Christmas

[Eric Cuntman]

36 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Since Band Aid’s 1984 Xmas no.1, people in Africa are still poor and starving, yet Mr Smelly has become rich beyond his wildest dreams.

I'm fairly confident that band aid was the catalyst which launched Bonio on his quest to help and care for the needy of the world by becoming a millionaire hundreds of times over and giving them fuck all of his own money yet blabbing on about how it's everyone's responsibility to help. The sanctimonious little hypocrite cunt. Any fucking celebrity who preaches altruism should fucking hand over most of their own wealth, leaving themselves comfortable of course. And if they're not prepared to do that and lead by example, shut the fuck up.

[Wolfie]

9 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I'm fairly confident that band aid was the catalyst which launched Bonio on his quest to help and care for the needy of the world by becoming a millionaire hundreds of times over and giving them fuck all of his own money yet blabbing on about how it's everyone's responsibility to help. The sanctimonious little hypocrite cunt. Any fucking celebrity who preaches altruism should fucking hand over most of their own wealth, leaving themselves comfortable of course. And if they're not prepared to do that and lead by example, shut the fuck up.

Many in the public eye choose to donate quietly without seeking attention to promote their careers. Numerous charities who rely on volunteers raise huge sums of money on behalf of impoverished countries all year round, each year, and seek no publicity or recognition for doing so, even though much of it insidiously filters into a sea of corruptness.

I'm glad those who see through the greedy facades of Bonio, Allen and Geldof et al. are speaking out. There's nothing which riles me quite like a fucking celebrity with a newfangled moral compass inserted into their anus, who has tens of millions in the bank, yet decides to use other people's misfortune to shine themselves in a better light. Charity is very personal because of life experiences associated with it. If a wealthy celebrity wishes to provide for a mud-hut town of several thousand in need of clean water, contraception and education, they should consider downsizing from their cunty £11.5m London home and donate the money themself.   

[Wolfie]

10 hours ago, Rick_B said:

It almost never does, although it snowed here on Boxing Day evening in 2014.

I bet it really 'snowed' that Christmas, Rick.

[Guest Snatch]

15 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Many in the public eye choose to donate quietly without seeking attention to promote their careers. Numerous charities who rely on volunteers raise huge sums of money on behalf of impoverished countries all year round, each year, and seek no publicity or recognition for doing so, even though much of it insidiously filters into a sea of corruptness.

I'm glad those who see through the greedy facades of Bonio, Allen and Geldof et al. are speaking out. There's nothing which riles me quite like a fucking celebrity with a newfangled moral compass inserted into their anus, who has tens of millions in the bank, yet decides to use other people's misfortune to shine themselves in a better light. Charity is very personal because of life experiences associated with it. If a wealthy celebrity wishes to provide for a mud-hut town of several thousand in need of clean water, contraception and education, they should consider downsizing from their cunty £11.5m London home and donate the money themself.   

It's also a strange coincidence that when some of these celebrities do visit the poor countries to help out there is always a camera crew visiting at the same time.

Angelina "look at me saving the world" Jolie is a prime example.

[Wolfie]

21 minutes ago, Snatch said:

It's also a strange coincidence that when some of these celebrities do visit the poor countries to help out there is always a camera crew visiting at the same time.

Angelina "look at me saving the world" Jolie is a prime example.

Cue Lily 'my shit doesn't stink' Allen during her self-effacing little tantrum in the Calais Jungle, in which the camera stayed firmly on her face as she let rip with the best crocodile tears I've seen in years. Famed for eschewing press intrusion, it's funny how Lily decided not to edit such a personal moment out before it was broadcast to millions. It wasn't about bearded children trying to claim asylum in the UK: it was about her.

[Eddie]

13 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Cue Lily 'my shit doesn't stink' Allen during her self-effacing little tantrum in the Calais Jungle, in which the camera stayed firmly on her face as she let rip with the best crocodile tears I've seen in years. Famed for eschewing press intrusion, it's funny how Lily decided not to edit such a personal moment out before it was broadcast to millions. It wasn't about bearded children trying to claim asylum in the UK: it was about her.

 

[Wolfie]

Ha, it's so true. I bet my mortgage they were fucking BBC or CNN. Much credit to Lauren Southern: she tells it how it is.

[Jiggerycock]

When was the last time the true meaning of Christmas was celebrated, by which I mean the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ?

