King Billy Posted April 30, 2019 Report Share Posted April 30, 2019 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: In Canvey and Jaywick, they keep hold of the 3 litre Frosty Jack bottles, to use as flotation devices when they get flooded. When the missus runs out of tenas . The Essex tsunami Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted April 30, 2019 Report Share Posted April 30, 2019 4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: In Canvey and Jaywick, they keep hold of the 3 litre Frosty Jack bottles, to use as flotation devices when they get flooded. I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 1, 2019 Report Share Posted May 1, 2019 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: Yeah, but, when all the people leave and it gets dark, do all the dinosaurs and stuffed monkeys and miniature roman soldiers come to life? I lost my mummy in there years ago. Too many bad memories for me. Rumour has it she abandoned me deliberately. When they peeled off her bandages though there was fuck all inside. No one’s ever been able to figure it out. And my dad wasn’t much better. He was a gay magician. Cunt disappeared with a ‘Poof’ Boom! Boom! Hasn’t done me any lasting damage though. Best thing that’s ever happened to me, probably. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 1, 2019 Report Share Posted May 1, 2019 On 28/04/2019 at 22:13, judgetwi said: The first time I went to Carrotcruncher Road I asked some parking warden cunt if I was ok to park in this road. Oh yes, he said....guided me in and gave me the thumbs up. Anyway we lost 2-0, I think, but I remember that fat Jock cunt Robert Fleck scoring and parading in front of us giving us the fingers the wanker. When I came out of that shithole needless to say I had a fucking parking ticket. I’ve hated those yellow bastards ever since. I understand that Robert is now a classroom assistant in one of Norwich’s many “special schools”. It doesn’t say much for Jockland that he chose to spend his retirement in that backward cunthole rather than return to the land of his birth. Let’s hope the yellow bastards get a lot of Sunday games next season. Then at least I won’t have to put up with the slimeball Gary Taxdodger while watching them being taken apart on MOTD. Gary only works one day a week for £2 million of my fucking money. Doesn’t stop this champagne socialist lecturing me about how democracy doesn’t count when it doesn’t go his way though. Parking ticket? Your a blue badge holder for fucks sake, cheeky cunts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 2, 2019 Report Share Posted May 2, 2019 On 30/04/2019 at 23:13, judgetwi said: A mate of mine’s son is a student who does part time as a security guard in the British Museum. There are rooms between the galleries where there are nice comfy chairs with power points low down where the cleaners plug in their hoovers and shit. They regularly have young , well dressed, Iranian/Iraqui “refugees” who sit there charging up their phones. That , in itself , wouldn’t be a problem but, after they have stolen our electricity they then mix with the crowds and get their filthy A-rab fingers into the tourists’ bags. They used to throw them out as soon as they walked through the door but then they learned a new English word......raaaay-sism! Now they sit there charging their phones before the OB turn up and ask them to leave. This is the reality of “open borders”. Coming to a nice Norfolk community sooner than you think. You seem rather perturbed by all those darkies in the backpack brigade drowning out the sound of the Bow Bells with their improvised explosive devices. I'd hate to think of you getting blown to smithereens, so why don't you come up to Norfolk and bask in the 1950s? I promise that no one will blow you up, unless that is you bump into me after I've had a few Guinness's after watching Black '47. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 2, 2019 Report Share Posted May 2, 2019 On 30/04/2019 at 23:13, judgetwi said: A mate of mine’s son is a student who does part time as a security guard in the British Museum. There are rooms between the galleries where there are nice comfy chairs with power points low down where the cleaners plug in their hoovers and shit. They regularly have young , well dressed, Iranian/Iraqui “refugees” who sit there charging up their phones. That , in itself , wouldn’t be a problem but, after they have stolen our electricity they then mix with the crowds and get their filthy A-rab fingers into the tourists’ bags. They used to throw them out as soon as they walked through the door but then they learned a new English word......raaaay-sism! Now they sit there charging their phones before the OB turn up and ask them to leave. This is the reality of “open borders”. Coming to a nice Norfolk community sooner than you think. Echoing Dec's sentiment, I think the time has come for you to follow in the footsteps of many, and leave the Smoke for good. Time to take down the UKIP posters that adorn the windows of your flat, your on the 13th floor anyway no cunts gonna see them. Along with your silver jubilee commemorative plate, put the union jack to half mast and admit defeat. If you don't fancy Norfolk there's always Avon & Somerset. We have a few folks down here that are afflicted with the tar brush but not to many and very few thieving A-rabs. Flared trousers are the height of fashion here at the moment, so you're ahead of the curve. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 2, 2019 Report Share Posted May 2, 2019 1 hour ago, Decimus said: You seem rather perturbed by all those darkies in the backpack brigade drowning out the sound of the Bow Bells with their improvised explosive devices. I'd hate to think of you getting blown to smithereens, so why don't you come up to Norfolk and bask in the 1950s? I promise that no one will blow you up, unless that is you bump into me after I've had a few Guinness's after watching Black '47. