the tallest tree you can find. Oh, and make sure you're wearing your tinfoil hat.

[PANZER MURPHY]

Suppose the moral of the story is to question all the organisations you deal with be they banks or service providers..was watching a doco one morning about a chap  that writes strings of complaint letters to the gas electricity and  TV companies about totally bogus complaints and all of them end up refunding him or sending vouchers for things by way of apology..seems it's easier to buy him off rather than investigate his complaint

Panzerknacker 

[Guest Manky]

2 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

If you're worried about electricity oozing unbidden from your toaster or one-bar fire, then leave them plugged in and take them into the bath with you. First though, to be on the safe side at the first sign of a thunderstorm, move the bath under the tallest tree you can find. Oh, and make sure you're wearing your tinfoil hat.

Was it Trevor Bayliss who invented the clockwork radio for use off grid in Africa? I am waiting for him to forget these slimmers on steroids, cannibalistic third worlders and contribute something useful to us electrophobes such as a clockwork toasters, clockwork kettles and clockwork x-boxes. Instructions in Nadsat ma droogs.

[Decimus]

27 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

If you're worried about electricity oozing unbidden from your toaster or one-bar fire, then leave them plugged in and take them into the bath with you. First though, to be on the safe side at the first sign of a thunderstorm, move the bath under the tallest tree you can find. Oh, and make sure you're wearing your tinfoil hat.

You're assuming that the Luddite cunt is wired up to mains electricity. If he wasn't such a massive, canal street loving bender, he would have made a home video of Fanny by Gaslight by now.

[ratcum]

25 minutes ago, Manky said:

Was it Trevor Bayliss who invented the clockwork radio for use off grid in Africa? I am waiting for him to forget these slimmers on steroids, cannibalistic third worlders and contribute something useful to us electrophobes such as a clockwork toasters, clockwork kettles and clockwork x-boxes. Instructions in Nadsat ma droogs.

Bayliss wasn't that clever otherwise he would have taken advantage of the fact that he looked like Paul Raymond in bad light.

[ratcum]

1 hour ago, Punkape said:

I'll bet you still wet the bed too....

Ponce.

lol.

I don't think we can say ponce on here but I ain't no grass Punko

[Earl of Punkape]

43 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

If you're worried about electricity oozing unbidden from your toaster or one-bar fire, then leave them plugged in and take them into the bath with you. First though, to be on the safe side at the first sign of a thunderstorm, move the bath under the tallest tree you can find. Oh, and make sure you're wearing your tinfoil hat.

And point a golf club in the air !

lol.

[Ape™️]

2 minutes ago, Punkape said:

And point a golf club in the air !

lol.

But not one of Punkys clubs - they've all got shit on the handles. 

lol.  Lol.

[Guest Manky]

1 minute ago, Decimus said:

You're assuming that the Luddite cunt is wired up to mains electricity. If he wasn't such a massive, canal street loving bender, he would have made a home video of Fanny by Gaslight by now.

3 reasons I never go to Canal Street. First, it's  full of arse bandits.  Second, the canal is dangerous and thirdly, I would run the risk of bumping into Spunkape and his fantasy golf club having a Cheshire Bumboys bonding weekend.

At 5am, the knocker upper uses his big stick to tap on my bedroom window. For this, I pay him tuppence a week. This gives me chance to use the outdoor privvy that serves 85 back to back houses. Then I put my best clogs on, my flat cap and scarf and jog off to Hardacre's Mill for my shift. Meanwhile, only a few miles away, the downtrodden peasants are busy inventing graphene, carrying out advanced and ground breaking medical procedures and exploring the galaxy. Add to this the world class sporting and cultural events and you can stick your web footed, inbred shithole county up your fucking arse.

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

3 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

Congratulations on your most boring post to date. I go away for four days, and without anyone to keep you in check, you're running amok like you own the fucking place with your boring, shitty, mid-life crisis nonsense.

I mean really Ding. Bloody fucking Norah. The amount of times you've used the word Bill in this diatribe... it really reflects badly on me if anyone is using the search function to dig up my hilarious material past and present.

 

Potato.