Cuntybaws Posted December 24, 2017 Report Share Posted December 24, 2017 8 minutes ago, Albert Ross said: As The Festival is nearly three months away, how about some tips for Kempton Park's Tuesday meeting? Just set fire to your money. At least that way the bookies won't get it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 24, 2017 Report Share Posted December 24, 2017 5 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: You have a very troubled mind .. suicide is the best option for you. Pot-kettle, you thick as shit twat! Have yourself a suicidal little Christmas, cunt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted December 24, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2017 2 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: Ape is a good man at heart. Prove it. Biopsy the Cunt. I’d suggest using a snow shovel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted December 24, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2017 4 hours ago, Albert Ross said: As The Festival is nearly three months away, how about some tips for Kempton Park's Tuesday meeting? Black Corton in the 155 on Boxing Day. Only negative is that he has an inexperienced lady jockey called Bryony. Merry Christmas, Cunts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted December 24, 2017 Report Share Posted December 24, 2017 She not that inexperienced, her sire is a Grand National winner and she won the Foxhunters at this year's Festival, and she's on 16% strike rate this season Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted December 25, 2017 Report Share Posted December 25, 2017 10 hours ago, Albert Ross said: As The Festival is nearly three months away, how about some tips for Kempton Park's Tuesday meeting? Think Elegant Escape is overpriced in the 1.55 at 6/1 (beat Black Corton fair and square at Newbury last time out but is a point bigger for this - go figure). Jumps well and may get an uncontested lead which is vital round Kempton Buveur D'Air will win the Christmas Hurdle but it's a no bet race for me at those odds. Wolfcatcher could run a big race at 20/1 in the last - looked like he was coming back to form last time and is on a decent mark now You going? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted December 25, 2017 Report Share Posted December 25, 2017 5 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: You going? Not this year, I'm working Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted December 25, 2017 Report Share Posted December 25, 2017 1 hour ago, Albert Ross said: Not this year, I'm working Big Mac meal and no skimping on the fries this time then! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted December 25, 2017 Report Share Posted December 25, 2017 1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said: Big Mac meal and no skimping on the fries this time then! Bang on, how did you guess? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted December 25, 2017 Report Share Posted December 25, 2017 34 minutes ago, Albert Ross said: Bang on, how did you guess? Guessing be damned! I'm a punter - I studied the form intensely and it came out as the value bet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted December 25, 2017 Report Share Posted December 25, 2017 20 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said: I'm a punter - I studied the form intensely and it came out as the value bet Do you bet on "virtual racing"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted February 1, 2018 Report Share Posted February 1, 2018 On 24/12/2017 at 1:39 PM, Jiggerycock said: Fuck the advert! Paddy Power is the top of the giant Razzle stack of bookmaking cunts when it comes to accepting a decent punt. They think this matey, man-of-the-people branding buys them some yardage with their customers but like all advertising, it's a load of (w)hoary 'smoke and mirrors' bullshit. I wanted £50 each way on Whisper for the Cheltenham Gold Cup at 20/1 (there you go you cunts. Happy Christmas and don't say I don't give you anything) - compliance droid behind the counter called it through to head office and I got told I could have a fiver, the chiselling twatters! Fuckers just been ruled out for the rest of the season, so hardy-har-har Paddy Power for knocking me back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted February 1, 2018 Report Share Posted February 1, 2018 The one thing everybody seems to have missed in this nom, Tony Hadley should be stabbed through the fuckin' heart, literally, warbling eighties throwback cunt! fuck off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted February 3, 2018 Report Share Posted February 3, 2018 On Sunday, December 24, 2017 at 10:11 AM, Lady Penelope said: At least (unlike you) Ape has got internal organs and the dexterity to control radio controlled model aircraft. I have the dexterity to apply paint to a wall and watch it dry which is a similarly boring past time in my opinion. Just ask him if you want to twiddle with Apes little joystick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted February 3, 2018 Report Share Posted February 3, 2018 1 hour ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: I have the dexterity to apply paint to a wall and watch it dry which is a similarly boring past time in my opinion. Just ask him if you want to twiddle with Apes little joystick. Is this a bit like a pastime or was it