Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted August 27, 2017 Report Share Posted August 27, 2017 Dan thought about taking up the sport of dwarf tossing until he found out you have to actually throw the whole body and not just fiddle with part of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted August 27, 2017 Report Share Posted August 27, 2017 I have noticed Mars bars getting smaller. Do they deep fry a couple at a time now? Thick Caledonian fuckwits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted August 27, 2017 Report Share Posted August 27, 2017 1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said: I already have. In fact my morning routine is get up, have a shit, report you. I do it in that order because the shit reminds me of the standard of your posts. And if it's a greasy nasty one it reminds me of you Around 48 hours ago I used the "having a shit reminds me of a cunt", line, but as the saying goes, "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery", you must really fucking love me. And could you please have a word with your slimy simpleton girlfriend, Scrotes? I don't think I've read a single post of his in the last 12 months that hasn't been fixated on me or Ape. He's worse than you, which really is saying something Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 27, 2017 Report Share Posted August 27, 2017 When I was in Carolina's a few years ago, my friend's son was playing for his college so I was dragged along to see the game. The game, I was told, lasts for 60 minutes. Great. Not too long. What I wasn't told was that the fucking clock stops for everything. So for over 4 hours I was stuck amongst thousands of hillbillies all whooping and yeehaaing, all drinking beer from plastic cups the size of buckets and demolishing hot dogs the size of moray eels. Never again. However, what made up for it was a week later in Texas, when I went to a rodeo and had the pleasure to see macho cunts dressed like Robert Mitchum, thrown ten feet in the air and having the shit kicked out of them by a mad as fuck bull. Now celebrity rodeo on TV I would watch. "I'm a celebrity can someone get this bulls horn out of my spleen". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 27, 2017 Report Share Posted August 27, 2017 2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: When I was in Carolina's a few years ago, my friend's son was playing for his college so I was dragged along to see the game. The game, I was told, lasts for 60 minutes. Great. Not too long. What I wasn't told was that the fucking clock stops for everything. So for over 4 hours I was stuck amongst thousands of hillbillies all whooping and yeehaaing, all drinking beer from plastic cups the size of buckets and demolishing hot dogs the size of moray eels. Never again. However, what made up for it was a week later in Texas, when I went to a rodeo and had the pleasure to see macho cunts dressed like Robert Mitchum, thrown ten feet in the air and having the shit kicked out of them by a mad as fuck bull. Now celebrity rodeo on TV I would watch. "I'm a celebrity can someone get this bulls horn out of my spleen". First episode, Brian Dowling and Rylan Clark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted August 27, 2017 Report Share Posted August 27, 2017 11 hours ago, Bubba C said: Around 48 hours ago I used the "having a shit reminds me of a cunt", line, but as the saying goes, "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery", you must really fucking love me. And could you please have a word with your slimy simpleton girlfriend, Scrotes? I don't think I've read a single post of his in the last 12 months that hasn't been fixated on me or Ape. He's worse than you, which really is saying something Let your anger flow young sheep shagger, let it consume you until the end.... I too would be angry if I returned from a 12 hour shift on min wage in the coal mine to my hovel in the Rhondda to beans on toast and only 3 chanels of made up Taff gibberish on your black and white telly. Cry yourself to sleep again, and fuck off whilst doing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted August 27, 2017 Report Share Posted August 27, 2017 13 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: Surely you are getting him confused with Bubba? Got me there withers. The two cunts both spout a similar line of bullshit, and both greasy turds to boot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 On 8/26/2017 at 5:06 PM, Tata Steely Dan said: I didn't realise this forum was full of touchy chavs who feel special watching shit American sport. Dan, as a fan of global sport, I have to say, you've been given a right fucking kicking tonight! Do you watch the Olympics at all? Have you noticed how the yanks do so well? Gymnastics///their women dominate. Swimming??? Forget it! Between Phelps and Ledecky, nobody comes close! We have excellent, top shelf athletes, and they're brilliant to watch. Every country offers their best at the games, so stop being a thick fucking jock cunt, and stfu! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 10 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Dan, as a fan of global sport, I have to say, you've been given a right fucking kicking tonight! Do you watch the Olympics at all? Have you noticed how the yanks do so well? Gymnastics///their women dominate. Swimming??? Forget it! Between Phelps and Ledecky, nobody comes close! We have excellent, top shelf athletes, and they're brilliant to watch. Every country offers their best at the games, so stop being a thick fucking jock cunt, and stfu! Britain has a fine tradition of producing world class Canadian and Somali champions. Of course, when they stop winning they stop being British, like that whinging gammy legged jock cunt Murray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: Britain has a fine tradition of producing world class Canadian and Somali champions. Of course, when they stop winning they stop being British, like that whinging gammy legged jock cunt Murray. Last time round, a yank track star competed for Britain as her mum is a Brit....Cindi Ofili, I believe was the name. Please feel free to fact check me on that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 Just now, Wizardsleeve said: