Lollipop Cunts - aka Luminous Nonces

[Guest Ollyboro]

What this country needs is a cull of fuckwits who are incapable of crossing a road unaided, not a bunch of hi-viz knitting- allotment owning cunts actively helping them to avoid  death. Most of these cunts appear to fucking set up shop at pedestrian fucking crossings. We are now dealing with a whole new level of mobile phone obsessed retards.  ie  cunts seemingly incapable of pressing the button to cross. These Lollipop Cunts now work in pairs. After making their Dynamic Risk Assessments one of them will see some little cunt waddling down the pavement a good 800 yards away, before stepping out into the rush hour traffic and holding everycunt up for 3 minutes. Just as the cunt has finished crossing, and showing exquisite timing, the other yellow bastard will spot a speck in the distance and step out to allow another retard cross from the other side. Do their jackets melt when set on fire? Shall we find out?

[Witheredscrote]

22 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

What this country needs is a cull of fuckwits who are incapable of crossing a road unaided, not a bunch of hi-viz knitting- allotment owning cunts actively helping them to avoid  death. Most of these cunts appear to fucking set up shop at pedestrian fucking crossings. We are now dealing with a whole new level of mobile phone obsessed retards.  ie  cunts seemingly incapable of pressing the button to cross. These Lollipop Cunts now work in pairs. After making their Dynamic Risk Assessments one of them will see some little cunt waddling down the pavement a good 800 yards away, before stepping out into the rush hour traffic and holding everycunt up for 3 minutes. Just as the cunt has finished crossing, and showing exquisite timing, the other yellow bastard will spot a speck in the distance and step out to allow another retard cross from the other side. Do their jackets melt when set on fire? Shall we find out?

So in a nutshell ( or in your case more nutcase ) you don't give a flying fuck about infants crossing the road to school, or for that matter O.A.P's with poor eyesight. Your remarks   sum up the attitude of the majority of people in the U.K.  Why are you in such a rush, what is so important that you cannot wait for a couple of minutes. As for the ' do their jackets melt ', why don't you try one on and I will buy the petrol. Selfish cunt.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

59 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

What this country needs is a cull of fuckwits who are incapable of crossing a road unaided, not a bunch of hi-viz knitting- allotment owning cunts actively helping them to avoid  death. Most of these cunts appear to fucking set up shop at pedestrian fucking crossings. We are now dealing with a whole new level of mobile phone obsessed retards.  ie  cunts seemingly incapable of pressing the button to cross. These Lollipop Cunts now work in pairs. After making their Dynamic Risk Assessments one of them will see some little cunt waddling down the pavement a good 800 yards away, before stepping out into the rush hour traffic and holding everycunt up for 3 minutes. Just as the cunt has finished crossing, and showing exquisite timing, the other yellow bastard will spot a speck in the distance and step out to allow another retard cross from the other side. Do their jackets melt when set on fire? Shall we find out?

Unless you have just come out of prison or a mental institution after serving a 60 years plus sentence in a padded cell you should be aware that these lollipop people have been around since 1953. In that time they have also been present at pedestrian crossings to assist school children in crossing the roads. Assuming that you are not 79 years of age or older it seems to be a pity that at some point one of these lollipop people probably saved you from being run over and killed by a bad tempered and impatient motorist or mobility scooter user such as yourself .. I can only hope that one day you meet a flock of very, very angry killer geese. .. May I ask what sort of crime you committed that led you to being locked away for at least 64 years?

[Guest Ollyboro]

It would appear that I've smoked out the Corner's 2 resident Lollipop Cunts.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

3 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

It would appear that I've smoked out the Corner's 2 resident Lollipop Cunts.

No, you've simply farted .. are you now shacked up with a certain "golfer" and range rover "owner" in Cheshire?

[Stubby Pecker]

I pass a lollipop lady most mornings on my bike. It's at the top of a very long hill and she never stops me, a nice smile and a wink sees to that. She makes the little rat kids and their constantly smoking, tat covered sub human parents fucking wait for me. Quite right to. The van driving cunts doing 50 in the 30 zone have to stop mind but at least this gives them a chance to roll a fag, read the sun and update their Facebook status with some more gay porn.