past time in the pub again? I sure that once you were home, your dexterity came into play as you guzzled a can of Special Brew using one hand, whilst cracking the next open with the other. Must take a lot of practice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted February 3, 2018 Report Share Posted February 3, 2018 51 minutes ago, Ape said: Is this a bit like a pastime or was it past time in the pub again? I sure that once you were home, your dexterity came into play as you guzzled a can of Special Brew using one hand, whilst cracking the next open with the other. Must take a lot of practice. Fuck off Ape you boring cunt. Aim your criticism at the slitty eyed little fellows that developed the Autocorrect on my Samsung Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted November 10, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Those lovely creative people at Paddy Power are at it again. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/paddy-power-tv-ad-old-people-zombies-walking-dead-sky-fox-ofcom-a8605221.html Piggy backing a show about mindless zombies in search of brains seems quite dangerous for a bookmaker. If you have ever been in a betting office on a midweek afternoon, as I was briefly this week to collect on a bet placed by a friend in my birthday card, you’ll soon turn on your heel. A more miserable circle of hell you could not imagine this side of Offa’s Dyke. Some Chinese looking chaps banging notes into the FOBTs and chattering away over the endless roulette noise. Two old blokes with dementia talking about Ted Heath being a Cunt. An old boy leafing through the Racing Post trying to find the tits on page 3 and thus confused by a photo of Aidan O’Brien. Some old Magoo type Cunt with his nose pressed against the massive screens chuntering about the weather in Chepstow and clutching his 5p Lucky 63 slip. A postman sheltering from the rain staring into space between 50p bets on the dogs. The tubby staff who all score far too high on the PHQ9 index for my liking. What a sorry state we find ourselves in these days. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Never mind these ads,what about fucking christmas ads in the first week of November,festive cunts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 2 hours ago, Neil said: Never mind these ads,what about fucking christmas ads in the first week of November,festive cunts You wait till boxing day when they start advertising Cadbury's cream eggs and Thomson holidays 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted November 10, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 3 hours ago, Neil said: Never mind these ads,what about fucking christmas ads in the first week of November,festive cunts Quite right. The first strains of Noddy Holder before the last fireworks is enough to send me homicidal. There should be some sort of law.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 5 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Quite right. The first strains of Noddy Holder before the last fireworks is enough to send me homicidal. There should be some sort of law.... There is, the law that time flows chronologically. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 10 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: There is, the law that time flows chronologically. So, time flows in order of time does it? Who’d have thought it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 21 minutes ago, Iam Ape said: So, time flows in order of time does it? Who’d have thought it? Your time flows between Tesco and your next grubby all-inclusive holiday to some plebian Mediterranean shithole where you can parade your tattoos and ferrets with tossers of a similar ilk..... lol. Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 25 minutes ago, Lord Punkape said: Your time flows between Tesco and your next grubby all-inclusive holiday to some plebian Mediterranean shithole where you can parade your tattoos and ferrets with tossers of a similar ilk..... lol. Fuck off. Dear oh dear, what a load of utter shit. Are you cum drunk again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 45 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: There is, the law that time flows chronologically. Time/chronology is just a human construct. It's just something we need as a species to remind us it's breakfast time, time for the visit to the dentist, time to die etc. And we've got it pretty bang on. The alternative measurements of time passing would be nowhere near as satisfactory. Consider the following conversation (neither protagonist is black or disabled). Person 1) What time is it? Person 2) I don't know. But Halley's Comet has just appeared. P1) I know the last time I asked you what the time was you mentioned Halley's Comet had just appeared, but what time is it now? P2) What are the fucking odds on that? The one and only time I've ever fucking met you Halley's Comet had just appeared, and you asked me the time. The second time I meet you, you ask me the same question - just as Halley's Comet appears again! P1) Oi! Are you the cunt who on the 2 previous occasions Halley's Comet appeared didn't give me a straight answer to the question "what time is it?" P2) Really sorry, mate, but I was distracted, waiting for Fre... Frank to say something funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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