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Ape™️

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I've noticed a particular breed of cunt, a cuntbreed if you will (just for you @Fender777), that, while waiting at a road junction in their car, with no possibility of pulling out, violently pulls forward a few inches from time to time, either in frustration or because of a total lack of clutch control. Unfortunately, for perceptive drivers, this behaviour is often interpreted as "some dopey cunt is about to pull out in front of me", and so consequently brakes have to be applied. I'd happily feed each and ever one of these cunts feed first into a wood chipper. It goes without saying they'd be made to drink bleach first, as well as set on fire.

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Guest Alfie Noakes

What about the cunts that think a give way line is just a guide? They stop with the front of their car well across the line, as you see them approach you think they won't stop but they do but over the fucking line and you still have to swerve. Utter fuckwittery.

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Give way lines , lane markings , mini roundabouts , traffic lights ... all there just to brighten up and add a bit of colour to the street scene as far as these cunts are concerned. Can guarantee a minimum of five fucking rants daily from yours truly at the antics of these fucking dickwads in a 30 minute drive to work.

 

 

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1 hour ago, Ape said:

I've noticed a particular breed of cunt, a cuntbreed if you will (just for you @Fender777), that, while waiting at a road junction in their car, with no possibility of pulling out, violently pulls forward a few inches from time to time, either in frustration or because of a total lack of clutch control. Unfortunately, for perceptive drivers, this behaviour is often interpreted as "some dopey cunt is about to pull out in front of me", and so consequently brakes have to be applied. I'd happily feed each and ever one of these cunts feed first into a wood chipper. It goes without saying they'd be made to drink bleach first, as well as set on fire.

Moan, moan, moan. You are never happy are you. Miserable cunt

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Women at petrol stations, you are waiting behind their car, they get into the driving seat, and for some reason feel the need to reach for their handbag/shopping/purse and tip the contents onto the passenger seat, rummage for 5 minutes and then take another 5 minutes putting it back again. If you've used the dartford tunnel toll booths you will have seen the same routine whilst they search for change, card etc. cunts.

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Fuckers that boil my piss on the road:

1. Cunts that don't indicate right at traffic lights thus I think they're going straight on and get behind, only for them to start indicating as soon as the lights turn green

2. Cunts that stop across a junction in heavy traffic, thus stopping me from pulling out

3. As 2 above but when it says 'keep Clear' in huge fucking  white letters

4. Cunts who trundle along at 15mph in 20 mph zone

5. Cunts who park in a tyre pump bay and fuck off to do shopping in BP Garage. 

6. Cunts that take fucking ages to start moving when the traffic light goes green

7. Testosterone pumped men who beep me when I fail to move away from the lights in 0.00001 seconds.

8. Cyclists who ride in pairs thus stopping me from passing 

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Guest Alfie Noakes

Cunts who indicate right at a roundabout when they are going straight on stopping people entering the roundabout who could, destroying the whole point of the thing as a traffic flow easing system.

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17 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Fuckers that boil my piss on the road:

8. Cyclists who ride in pairs thus stopping me from passing 

Cyclists who ride in pairs are gay. For a 12th Dan, Cycle Ninja like myself, all road regulations and markings are advisory and can be ignored at will. Motorists are the enemy and must be treated as such. Black bike, black clothing and no lights while patrolling at night are the way a Cycle Ninja should operate.

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Guest DingTheRioja
3 hours ago, colonelkurtz said:

Give way lines , lane markings , mini roundabouts , traffic lights ... all there just to brighten up and add a bit of colour to the street scene as far as these cunts are concerned. Can guarantee a minimum of five fucking rants daily from yours truly at the antics of these fucking dickwads in a 30 minute drive to work.

30 minutes?

Fucking hell I could fill an 8-wheeler with dead bodies from just a 3 mile trip round town, you must be patience personified!

3 hours ago, Dr. Chernobyl said:

Just because you pedal everywhere on your little French tricycle with a basket on the front for all your baguettes. 

Onions.

 

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

5. Cunts who park in a tyre pump bay and fuck off to do shopping in BP Garage.

I could happily ram the airhose up their arses and press the "Flat Tyre" button, whilest inserting 2 dozen 20p's into the meter.

 

I bought a dash cam a few weeks back, might have to remove it so as I don't incriminate myself nevermind any other cunt.

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Guest Wizardsleeve

Bad drivers, a topic which by sheer numbers alone, should be able to dominate our discussions.  Much like politics or religion at a family gathering, this one is without limit or rival in utter cunts.  Having said that, all I will add is that I could write a fucking book!

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On 23/12/2016 at 9:26 PM, camberwell gypsy said:

Fuckers that boil my piss on the road:...

8. Cyclists who ride in pairs thus stopping me from passing 

Stop you from passing what?

 

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