[Roadkill]

Schools in general are always shit for roads. Whenever they're dropping the little spackers off or picking them up at the end of the school day there's always those lazy twat parents who totally ignore the yellow zigzags and park in the middle of the road without even attempting to get a wheel up on the kerb with their wing mirrors left out so that their fat, wheezing offspring don't have to waddle more than twenty paces before collapsing into the back seat of their Zafira. If not that then it's the council mams who are always pushing around different coloured children in those dual buggies that they like to push out into the middle of the road before them to force the traffic to stop when they're on their way to pick up their other low income sprogs that somehow made it to an age old enough to require school.

If it wasn't legally required I'd honestly not stop for any of the cunts.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

32 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Schools in general are always shit for roads. Whenever they're dropping the little spackers off or picking them up at the end of the school day there's always those lazy twat parents who totally ignore the yellow zigzags and park in the middle of the road without even attempting to get a wheel up on the kerb with their wing mirrors left out so that their fat, wheezing offspring don't have to waddle more than twenty paces before collapsing into the back seat of their Zafira. If not that then it's the council mams who are always pushing around different coloured children in those dual buggies that they like to push out into the middle of the road before them to force the traffic to stop when they're on their way to pick up their other low income sprogs that somehow made it to an age old enough to require school.

If it wasn't legally required I'd honestly not stop for any of the cunts.

Don't start me on cunts who dare to park one side of their care on the pavement or kerb .. they should have their genitals fried.

 

[Roadkill]

17 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said:

Don't start me on cunts who dare to park one side of their care on the pavement or kerb .. they should have their genitals fried.

 

Yes it's far better to leave your car in the way of fast moving traffic on narrow roads so that it can be shunted over the kerb and into a crowd of pedestrians by an impatient bin lorry.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

15 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Yes it's far better to leave your car in the way of fast moving traffic on narrow roads so that it can be shunted over the kerb and into a crowd of pedestrians by an impatient bin lorry.

Rather than the pedestrians being run over directly by the bin lorry because they have to step out into the road to get around the idiotically parked car.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

Don't understand the issue, without them the number of accidents would soar. A fatality closes the road for a very long time compared to stopping for a lollipop person or crossing, notwithstanding the other consequences accidents have.

[Roadkill]

1 hour ago, Lady Penelope said:

Rather than the pedestrians being run over directly by the bin lorry because they have to step out into the road to get around the idiotically parked car.

How tiny are the paths where you live? Or are you just... uh... well... fucking fat?

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

I would rather have the occasional inconvenience of waiting rather than have to undertake more frequent overhauls of my cars suspension as a result of constantly driving over sleeping policemen and speed tables - this being the alternative to the piss soaked, hi-viz lollipop persons.

[Hokey Gingers]

Really Olly, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Of all the people to pick on.What were you thinking? Baffling.

[Eric Cuntman]

I think Wiz mentioned this on another thread a while ago, but the one good thing you can say about Paedophiles is they DO drive slowly past schools.

[Witheredscrote]

1 hour ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

I would rather have the occasional inconvenience of waiting rather than have to undertake more frequent overhauls of my cars suspension as a result of constantly driving over sleeping policemen and speed tables - this being the alternative to the piss soaked, hi-viz lollipop persons.

Your old 2CV was designed to drive over cobbles and dead Vichy cunts, whilst carrying a tray of eggs. Now if you drove a car like Eddie's I could appreciate your point of view. As it is you can fuck right off... Vivre

[Rev]

To be fair, there's a glut of these otherwise unemployable day-glo cunt-blisters littering our streets. But it's not entirely their own fault. If these more often than not bastard infants' heroin-addicted fuck-nozzle parents weren't so busy playing Call of Duty, knocking back Special Brew, smoking grass bought for with my fucking taxes, renewing their membership to GoatFucksMySixToedSister.com and impregnating their bucket-fanny partners, they could chaperone their multi-coloured little turds across the road to the chippy themselves and buy their six-year olds their own fags at lunchtime. I remember the days when these lollipop pederast bastards wore a white greatcoat, probably concealing a rubber T-shirt with the nipples cut out and recently stolen (and more recently soiled) French crotchless directoire knickers. It's also always been a mandate of application that they must smell of piss. Cunts.