Last time round, a yank track star competed for Britain as her mum is a Brit....Cindi Ofili, I believe was the name. Please feel free to fact check me on that. I remember Greg Rusedski being hailed as the great hope for British tennis, on the grounds that his aunt once spent a weekend in London or something. But he never won Wimbledon, so now he's just a toothy Canadian cunt again. We tried to claim Zola Budd as well, despite her being technically more Zulu than British. Basically, when it comes to sport, we are a desperate load of bullshitters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 5 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I remember Greg Rusedski being hailed as the great hope for British tennis, on the grounds that his aunt once spent a weekend in London or something. But he never won Wimbledon, so now he's just a toothy Canadian cunt again. We tried to claim Zola Budd as well, despite her being technically more Zulu than British. Basically, when it comes to sport, we are a desperate load of bullshitters. Most sports involve running, jumping, picking up heavy things or throwing stuff - all pretty useful skills to have if you're living in the Serengeti, but not that helpful in England. This is why people of colour are good at 'sports'. If the term 'sports' was extended to encompass inventing steam railways, building iron bridges and inventing telly, we'd be fucking top. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 On 26/08/2017 at 8:54 PM, Ape said: Americans have their soul singers, and we have our soul singers. Arsesoul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 7 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I remember Greg Rusedski being hailed as the great hope for British tennis, on the grounds that his aunt once spent a weekend in London or something. But he never won Wimbledon, so now he's just a toothy Canadian cunt again. We tried to claim Zola Budd as well, despite her being technically more Zulu than British. Basically, when it comes to sport, we are a desperate load of bullshitters. Mo Farah isn't British either and looks like an Inhabitant of the Horn of Africa........which he is. If he was British he wouldn't have chested along with his bent coach. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 8 minutes ago, Punkape said: Arsesoul. You do realise that Apes post was a trick to identify the gay ones. It took you a day and a half but well done, you're the winner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 1 minute ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: You do realise that Apes post was a trick to identify the gay ones. It took you a day and a half but we'll done, you're the winner. Peasant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 4 minutes ago, Punkape said: Peasant. Pretend toffee nosed, chinless inbred. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 12 minutes ago, Punkape said: Arsesoul. Very good. I'll be sure to pass that on to Peter and Dudley next time I'm at a seance. They'll piss themselves! Wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 31 minutes ago, Ape said: Very good. I'll be sure to pass that on to Peter and Dudley next time I'm at a seance. They'll piss themselves! Wanker. Seance ? You're involved in witchcraft you fucking heathen cunt. I'll let the judge know before your trial starts in Faro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 35 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: Pretend toffee nosed, chinless inbred. Getting a tattoo done today ? No doubt an image of Craig Gravel Whorewood on your buttock. Lol. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 17 minutes ago, Punkape said: Getting a tattoo done today ? No doubt an image of Craig Gravel Whorewood on your buttock. Lol. Fuck off. Coolered again! LOL ROFL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 22 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: macho cunts dressed like Robert Mitchum, thrown ten feet in the air and having the shit kicked out of them by a mad as fuck bull. That reminds me of when I saw Lizzy Proctor's son Gareth (he was named after Gareth Hunt) try to do a wheelie on his Honda moped The bike threw him about 15ft then did a sort of cartwheel and landed on his legs. He was in hospital for 8 months and having long-term treatment for internal injuries for about 3 years afterwards Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 43 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said: That reminds me of when I saw Lizzy Proctor's son Gareth (he was named after Gareth Hunt) try to do a wheelie on his Honda moped The bike threw him about 15ft then did a sort of cartwheel and landed on his legs. He was in hospital for 8 months and having long-term treatment for internal injuries for about 3 years afterwards Lizzy Proctor the woman accused of being a witch at the Salem witch trials? Fucking hell she's really away today. You've missed your tablets today Pen. I'll get them and make you a nice cup of tea and then you can tell me all about the GIs you knew during the war again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 5 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Lizzy Proctor the woman accused of being a witch at the Salem witch trials? Fucking hell she's really away today. You've missed your tablets today Pen. I'll get them and make you a nice cup of tea and then you can tell me all about the GIs you knew during the war again. Don't forget to collect her pension for her. 14 shillings and sixpence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 4 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said: Most sports involve running, jumping, picking up heavy things or throwing stuff - all pretty useful skills to have if you're living in the Serengeti, but not that helpful in England. This is why people of colour are good at 'sports'. If the term 'sports' was extended to encompass inventing steam railways, building iron bridges and inventing telly, we'd be fucking top. Careful, 'people of colour' may be the correct terminology this week, but as soon as white people start using it, it will suddenly become offensive again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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