The PSA Test

[Guest DrCunt]

1 hour ago, Frank said:

She may not look as great as she once did, but my God she's special! Try watching this without a trouser twitch at 4:20.

Fuck off.

lol

LOL

 

Special? You're not wrong. She looks like she has Down's syndrome.

If that's causing stirrings in your crusty Y-fronts you really need help Francis, but I guess that's Greeks for you.

[Witheredscrote]

1 minute ago, DrCunt said:

Special? You're not wrong. She looks like she has Down's syndrone.

If that's causing stirrings in your crusty Y-fronts you really need help Francis, but I guess that's Greeks for you.

Well they invented it, didn't they.  Naked mens wrestling, and bean flicking on Lesbos. I'm amazed that Frank doesn't wrap his balls in vine leaves.

[Stubby Pecker]

6 hours ago, ratcum said:

Rat Junior is courting at the moment Grotto.

Let's hope he brings home a nice Jewish girl...

[cuntspotter]

1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Let's hope he brings home a nice Jewish girl...

Now that’s giving me the ‘orn.

[scotty]

1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Let's hope he brings home a nice Jewish girl...

....preferably a live one. 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

17 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

So every third cunt wants one of these at the moment, trooping in zombie-like because the telly/wife/daughter told them so. I even had a young lady ask for one lately, which rather tested my diagrammatic skill. Apparently men need to become every bit as neurotic about their risk of cancer as our XX peers. However, such is the standard of mass journalism that while the benefits of the “cancer test” are pushed heavily, the potential errors and pitfalls are not. 

If you are an entirely asymptomatic 60 year old white male, why the fuck would you want to run the risk of an unnecessary transrectal biopsy? Just because your Dad had it diagnosed by an overzealous house officer at 85 before he (typically) died of some other malady, it doesn’t mean you need to keep a nightly diary of your pissing habits. There are very good reasons the psa test is not used as a mass screening test. Amongst other limitations, it is artificially raised in cyclists, physical activity, urinary infection, ejaculation and sodomy. The Cancer Charity lobby have got hold of this subject and PR’d (ironically) it to death. I’d like to shove their glittery man badges up the rusty sheriff version. 

Leave medicine to the medics, for fucks sake. 

If you want to worry about something, try the coming collapse of Western civilisation, not your fucking prostate.

Oh and it has ONE r. People asking for a Prostrate test can fuck right off. 

After posting, I noted Neil explored this subject in 2016. Apologies for repeat bollocks. 

I'm sure it has occurred to you that many people have been avoiding quacky cunt doctors for years, but they have been informed that they must obtain necessary testing so they turn up on your door?  Perhaps they have discovered a family history they did not know about prior?  I realize I'm giving you quite a wide berth with these assumptions, and a medical genius such as your good self would never jeopardize somebody's health and wellness because you think it's hypochondria run amock.  Or are you such a cunt?  

[Last Cunt Standing]

10 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said:

I'm sure it has occurred to you that many people have been avoiding quacky cunt doctors for years, but they have been informed that they must obtain necessary testing so they turn up on your door?  Perhaps they have discovered a family history they did not know about prior?  I realize I'm giving you quite a wide berth with these assumptions, and a medical genius such as your good self would never jeopardize somebody's health and wellness because you think it's hypochondria run amock.  Or are you such a cunt?  

There are many Cunts at play here Wiz. Here’s three. 

Firstly, the test itself is a major Cunt, given that it has reasonably good negative predictive power but that’s about it. As I explained yesterday, it lacks specificity and is raised in a whole host of non-malignant conditions. A major flaw. 

Secondly is the desire of cancer charities and public health wallahs to drive asymptomatic men to their GP for such a poor test. Thus men are subjected to unnecessary investigation and often dire consequences for their psychological health just to keep the glittery badge sales up. It’s part of a wider drive to over medicalise and stir health anxiety at all ages, because people who are afraid are easier to control. 

Lastly it’s the lamentable levels of information many men arm themselves with before requesting a test, citing an article about Bill Turnbull in the Radio Times as their source material. Rarely has a man even done basic enquiry into what the prostate is and what life might be like without it. 

I wouldn’t deny any man the test after a short conversation and a DRE. It’s this weeks flavour of ice cream. We’ll soon be back on statins, blood pressures and dementia as the sources of mass medical terror. 

[Guest White van man]

22 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

There are many Cunts at play here Wiz. Here’s three. 

Firstly, the test itself is a major Cunt, given that it has reasonably good negative predictive power but that’s about it. As I explained yesterday, it lacks specificity and is raised in a whole host of non-malignant conditions. A major flaw. 

Secondly is the desire of cancer charities and public health wallahs to drive asymptomatic men to their GP for such a poor test. Thus men are subjected to unnecessary investigation and often dire consequences for the psychological health just to keep the glittery badge sales up. It’s part of a wider drive to over medicalise and stir health anxiety at all ages, because people who are afraid are easier to control. 

Lastly it’s the lamentable levels of information many men arm themselves with before requesting a test, citing an article about Bill Turnbull in the Radio Times as their source material. Rarely has a man even done basic enquiry into what the prostate is and what life might be like without it. 

I wouldn’t deny any man the test after a short conversation and a DRE. It’s this weeks flavour of ice cream. We’ll soon be back on statins, blood pressures and dementia as the sources of mass medical terror. 

Just had a quick google on this, I'm no expert, but it appears that a high level of positive result are negative and vice versa. Pointless test really. Any faggot who wants a doctor to stick his finger up their arse, don't sell yourselves short. At least get him to take you for a meal first.