[Guest DingTheRioja]

I don't get why there is a lollipop cunt at a crossing which has lights and a button?  It's not fucking needed, since a child of 4 can reach the button and press it, even a flid in a wheelchair can... Fair enough for the zebra crossings with no red lights, but fucking hell....

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, Rev said:

To be fair, there's a glut of these otherwise unemployable day-glo cunt-blisters littering our streets. But it's not entirely their own fault. If these more often than not bastard infants' heroin-addicted fuck-nozzle parents weren't so busy playing Call of Duty, knocking back Special Brew, smoking grass bought for with my fucking taxes, renewing their membership to GoatFucksMySixToedSister.com and impregnating their bucket-fanny partners, they could chaperone their multi-coloured little turds across the road to the chippy themselves and buy their six-year olds their own fags at lunchtime. I remember the days when these lollipop pederast bastards wore a white greatcoat, probably concealing a rubber T-shirt with the nipples cut out and recently stolen (and more recently soiled) French crotchless directoire knickers. It's also always been a mandate of application that they must smell of piss. Cunts.

Sermon of the week. Have a like.

[Rev]

It's probably population control. Most of them likely have previous and are on some register or other. I suspect a fair few of them are issued with a trenching shovel and Fisting Butter along with their lollipop; especially the cunts who apply for shifts where there is waste ground near the school.

[Cuntybaws]

It's not really a job normal people would do, but I suppose there are only so many scout master positions available.

[Guest Ollyboro]

Clearly I have offended the members of the Lollifuckingpop League and as such have decided to make reparation. I have made a donation to the Agnes Buttersby , MBE, Memorial Charity, set up to provide help and support to Lollipop Persons injured in the of duty. After 35 years behind the 'pop Agnes, as you will doubtless recall, was tragically killed when she crashed her Reliant Robin into an adult day care centre whilst pissed out of her mind on cooking sherry and gin.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

16 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

Clearly I have offended the members of the Lollifuckingpop League and as such have decided to make reparation. I have made a donation to the Agnes Buttersby , MBE, Memorial Charity, set up to provide help and support to Lollipop Persons injured in the of duty. After 35 years behind the 'pop Agnes, as you will doubtless recall, was tragically killed when she crashed her Reliant Robin into an adult day care centre whilst pissed out of her mind on cooking sherry and gin.

Bloody hell Olly, you created a nom that generated civil discourse on a chat board called Cunt's Corner.  Why would make apologies for that?  Let them drop old boy!  

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, DingTheRioja said:

I don't get why there is a lollipop cunt at a crossing which has lights and a button?  It's not fucking needed, since a child of 4 can reach the button and press it, even a flid in a wheelchair can... Fair enough for the zebra crossings with no red lights, but fucking hell....

Since the Green Cross Code man was sacked for drink driving, kids are no longer responsible for their own road safety. Now they can walk off the kerb whilst texting or ensnaring Pokemons and if they get run over, it's the poor cunt driving the car who is branded a maniac and subsequently prosecuted.

[Guest Mingeeta]

11 hours ago, Ollyboro said:

What this country needs is a cull of fuckwits who are incapable of crossing a road unaided, not a bunch of hi-viz knitting- allotment owning cunts actively helping them to avoid  death. Most of these cunts appear to fucking set up shop at pedestrian fucking crossings. We are now dealing with a whole new level of mobile phone obsessed retards.  ie  cunts seemingly incapable of pressing the button to cross. These Lollipop Cunts now work in pairs. After making their Dynamic Risk Assessments one of them will see some little cunt waddling down the pavement a good 800 yards away, before stepping out into the rush hour traffic and holding everycunt up for 3 minutes. Just as the cunt has finished crossing, and showing exquisite timing, the other yellow bastard will spot a speck in the distance and step out to allow another retard cross from the other side. Do their jackets melt when set on fire? Shall we find out?

Knobhead they are therw for a reason and a good one at that. I've seen idiots race through crossings with kids on them so for me, they do a great job.