At a guess I'd say during Oliver Cromwell's Protectorate in the 17th Century.

Since then, society has grafted on the notion it's a day we should be marginally less cunty to everyone else and then of course the breadheads have got hold of it and turned it into the Capitalist wank fest it is today.

Personally, I'm not that bothered with it.

Presents? If I must - a new pair of brown brogues for me, an bottle of eggnog to the good lady wife., but after that, fuck off with all the excess and faux-jollity and leave me to study the Kempton Boxing Day card in peace.

[Guest Piston]

13 hours ago, Ape said:

Which nominations would those be? 

Well. here's one from January that's just resurfaced:

I'm too busy to come round and unzip your flies every time you want a piss. Call social services and get a fucking grip.

PS Am going Christmas shopping tonight (thanks Wolfie), I'll see if I can make a nom out of that. Seasons Gratings (sic)

[Guest Lady Penelope]

5 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

When was the last time the true meaning of Christmas was celebrated, by which I mean the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ?

 

It was at Rishton in Lancashire in 1853.

[Jiggerycock]

3 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said:

It was at Rishton in Lancashire in 1853.

You're confusing that with the debut of Michael Holding in the Lancashire Cricket League

[Wolfie]

28 minutes ago, Piston said:

Well. here's one from January that's just resurfaced:

I'm too busy to come round and unzip your flies every time you want a piss. Call social services and get a fucking grip.

PS Am going Christmas shopping tonight (thanks Wolfie), I'll see if I can make a nom out of that. Seasons Gratings (sic)

Good morning Piston, you cantankerous little fanny. While I'd like to admire the accuracy of your crystal ball, I can't find any recent resurfacing of the Harman university sex lecturer story, as you claim. And why weren't you able to anticipate her recent Holocaust joke? Considering your expertise in current affairs, based on the ongoing popularity of your noms, you have left me feeling rather disappointed. 

[Guest Lady Penelope]

28 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Good morning Piston, you cantankerous little fanny. While I'd like to admire the accuracy of your crystal ball, I can't find any recent resurfacing of the Harman university sex lecturer story, as you claim. And why weren't you able to anticipate her recent Holocaust joke? Considering your expertise in current affairs, based on the ongoing popularity of your noms, you have left me feeling rather disappointed. 

I have just liked Piston's original nom out of spite. Wulfee you are a dulLARD.

[Wolfie]

1 hour ago, Lady Penelope said:

I have just liked Piston's original nom out of spite. Wulfee you are a dulLARD.

Piston will feel relieved to have you on her side.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said:

When was the last time the true meaning of Christmas was celebrated, by which I mean the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ?

At a guess I'd say during Oliver Cromwell's Protectorate in the 17th Century.

Since then, society has grafted on the notion it's a day we should be marginally less cunty to everyone else and then of course the breadheads have got hold of it and turned it into the Capitalist wank fest it is today.

Personally, I'm not that bothered with it.

Presents? If I must - a new pair of brown brogues for me, an bottle of eggnog to the good lady wife., but after that, fuck off with all the excess and faux-jollity and leave me to study the Kempton Boxing Day card in peace.

I'm might go over to Kempton on boxing Day. Usually good pickings them race meetings. I'll take my lucky heather, shabbiest dress and begging bowl. Can I get a parking permit for the Range Rover?

[Wolfie]

31 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I'm might go over to Kempton on boxing Day. Usually good pickings them race meetings. I'll take my lucky heather, shabbiest dress and begging bowl. Can I get a parking permit for the Range Rover?

Be sure to take one of your 'special' home-knitted jumpers with you, in case it snows.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

23 hours ago, Wolfie said:

We're barely into the second week of November and this two-month long shitfest has already begun. It doesn't matter where I turn – TV, internet or radio – there's an adult putting on some stupid fucking childish voice, trying to sell something few people actually need. I'm sick to the back teeth of it. And it's going to last until the end of December, which each year yields the biggest anti-climax known to modern man: the 'big day'.

While I respect the fact it's an exciting time for kids, it puts parents under unnecessary strain to afford not only price-inflated presents their loud, violent, stinky, snotty, spoilt little bundles of joy must have, it also creates a pressure-cooker situation in which the real meaning of being unselfish and forgiving has been completely forgotten because people no longer have time to appreciate it. Many families will suffer financially throughout January and February because of the expense of the relentless cuntfest, while one friend (who has two brats) said to me last week 'we're just going to have to get through it this year'. Nice.