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted May 2, 2019 Report Share Posted May 2, 2019 27 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: Echoing Dec's sentiment, I think the time has come for you to follow in the footsteps of many, and leave the Smoke for good. Time to take down the UKIP posters that adorn the windows of your flat, your on the 13th floor anyway no cunts gonna see them. Along with your silver jubilee commemorative plate, put the union jack to half mast and admit defeat. If you don't fancy Norfolk there's always Avon & Somerset. We have a few folks down here that are afflicted with the tar brush but not to many and very few thieving A-rabs. Flared trousers are the height of fashion here at the moment, so you're ahead of the curve. So you are from Brizzle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 2, 2019 Report Share Posted May 2, 2019 6 minutes ago, The Guard said: So you are from Brizzle. I'm gonna quote another member here. Its not prudent to disclose personal circumstances, you should know that more than most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted May 2, 2019 Report Share Posted May 2, 2019 3 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: I'm gonna quote another member here. Its not prudent to disclose personal circumstances, you should know that more than most. I am from England. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 3, 2019 Report Share Posted May 3, 2019 16 hours ago, The Guard said: So you are from Brizzle. I reside in Bristol but wasn't born here, most locals seem to have an IQ of below 50, it's pleasant though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 3, 2019 Report Share Posted May 3, 2019 35 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: I reside in Bristol but wasn't born here, most locals seem to have an IQ of below 50, it's pleasant though! Bristol, according to an old Aussie mucker of mine is "not the arsehole of the world- but you can see it from there" I'm not inclined to disagree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 3, 2019 Report Share Posted May 3, 2019 4 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Bristol, according to an old Aussie mucker of mine is "not the arsehole of the world- but you can see it from there" I'm not inclined to disagree. Well you can see Wales from it Stubbs however I detect a hint of sarcasm! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 3, 2019 Report Share Posted May 3, 2019 1 minute ago, Major Cunt said: Well you can see Wales from it Stubbs however I detect a hint of sarcasm! I'll be passing over the bridge later and past your manor (not stopping thank fuck). Wave if you see the pecker mobile doing a good 50mph all the way in the middle lane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 3, 2019 Report Share Posted May 3, 2019 1 minute ago, Stubby Pecker said: I'll be passing over the bridge later and past your manor (not stopping thank fuck). Wave if you see the pecker mobile doing a good 50mph all the way in the middle lane. I'll keep me eyes open for possibly a B plate Austin Allegro, Reliant Robin or a pimped out purple Mobility Scooter, driven by a geezer in a sheepskin with a flat cap. Safe journey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted May 3, 2019 Report Share Posted May 3, 2019 11 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: I'll be passing over the bridge later and past your manor (not stopping thank fuck). Wave if you see the pecker mobile doing a good 50mph all the way in the middle lane. You heading this way Stubby? There's a bridge by Tiverton Parkway Station .. I can wave at you from it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 4, 2019 Report Share Posted May 4, 2019 On 03/05/2019 at 14:02, Stubby Pecker said: I'll be passing over the bridge later and past your manor (not stopping thank fuck). Wave if you see the pecker mobile doing a good 50mph all the way in the middle lane. I'm not buying it Stubbs, there's no way your get 50 outta that motor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted May 5, 2019 Report Share Posted May 5, 2019 On 02/05/2019 at 20:26, Major Cunt said: Echoing Dec's sentiment Well you would wouldn’t you? What you gonna do arselicker? Grow a pair overnight? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted May 5, 2019 Report Share Posted May 5, 2019 I am trying to run the battery down on my phone but it is too fast for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 5, 2019 Report Share Posted May 5, 2019 1 hour ago, The Guard said: I am trying to run the battery down on my phone but it is too fast for me. You being run down by a 40 ton truck is the only news I want to hear concerning you. Fuck off 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 5, 2019 Report Share Posted May 5, 2019 9 hours ago, judgetwi said: Well you would wouldn’t you? What you gonna do arselicker? Grow a pair overnight? 9 hours ago, judgetwi said: Well you would wouldn’t you? What you gonna do arselicker? Grow a pair overnight? Stop shouting you silly cunt, your gonna spill Super T over your new slippers, plus probably wake your old dear up, the walls are thin in those council bedsit's, know what I mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted May 5, 2019 Report Share Posted May 5, 2019 1 hour ago, King Billy said: You being run down by a 40 ton truck is the only news I want to hear concerning you. Fuck off You coming to see me at the brexit rally tomorrow? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 5, 2019 Report Share Posted May 5, 2019 11 hours ago, King Billy said: You being run down by a 40 ton truck is the only news I want to hear concerning you. Fuck off I'm warming to you billy and starting to wish you not to die in a horrendously painful way. Get a fucking avatar 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 5, 2019 Report Share Posted May 5, 2019 3 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: I'm warming to you billy and starting to wish you not to die in a horrendously painful way. Get a fucking avatar Indeed Stubbs I'm finding myself nodding in agreement. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted May 5, 2019 Report Share Posted May 5, 2019 3 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: I'm warming to you billy and starting to wish you not to die in a horrendously painful way. Get a fucking avatar I don't trust his arse Stub. He might be one of these sentient cervixes that have been cropping up recently. Israeli I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.