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Welsh Theatre Awards

Decimus

By Decimus
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Decimus

Decimus

Posted
Posted

I wasn't aware that Wales was cultured enough to warrant having its own theatre awards. Apparently though, there is indeed a market for plays without vowels in their scripts and where audience participation involves the front five rows of the audience being showered in globules of the actors spit.

Anyway, this shit has been cancelled due to the furore surrounding one of the shortlisted plays, which contains white actors playing black roles.

Apparently, it's OK to have a load of shines on TV wandering around mediaeval England and playing Little John in Robin Hood adaptations, as this falls under the umbrella of "colour blind casting". But cast a white man as Othello or Huggy Bear and all of a sudden the Twittersphere is up in arms and screaming "Racism". 

If Idris Elba is cast as the next James Bond, I expect the Baftas to be similarly cancelled due to the outrage of some right-on faggot film critic. Except it won't be.

 

 

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Eric Cuntman

Eric Cuntman

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I wasn't aware that Wales was cultured enough to warrant having its own theatre awards. Apparently though, there is indeed a market for plays without vowels in their scripts and where audience participation involves the front five rows of the audience being showered in globules of the actors spit.

Anyway, this shit has been cancelled due to the furore surrounding one of the shortlisted plays, which contains white actors playing black roles.

Apparently, it's OK to have a load of shines on TV wandering around mediaeval England and playing Little John in Robin Hood adaptations, as this falls under the umbrella of "colour blind casting". But cast a white man as Othello or Huggy Bear and all of a sudden the Twittersphere is up in arms and screaming "Racism". 

If Idris Elba is cast as the next James Bond, I expect the Baftas to be similarly cancelled due to the outrage of some right-on faggot film critic. Except it won't be.

 

 

If Idris Elba was cast as James Bond, he will immediately start fucking whining again if he doesn't win best actor at the oscars. More accusations of institutional racism within the film industry, and a multitude of snowflakes offering support on twitter. Astonishing that a cunt who has accumulated over a hundred million for little more than prancing around in front of a camera, can feel justified in playing the victim. It must be terrible for him, wondering which colour Maserati to buy this week.

Ungrateful fucking racist cunt. I want him dead.

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Guest Queefer

Guest Queefer

Posted
Posted

James Bond films remain rooted in Ian Fleming's 1950'sand 1960's Britain, the very time when Idris Elba's forebears were shuffling down the gangplank of the good ship Windrush and asking directions to the Notting Hill Labour Exchange. When white Caucasian actors get the lead parts in films about Idi Amin, Nelson Mandela and Cassius Clay shall I accept that ethnicity is irrelevant. Whingeing luvvie cunt 

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Jiggerycock

Jiggerycock

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Posted

 

Peter

Miss Rigby! Stella, my love! Would you please send in the next auditioner, please. Mr. Spiggott, I believe it is. (enter Dudley, hopping on one leg)

Peter

Mr. Spiggott, I believe?

Dudley

Yes, Spiggott by name, Spiggott by nature. (keeps hopping)

Peter

Yes...if you'd like to remain motionless for a moment, Mr. Spiggott. Please be stood. Now, Mr. Spiggott you are, I believe, auditioning for the part of Tarzan?

Dudley

Right.

Peter

Now, Mr. Spiggott, I couldn't help noticing almost at once that you are a one-legged person.

Dudley

You noticed that?

Peter

I noticed that, Mr. Spiggott. When you have been in the business as long as I have you come to notice these things almost instinctively. Now, Mr. Spiggott, you, a one-legged man, are applying for the role of Tarzan - a role which, traditionally, involves the use of a two-legged actor.

Dudley

Correct.

Peter

And yet you, a unidexter, are applying for the role.

Dudley

Right.

Peter

A role for which two legs would seem to be the minimum requirement.

Dudley

Very true.

Peter

Well, Mr. Spiggott, need I point out to you where your deficiency lies as regards landing the role?

Dudley

Yes, I think you ought to.

Peter

Need I say without overmuch emphasis that it is in the leg division that you are deficient.

Dudley

The leg division?

Peter

Yes, the leg division, Mr. Spiggott. You are deficient in it to the tune of one. Your right leg I like. I like your right leg. A lovely leg for the role. That's what I said when I saw you come in. I said "A lovely leg for the role." I've got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is - neither have you. You fall down on your left.

Dudley

You mean it's inadequate?

Peter

Yes, it's inadequate, Mr. Spiggott. And, to my mind, the British public is not ready for the sight of a one-legged apeman swinging through the jungly tendrils.

