Stubby Pecker Posted April 6, 2017 Report Share Posted April 6, 2017 So spring is upon us and as soon as blades of grass dare to grow 1mm cuntbreeds across our nation must get out there a cut it down to size. What you do in your own garden is up to you, but fuck me why do twats feel the need to mow 100m of grass verge outside their garden walls? God forbid any flower that dares to grow there and make the place look untidy. Fucking fuckwits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 6, 2017 Report Share Posted April 6, 2017 There was a cunt who lived over the road from me, entire garden given over to a lawns. He only had a hand mower but he would be mwing his lawn at last three times a week. Mostly the lawns were bare earth with a few "withered" blades of grass showing through. Noel his next door neighbour told him that he was killing the grass "Can't stop" he would reply "the grass will be out of control". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 6, 2017 Report Share Posted April 6, 2017 Of course the cunts who mow the roadside verges .. especially along country lanes should be boiled in motor oil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted April 6, 2017 Report Share Posted April 6, 2017 4 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: So spring is upon us and as soon as blades of grass dare to grow 1mm cuntbreeds across our nation must get out there a cut it down to size. What you do in your own garden is up to you, but fuck me why do twats feel the need to mow 100m of grass verge outside their garden walls? God forbid any flower that dares to grow there and make the place look untidy. Fucking fuckwits. All of these obsessive compulsive cunts should receive a .50 caliber lobotomy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted April 6, 2017 Report Share Posted April 6, 2017 Why do they think the best time to mow the grass is 7am Sunday morning, especially the retired ones who could do it any time? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted April 6, 2017 Report Share Posted April 6, 2017 8 minutes ago, Rick_B said: Why do they think the best time to mow the grass is 7am Sunday morning, especially the retired ones who could do it any time? My guess is it's an attention seeking ploy, which can be easily resolved with a bottle of high proof alcohol with a lit rag in the neck hurled from an upper window down onto the offending pensioner cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted April 6, 2017 Report Share Posted April 6, 2017 12 minutes ago, Rick_B said: Why do they think the best time to mow the grass is 7am Sunday morning, especially the retired ones who could do it any time? With an avatar mirroring your hedonistic lifestyle, I'm amazed you'd actually be tucked up in bed at 7am on any given Sunday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted April 6, 2017 Report Share Posted April 6, 2017 20 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: My guess is it's an attention seeking ploy, which can be easily resolved with a bottle of high proof alcohol with a lit rag in the neck hurled from an upper window down onto the offending pensioner cunt. That's not a bad idea. It would take care of their lawns, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 The cuntry cunts round here plant fucking crocuses and daffodils in the greenbelt between hawthorn hedge and road. If you could add together all that grassed area from the side of a 5 mile stretch of road you could build a council estate complete with shit pub and maternity hospital aka fat cunt kid factory. So the cuntry cunts are not so dumb after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 19 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: The cuntry cunts round here plant fucking crocuses and daffodils in the greenbelt between hawthorn hedge and road. If you could add together all that grassed area from the side of a 5 mile stretch of road you could build a council estate complete with shit pub and maternity hospital aka fat cunt kid factory. So the cuntry cunts are not so dumb after all. Are these the cunts that start complaining and demonstrating when a wooded area is going to be cut down for a much needed by pass, despite never having stepped foot in the place? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 21 hours ago, Rick_B said: Why do they think the best time to mow the grass is 7am Sunday morning, especially the retired ones who could do it any time? They're probably just trying to flatten the prostitute shaped mole hills in their gardens, Rick. Your neighbours aren't Suffolk based taxi drivers, or Yorkshire based lorry drivers, are they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 9 minutes ago, Ollyboro said: They're probably just trying to flatten the prostitute shaped mole hills in their gardens, Rick. Your neighbours aren't Suffolk based taxi drivers, or Yorkshire based lorry drivers, are they? Rick lives on a disused gun tower off the Suffolk coast. He only has imaginery mermaids for company. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 22 hours ago, Rick_B said: Why do they think the best time to mow the grass is 7am Sunday morning, especially the retired ones who could do it any time? Very good point. I've never understood why old people go to bed early and then get up at 5am, they've got fuck all to do, I understand the elderly get tired but why the time scale? Perhaps they like watching tele-shopping, which is the only crap on at that time in the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 39 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Rick lives on a disused gun tower off the Suffolk coast. He only has imaginery mermaids for company. I don't trust Mermaids, something fishy about them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I don't trust Mermaids, something fishy about them. except their cunts which I have on authority (see what I did there?) are sort of beefy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Perhaps they like watching tele-shopping, which is the only crap on at that time in the morning. Compared to the rest of daytime TV it's probably more entertaining. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 4 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Are these the cunts that start complaining and demonstrating when a wooded area is going to be cut down for a much needed by pass, despite never having stepped foot in the place? Thought you said much needed piss there Gyps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 Back on topic, I used to do this on a regular basis as the council were fuckin useless. Apart from a few Honda owners, there's precious little civic pride about these days, so I'm applauding my own efforts. Well done Ratty. Hussah!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 8 minutes ago, ratcum said: Back on topic, I used to do this on a regular basis as the council were fuckin useless. Apart from a few Honda owners, there's precious little civic pride about these days, so I'm applauding my own efforts. Well done Ratty. Hussah!! Nice one Rat, that showed the fuckers 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 1 hour ago, Snatch said: Compared to the rest of daytime TV it's probably more entertaining. When I was younger I was very keen on loose women. And I had lots of magazines and videos of them showing their tits and fannies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 23 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: When I was younger I was very keen on loose women. And I had lots of magazines and videos of them showing their tits and fannies. was that Coleen Nolan or one of the dead ones? You sick fuck Authoritah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 45 minutes ago, ratcum said: was that Coleen Nolan or one of the dead ones? You sick fuck Authoritah All of the Nolans, except Colleen, the thought of Shane Ritchie being there first was too much to bear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 On 4/6/2017 at 5:09 PM, Rick_B said: Why do they think the best time to mow the grass is 7am Sunday morning, especially the retired ones who could do it any time? Old people don't sleep as well, apparently. 7 am is probably a lie in for them. Any longer and their bed sores start weeping puss, their joints seize up and they start pissing the bed. Mowing some tiny patch of grass down to a uniform height affords them the semblance of normality and control that is otherwise totally absent for them in a world that has already moved on and treats them as nothing more than a slightly annoying irrelevance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 4 hours ago, nobgobbler said: Thought you said much needed piss there Gyps! I don't piss in the woods. The Pope does. Or is it a bear? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 18 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I don't piss in the woods. The Pope does. Or is it a bear? A bear in the woods sits behind a tree. A fox walks by and the bear beckons to fox and asks "hey pal, does shit stick to your fur?", "no" says the fox, to which the bear replies "you are a lucky cunt". Five minutes later a rabbit walks by and the bear beckons to the rabbit and says "hey pal, does shit stick to your fur?", "no" says the rabbit, to which the bear replies "you are a lucky cunt". Five minutes later punkape walks by and the bear beckons to punkape and asks "hey pal, does shit stick to your fur?", "yes it fucking does, why?" "Oh no reason" says the bear, as he wipes his arse on punkape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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