Last Cunt Standing Posted January 21, 2018 Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 Given the collapse of the Pound versus the Euro, people might be looking a little further afield for their two weeks of fun in the sun. Step forward this delightful little place available this Summer, highly rated by Trap Advisor. You’ll find there’s plenty of room around the pool, all the Goat you can eat in the buffet, and the entertainment team will make sure your evening goes with a bang. The recently renovated penthouse suite has a beautiful open-plan feel, with the newly-distressed picture window offering breathtaking views of the Infidel Bar and swim-up USS Cole simulator. For those seeking something different, why not try the Tora Bora experience where you too can try hiding from Hellfire missiles while simultaneously shooting a beheading video for Al-You Tube. A unique incentive scheme means Rotherham Taxi drivers can bring their family for free, including those paler nieces they’ve been hiding in the flat above the Kebab shop. In the evening you can pop down to the Grand Bazar, where you’ll be amazed at the range of suicide vests, Charlie Hebdo memorabilia, photocopied CRB certificates and rectum-sized Heroin packages you can pick up for pennies. Direct-to-building flights with Atta Airways keeps those transfer times to a minimum. Judith Chalmers is a Cunt. Fuck off. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 21, 2018 Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 You sick fuck! Have a 'like' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted January 21, 2018 Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 The Raddison Hotel Group must surely be considering a Radisson Raqqa where family groups can be barrel-bombed by the pool and subjected to Sarin gas attacks whilst sipping an evening cocktail....... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted January 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 If Premier Inn decide to open one of their suburban tramp warehouses in Aleppo, I do hope they send their erstwhile ambassador over there to test the mattresses and gurn into camera for a new TV ad. The prospect of grainy iPhone footage splashed over Al Jazeera of the Dudley Dickhead kneeling on a sand dune in an orange jumpsuit would be the funniest thing he’s done since flanning Sally James on Tiswas. With the exception of his marriage to The Elephantine Vicar of Dibley of course. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 21, 2018 Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 3 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Given the collapse of the Pound versus the Euro, people might be looking a little further afield for their two weeks of fun in the sun. Step forward this delightful little place available this Summer, highly rated by Trap Advisor. You’ll find there’s plenty of room around the pool, all the Goat you can eat in the buffet, and the entertainment team will make sure your evening goes with a bang. The recently renovated penthouse suite has a beautiful open-plan feel, with the newly-distressed picture window offering breathtaking views of the Infidel Bar and swim-up USS Cole simulator. For those seeking something different, why not try the Tora Bora experience where you too can try hiding from Hellfire missiles while simultaneously shooting a beheading video for Al-You Tube. A unique incentive scheme means Rotherham Taxi drivers can bring their family for free, including those paler nieces they’ve been hiding in the flat above the Kebab shop. In the evening you can pop down to the Grand Bazar, where you’ll be amazed at the range of suicide vests, Charlie Hebdo memorabilia, photocopied CRB certificates and rectum-sized Heroin packages you can pick up for pennies. Direct-to-building flights with Atta Airways keeps those transfer times to a minimum. Judith Chalmers is a Cunt. Fuck off. Got to better than anything Premiere Inn have to offer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 21, 2018 Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 Do they have pallative arrangements? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted January 21, 2018 Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 21 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: Do they have pallative arrangements? I believe so. Shall I book you in for a single or twin room. Don't forget your refund if you're not able to get up for the breakfast you senile old hag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted January 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 1 minute ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: I believe so. Shall I book you in for a single or twin room. Don't forget your refund if you're not able to get up for the breakfast you senile old hag. The proprietors have thought of this. Every room has a little card door hanger with the breakfast menu on it so you can have Osama the bell boy bring up a cloche covered tray in the morning. I wouldn’t request the bacon mind you, it has a distinctly Ricin-like aftertaste. And whatever you do, don’t eat the little green chocolate left with your nightly turn down, as you’ll find lifting it off the pillow triggers an IED in the headboard. A thousand rusty nails covered in goat shit going straight for your carotid is the sort of service which made Afghan hospitality famous. Don’t expect a Gideon bible in your nightstand. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted January 21, 2018 Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 21 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Don’t expect a Gideon bible in your nightstand. I nearly finished the Gideon Bible the last time I stayed in a Premier Inn thanks to the fucking maid not replenishing the toilet toll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted January 21, 2018 Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 50 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: The proprietors have thought of this. Every room has a little card door hanger with the breakfast menu on it so you can have Osama the bell boy bring up a cloche covered tray in the morning. I wouldn’t request the bacon mind you, it has a distinctly Ricin-like aftertaste. And whatever you do, don’t eat the little green chocolate left with your nightly turn down, as you’ll find lifting it off the pillow triggers an IED in the headboard. A thousand rusty nails covered in goat shit going straight for your carotid is the sort of service which made Afghan hospitality famous. Don’t expect a Gideon bible in your nightstand. Your posts are too busy. Squeezing all this fucking diatribe shit into every paragraph makes you look like a sap. Less is more. Calm down, breathe, then fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted January 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 46 minutes ago, Frank said: Your posts are too busy. Squeezing all this fucking diatribe shit into every paragraph makes you look like a sap. Less is more. Calm down, breathe, then fuck off. Touched as I am that The Corners’ very own Willie Rushton has taken a break from filming himself gyrating around his Magnet kitchen to give me a little literary criticism, I hope he’ll forgive me if I tell him to go and get himself royally fucked, and take his retarded Simian fanboy with him. You haven’t made me smile in four years you fucking fruitcake. Up is down. Get angry, hyperventilate, then fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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