[ratcum]

10 hours ago, scotty said:

....preferably a live one. 

quality

[Neil]

22 hours ago, cuntspotter said:

Nevertheless... Its bit of a fucking worry.

Exactly that...worry,and fucking un neccessary worry at that.My PSA has just been done at 8.9 which is its lowest for 5 years and I've   been told now after 5 years and 3 biopsies that I'm no longer on their radar.If any of you go for this test and its above 6 they'll have you in and start fucking you about thus start the cycle of fear and foreboding which in some cases never fucking ends,and all for fuck all!.Ive known men recently have a reading of over 15 (should be around 4.5 to 5 for a 50 year old,their figures not mine).Following blood test came back at 2.1!,No rhyme nor reason.The last one I had (trans rectal) was a fucking nightmare and I believe probably caused more fucking harm than good.If you want to waste your time reading about it then do so but how the fuck can you worry about something that says "82% of high PSA do not mean you have cancer but 20% of negative results doesn't mean that you haven't got It!.Live your life and forget this bollocks and unless your shitting blood stop fucking worrying. 

[Guest White van man]

30 minutes ago, Neil said:

Exactly that...worry,and fucking un neccessary worry at that.My PSA has just been done at 8.9 which is its lowest for 5 years and I've   been told now after 5 years and 3 biopsies that I'm no longer on their radar.If any of you go for this test and its above 6 they'll have you in and start fucking you about thus start the cycle of fear and foreboding which in some cases never fucking ends,and all for fuck all!.Ive known men recently have a reading of over 15 (should be around 4.5 to 5 for a 50 year old,their figures not mine).Following blood test came back at 2.1!,No rhyme nor reason.The last one I had (trans rectal) was a fucking nightmare and I believe probably caused more fucking harm than good.If you want to waste your time reading about it then do so but how the fuck can you worry about something that says "82% of high PSA do not mean you have cancer but 20% of negative results doesn't mean that you haven't got It!.Live your life and forget this bollocks and unless your shitting blood stop fucking worrying. 

Similar to what i wrote, i would guess a sudden weight loss would be time to act also.

[Last Cunt Standing]

21 minutes ago, Neil said:

Exactly that...worry,and fucking un neccessary worry at that.My PSA has just been done at 8.9 which is its lowest for 5 years and I've   been told now after 5 years and 3 biopsies that I'm no longer on their radar.If any of you go for this test and its above 6 they'll have you in and start fucking you about thus start the cycle of fear and foreboding which in some cases never fucking ends,and all for fuck all!.Ive known men recently have a reading of over 15 (should be around 4.5 to 5 for a 50 year old,their figures not mine).Following blood test came back at 2.1!,No rhyme nor reason.The last one I had (trans rectal) was a fucking nightmare and I believe probably caused more fucking harm than good.If you want to waste your time reading about it then do so but how the fuck can you worry about something that says "82% of high PSA do not mean you have cancer but 20% of negative results doesn't mean that you haven't got It!.Live your life and forget this bollocks and unless your shitting blood stop fucking worrying. 

Amen, Neil. I nominate you to be Health Secretary. 

[Decimus]

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Amen, Neil. I nominate you to be Health Secretary. 

The only thing that you know about arses is how to talk out of one, so take your quack fucking analysis and shove it up your own.

Bullshitting fantasist cunt.

 

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

16 minutes ago, Decimus said:

The only thing that you know about arses is how to talk out of one, so take your quack fucking analysis and shove it up your own.

Bullshitting fantasist cunt.

 

Why can't he be a doctor? After all I am a nuclear electrical engineer with a mate with a massive yacht. 

[Decimus]

15 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said:

 with a mate with a massive yacht. 

Your friends with Frank? Alfie, I thought you had more class than that.

I could buy the nuclear engineer bit, but even for April Fools day it's too far a stretch of the imagination that anyone could be fond of that gangly faggot.

[Last Cunt Standing]

41 minutes ago, Decimus said:

The only thing that you know about arses is how to talk out of one, so take your quack fucking analysis and shove it up your own.

Bullshitting fantasist cunt.

 

I see the Flid King of Norfolk has woken up in an inexplicable grump.

Presumably that paper cut you got leafing through the Norwich sustainable housing policy has gone septic, or perhaps that bundle of 50s you found stuffed in your jacket pocket in the bar at the last land auction has turned out to be badly photocopied garbage. 

Or maybe you didn’t get an Easter egg, or a nosh from the missus dressed as an Easter Bunny. 

Whatever. Get back to your dreary little life. 

[Guest judgetwi]

15 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I see the Flid King of Norfolk has woken up in an inexplicable grump.

Presumably that paper cut you got leafing through the Norwich sustainable housing policy has gone septic, or perhaps that bundle of 50s you found stuffed in your jacket pocket in the bar at the last land auction has turned out to be badly photocopied garbage. 

Or maybe you didn’t get an Easter egg, or a nosh from the missus dressed as an Easter Bunny. 

Whatever. Get back to your dreary little life. 

He’s right. It’s about time you made up some life for yourself that is far more glamorous and imbued with a higher social status. If you can’t be Billy Bigbollocks on t’internet what’s the point?

Love to stay and chat but my co-pilot has just reminded me that the flight to LAX is waiting for me.

Toodle loo! 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

14 hours ago, White van man said:

Just had a quick google on this, I'm no expert, but it appears that a high level of positive result are negative and vice versa. Pointless test really. Any faggot who wants a doctor to stick his finger up their arse, don't sell yourselves short. At least get him to take you for a meal first.

Even a little candle light and a glass of wine...perhaps a still frame of a fit bird taking it up her back pipe in pain, would be a significant improvement.