If your family is anything like mine, you too will spend the day clock-watching as the Buck's Fizz goes down and the faux politeness disappears, with aunts and uncles (especially aunts) developing huge fucking McCain oven chips on their shoulders and tearing into one another. For me, this is the highlight of Christmas.

It's become a capitalist's playground which seems to go squarely against the grain of getting away from the drudgery of work to relax. More than any other class, retailers appeal to and seem to fleece the most gullible, chavvy, council-dwelling fuckwits for every penny they have, who in turn have been brainwashed into thinking December 25 is their raison d'être and sole purpose in life, putting their shitty, embarrassing, energy-wasting Chinese decorations on display six weeks prematurely.

As an atheist, I couldn't give a monkeys about the 'festive' period's religious aspect (I'll wager the real St Nicholas was a prolific drunk fond of children in many ways), however, people ought to have the right to enjoy an easygoing period of a genuine public holiday. If you work in retail, as millions do, it must be hell on Earth.

And there's the fucking relationship with snow. While this ironic marketing facet may be appropriate for a country such as Canada, it generally pisses it down each year in Britain, which travelling relatives suffer for hours while staring at the backend of thousands of other cars on our congested motorways. If it did snow, no one would be able to get anywhere in the first place.

I hate Christmas, and I can't wait until it's over for an other 10 months. It should be illegal – or at least have advertising and decorations constraints placed upon it. I wish the whole thing would just fuck clean off, I really do.

Someone was raised in the foster system. 

[Guest Piston]

2 hours ago, Wolfie said:

Piston will feel relieved to have you on her side.

I am often relieved by the good Lady's posts...

and I meant the nom resurfaced not intimations of Harman bothering...

and I wasted a fucking age posting this from a machine that doesn't have my login remembered...and the the bastard network froze...

Hope you choke on Stickers' Like, provocative fucker.

[Wolfie]

1 hour ago, Piston said:

I am often relieved by the good Lady's posts...

and I meant the nom resurfaced not intimations of Harman bothering...

and I wasted a fucking age posting this from a machine that doesn't have my login remembered...and the the bastard network froze...

Hope you choke on Stickers' Like, provocative fucker.

Obviously rattled, I nevertheless thank you for taking the time to explain your stupidity to me.

[Wolfie]

 

[Decimus]

On 12/11/2017 at 20:26, Piston said:

It seems you're getting mixed up  re feedback versus a critical evaluation of 'opportunistic, utter bollocks'.

Happy Xmas (in  fucking advance) and a Very Happy Brief New Year.

I'd almost forgotten what a strange, angry little cunt you were, Piston. You'd quite often post disjointed bollocks such as the above in conjunction with a shit attempt at proving your intelligence. Mostly it made you appear as an easily rattled cunt, and never did it make you sound in the least bit sober.

When I picture the smug look that you undoubtedly wore on your stupid, alcohol-bloated face as you typed out "mixed up  re feedback versus a critical evaluation of 'opportunistic, utter bollocks'." I genuinely find myself wanting to stamp on your larynx until the gristle and bone is crunching underneath my boot.

Never come back. You've been warned.

[Arnold]

In trying to keep in with the Christmas spirit I thought I'd put the morning service on the telly. Like a cunt I chose BBC1: carols I'd never heard of, carols with the wrong fucking tune and, of course, the vicar was un-white. I promptly changed channels and watched an episode of 'The World at War'. A damn sight more entertaining.

Bollocks to it.

[Penny Farthing]

16 minutes ago, Arnold said:

In trying to keep in with the Christmas spirit I thought I'd put the morning service on the telly. Like a cunt I chose BBC1: carols I'd never heard of, carols with the wrong fucking tune and, of course, the vicar was un-white. I promptly changed channels and watched an episode of 'The World at War'. A damn sight more entertaining.

Bollocks to it.

The Enforcer & Magnum Force so far this morning.

[scotty]

On 25/12/2022 at 11:57, Arnold said:

the vicar was un-white.

I'd like to think it was this guy, Arnold.

https://youtu.be/woAFfMOakcQ

[Arnold]

16 hours ago, scotty said:

I'd like to think it was this guy, Arnold.

https://youtu.be/woAFfMOakcQ

That was a breath of fresh air, Scotty.