Guest King Rollo Posted March 1, 2018 Report Share Posted March 1, 2018 1 minute ago, Wizardsleeve said: Do be careful, Ratters. her gaze alone could turn men to stone, and make any bread dough a sourdough. She would have stiff competition from Pen in the infected fanny race, but would inevitably win out, because she wouldn't be caught up Punky's arse! Surely this would give Pen the leading edge? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted March 1, 2018 Report Share Posted March 1, 2018 2 minutes ago, King Rollo said: Surely this would give Pen the leading edge? The feeble, fragile boned cunt should have topped herself years ago. The only interesting aspect to such a race, would be seeing how she manages to cleanse the dried spunk and faeces out of Punky's arse, manage her walking frame and defeat Ann in the race. No mobility scooters allowed, mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 1, 2018 Report Share Posted March 1, 2018 5 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Do be careful, Ratters. her gaze alone could turn men to stone, and make any bread dough a sourdough. She would have stiff competition from Pen in the infected fanny race, but would inevitably win out, because she wouldn't be caught up Punky's arse! wise words indeed Wizzle. Margaret's Thatcher is another work on the drawing board Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 1, 2018 Report Share Posted March 1, 2018 16 hours ago, White van man said: Was going to go to work, then this cunt came along. At least i tried. Maybe he wanted one of your glacier mints 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted March 1, 2018 Report Share Posted March 1, 2018 1 minute ago, ratcum said: wise words indeed Wizzle. Margaret's Thatcher is another work on the drawing board Always have a project in development. This one has an international Adult Video Nude award written all over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest King Rollo Posted March 1, 2018 Report Share Posted March 1, 2018 5 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: The feeble, fragile boned cunt should have topped herself years ago. The only interesting aspect to such a race, would be seeing how she manages to cleanse the dried spunk and faeces out of Punky's arse, manage her walking frame and defeat Ann in the race. No mobility scooters allowed, mind. Perhaps we should shove Ann up there too? Let them fight it out in in his cavernous back passage which, doubtlessly, he would enjoy since they are not men and this would in no way be gay / offensive to his Catholic tastes... The traces of spunk are, alas, more of a mystery ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted March 1, 2018 Report Share Posted March 1, 2018 11 minutes ago, King Rollo said: Perhaps we should shove Ann up there too? Let them fight it out in in his cavernous back passage which, doubtlessly, he would enjoy since they are not men and this would in no way be gay / offensive to his Catholic tastes... The traces of spunk are, alas, more of a mystery ... I have suspicions that Pen is actually a bloke, and at least partly responsible for said semen deposits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gronda Gronda Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 11 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: I have suspicions that Pen is actually a bloke, and at least partly responsible for said semen deposits. The traces of spunk are just leftovers from when he had to take his liquid variation of Communion on Sunday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gronda Gronda Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 52 minutes ago, King Rollo said: Cook had a nasty bout of this. I am a bit suspicious about the bread she produced this morning ... a bit "marmitey"! Your cook is not fit for purpose. Give her some Greek yogurt, antibacterial soap and some training on safe food handling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 4 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said: Your cook is not fit for purpose. Give her some Greek yogurt, antibacterial soap and some training on safe food handling. Wise words Rangdo. Doogy rev. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest King Rollo Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Wise words Rangdo. Doogy rev. 11 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said: Your cook is not fit for purpose. Give her some Greek yogurt, antibacterial soap and some training on safe food handling. I've signed her off til her clunge is clean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gronda Gronda Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 9 minutes ago, King Rollo said: I've signed her off til her clunge is clean. Will you personally inspect the cleanliness on her return? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest King Rollo Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 5 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said: Will you personally inspect the cleanliness on her return? As long as the air is fresh, the cloud of flies disperses and the reek of marmite-marinaded kippers subsides, I'll take it on trust. Last time Wizard inspected up there, though armed with Jamie's magic torch and a canary, he disappeared for a month. Was totally delirious when he finally fell out, kept muttering gibberish about pot-holing in Cheddar Gorge. Canary and torch never seen again - Jamie and Wordsworth were really cross. He also looked like he'd just lost a fight with Slimer from Ghostbusters. I think I'll give it a miss... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 39 minutes ago, King Rollo said: As long as the air is fresh, the cloud of flies disperses and the reek of marmite-marinaded kippers subsides, I'll take it on trust. Last time Wizard inspected up there, though armed with Jamie's magic torch and a canary, he disappeared for a month. Was totally delirious when he finally fell out, kept muttering gibberish about pot-holing in Cheddar Gorge. Canary and torch never seen again - Jamie and Wordsworth were really cross. He also looked like he'd just lost a fight with Slimer from Ghostbusters. I think I'll give it a miss... Wizard stole Jamie's torch? Expect a visit from a constable with a unicycle wheel where his legs should be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest King Rollo Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 14 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Wizard stole Jamie's torch? Expect a visit from a constable with a unicycle wheel where his legs should be. The constable is too busy eating truncheons while cycling round a helter skelter. I think we've got bigger problems ... There's a rumour that Chorlton and the Wheelies are on their way... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 20 hours ago, Wolfie said: A farting cow and rancid breath? I think you may be getting me confused with your wife. At least I don't have to walk around behind her picking up her shit in a bag, I just put her out in the garden, to graze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 20 hours ago, Wolfie said: A farting cow and rancid breath? I think you may be getting me confused with your wife. I don't know the resident grass missed this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Trumpton Bacon Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 9 hours ago, King Rollo said: I think we've got bigger problems ... There's a rumour that Chorlton and the Wheelies are on their way... That'll pale into insignificance when Valdez finally arrives. Ask @ratcum, he'll tell you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest King Rollo Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 2 minutes ago, Trumpton Bacon said: That'll pale into insignificance when Valdez finally arrives. Ask @ratcum, he'll tell you. Sounds bad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 It's been a tough few days in the wilds of Norfolk. The only solace I can take from it is the glimmer of hope that Neil has slipped on the ice and broken his fat fucking neck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 Still about Decs,off to the Bird In Hand for lunch then back home for a wank,care to join me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 1 hour ago, Neil said: Still about Decs,off to the Bird In Hand for lunch then back home for a wank,care to join me? If you pay for lunch, he might wank you off? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 39 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: If you pay for lunch, he might wank you off? That is “lunch”, probably Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 3 hours ago, Decimus said: It's been a tough few days in the wilds of Norfolk. The only solace I can take from it is the glimmer of hope that Neil has slipped on the ice and broken his fat fucking neck. All this snow lying about is highly suggestive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted March 2, 2018 Report Share Posted March 2, 2018 Fuck it. Going shopping . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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