Fifty years ago, that was comedy

in 2018, it would be the prime evidence in a discrimination case - and Pete wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

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Guest Wizardsleeve

Guest Wizardsleeve

Posted
Posted

I would destroy my library of Bond DVD's if the braying cunt is cast.  Bond is a beloved character, but so is M, Q, and Moneypenny.  Idris Alba as Bond, Elton John as M, Chaz Bono as Q, RuPaul as Moneypenny?  Felix Leiter can be played by any old Jihadi johnny cunt....Cast one whinging cunt into a major role, and you hurl yourself down the slippery slope of franchise implosion.  

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Witheredscrote

Witheredscrote

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Decimus said:

I wasn't aware that Wales was cultured enough to warrant having its own theatre awards. Apparently though, there is indeed a market for plays without vowels in their scripts and where audience participation involves the front five rows of the audience being showered in globules of the actors spit.

Anyway, this shit has been cancelled due to the furore surrounding one of the shortlisted plays, which contains white actors playing black roles.( Reduntant coal miners)

Apparently, it's OK to have a load of shines on TV wandering around mediaeval England and playing Little John in Robin Hood adaptations, as this falls under the umbrella of "colour blind casting". But cast a white man as Othello or Huggy Bear (aka Bubba Bore)and all of a sudden the Twittersphere is up in arms and screaming "Racism". 

If Idris Elba is cast as the next James Bond, I expect the Baftas to be similarly cancelled due to the outrage of some right-on faggot film critic. Except it won't be.

 

 

Look you boyo.

Edited by Witheredscrote
I have reported myself, you fucking grass.
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Decimus

Decimus

Posted
  • Author
Posted
4 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

EriC with a big C

Whilst you're here, perhaps you can explain something that's been troubling me for quite some time.

In the olden days, you used to get an absolute fucking pasting from Bill and I. Yet for some reason, you hold the most contempt for Bubbles, whose baiting of you in latter years has been less brutal than what the boy and I inflicted. 

So why does he attract the majority of your bile? And don't say grassing, because I've dobbed you in more times than you've contracted avian gonorrhea.

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Witheredscrote

Witheredscrote

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Whilst you're here, perhaps you can explain something that's been troubling me for quite some time.

In the olden days, you used to get an absolute fucking pasting from Bill and I. Yet for some reason, you hold the most contempt for Bubbles, whose baiting of you in latter years has been less brutal than what the boy and I inflicted. 

So why does he attract the majority of your bile? And don't say grassing, because I've dobbed you in more times than you've contracted avian gonorrhea.

I will say grassing. From day One I had 'likes' sneakily removed one by one, by him, QC, and others. The mods didn't do a thing about it, simply because I didn't involve them. He grassed me big time, and he has scurried off, like the loathsome turd he is. Fuck him, the stunted redundant pit prop. I want him dead, he has no style, unlike Bill.

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Eric Cuntman

Eric Cuntman

Posted
Posted
11 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Whilst you're here, perhaps you can explain something that's been troubling me for quite some time.

In the olden days, you used to get an absolute fucking pasting from Bill and I. Yet for some reason, you hold the most contempt for Bubbles, whose baiting of you in latter years has been less brutal than what the boy and I inflicted. 

So why does he attract the majority of your bile? And don't say grassing, because I've dobbed you in more times than you've contracted avian gonorrhea.

It's prejudice borne of his aristocratic lineage. Apparently the rapist who sired him was Waffen SS, not just any rank and file squarehead.

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camberwell gypsy

camberwell gypsy

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

If Idris Elba was cast as James Bond, he will immediately start fucking whining again if he doesn't win best actor at the oscars. More accusations of institutional racism within the film industry, and a multitude of snowflakes offering support on twitter. Astonishing that a cunt who has accumulated over a hundred million for little more than prancing around in front of a camera, can feel justified in playing the victim. It must be terrible for him, wondering which colour Maserati to buy this week.

Ungrateful fucking racist cunt. I want him dead.

That would be something wouldn't it, if Elba got the James Bond gig and get nominated for best actor Oscar, considering that no bond film has ever had a best actor nomination*

*No doubt some know-it-all cunt will prove me wrong. But I couldn't be fucking arsed to Google it. 

Goldfinger was a cunt 

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Cuntybaws

Cuntybaws

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

That would be something wouldn't it, if Elba got the James Bond gig and get nominated for best actor Oscar, considering that no bond film has ever had a best actor nomination*

*No doubt some know-it-all cunt will prove me wrong. But I couldn't be fucking arsed to Google it. 

Goldfinger was a cunt 

I think the closest was when Judi Dench was nominated for, and won, best supporting actress in Skyfall.

Some fat pie-eating cunt also won an Oscar for its soundtrack.

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