Combatting Covid - CC Advice

[ratcum]

3 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Order it off ebay. It takes a fortnight but it does eventually arrive. 

Just don't do what I did and lose patience and buy from another supplier - last Thursday I had one 200ml bottle arrive with three 50ml bottles only to have another 250ml arrive a few hours later by courier... and another 150ml show up on Monday... Considering a 50ml bottle can last me a fortnight if I'm not a div and use it at home instead if soap and water I should be pretty set... Just have to remember not to smoke near the sink drawer I've stashed it all in. 

you Serbian dog

[Jiggerycock]

Do cyclists have immunity to Covid-19?

I only ask, since I drove out the other day to take some supplies to my family and I counted at least a hundred of the buggers, all in groups (fuck social distancing!) , all looking very athletic and totally smug, as if their moral superiority was a force field against viral infections.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said:

Do cyclists have immunity to Covid-19?

I only ask, since I drove out the other day to take some supplies to my family and I counted at least a hundred of the buggers, all in groups (fuck social distancing!) , all looking very athletic and totally smug, as if their moral superiority was a force field against viral infections.

Fortunately, not jigg's, and so there is no better time to cull the fuckers than now. Congregated cyclists who en masse, tend to be up the arse saddle-sniffing shit-peddlers, and so give them a little wave with a snot-laden Kleenex and bob will be your uncle. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

With the expected and belated announcement that "wearing masks" will in fact save you after all,  is there any room in our society for compulsory Burka wearing before venturing outside into the unknown & hostile world around us during "The Escaped from a fridge in Whuan Plague?"  After all, these one-size fits all garments come complete with an all-in-one gown, head covering and mouth-shield, and their neutral colour-shade of Black allows the wearer to go-about their business undetected in the dark. Furthermore, if they're good enough for DWFs mother, then???

Edited April 23, 2020 by 'eavensabove
WASHING MY HANDS FOR 20 SECONDS

[White Cunt]

2 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Do cyclists have immunity to Covid-19?

I only ask, since I drove out the other day to take some supplies to my family and I counted at least a hundred of the buggers, all in groups (fuck social distancing!) , all looking very athletic and totally smug, as if their moral superiority was a force field against viral infections.

It's mind over matter with them, Jiggy -  unless they get too close to a knackered post 14 hour shift essential worker.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

THE BEST ADVICE AVAILABLE

 

 

 

 

[Major Cunt]

15 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Yeah, shame on me. How long did you spend in prison?

I was merely an entrepreneur, Roops. Providing beneficial herbs to punters.

A five year sentence hardly fits the crime does it?

[Guest 'eavensabove]

6 minutes ago, White Cunt said:

It's mind over matter with them, Jiggy -  unless they get too close to a knackered post 14 hour shift essential worker.

in as much, as they don't mind that we do not matter. 

[Mrs Roops]

56 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

I was merely an entrepreneur, Roops. Providing beneficial herbs to punters.

A five year sentence hardly fits the crime does it?

I agree, it should've been double or treble that.

So you had a significant or leading role in smuggling drugs?  I presume your barrister laid on the mitigation, unsophisticated...poor thinking skills...easily led by brother - the usual stuff?

[Major Cunt]

5 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

I agree, it should've been double or treble that.

So you had a significant or leading role in smuggling drugs?  I presume your barrister laid on the mitigation, unsophisticated...poor thinking skills...easily led by brother - the usual stuff?

Nope. The barrister was incredibly sophisticated and painted a story of youthful adventure gone wrong. Certainly not the main conspirator of the importation. However the laws the law.

Maybe I should have nonced off a few kids and destroyed their lives, seeing as I would have received half my sentence.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

11 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

I agree, it should've been double or treble that.

So you had a significant or leading role in smuggling drugs?  I presume your barrister laid on the mitigation, unsophisticated...poor thinking skills...easily led by brother - the usual stuff?

He should be commended Mrs R, for at least being somewhat enterprising rather than blading those on his housing estate for their trainers and mobile phones. He does after all have to earn himself some kind of a crust, I imagine? 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

Are you suffering from Isolated Stress?

House bricks at the ready, Comrades.

It's Sir Lenny's Big Night In at 7:00pm... Let's all give the NHS Clappers a good run for their money. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

THE BEST ADVICE FOR YOU ENGLISH ASIANS

 

[Mrs Roops]

1 hour ago, Major Cunt said:

Nope. The barrister was incredibly sophisticated and painted a story of youthful adventure gone wrong. Certainly not the main conspirator of the importation. However the laws the law.

Maybe I should have nonced off a few kids and destroyed their lives, seeing as I would have received half my sentence.

The barrister did you a disservice, "C'mon m'lud, he was only having a laugh". It would have been better to paint you as an incompetent with mild learning difficulties. Petition for a re-trial and I'll appear as a witness for your defence and cross swords with the prosecution - for free. I have to say if you had what would be described as a "lesser role" your sentence would be significantly less so we'll stick with you having a "significant" (worse) or "leading" (middling) role, unless of course we're talking something a bit more serious than the importation of dodgy herbs.⚗️💉

[Jake The Muss]

Social distancing really isn't a problem for me, they can keep that fucker for as long as they want.

[camberwell gypsy]

5 hours ago, 'eavensabove said:

THE BEST ADVICE AVAILABLE

 

 

 

 

Why the fuck is David Walliams doing standing there in the red tie? 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

6 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Why the fuck is David Walliams doing standing there in the red tie? 

Swimming/rimming pal Duncan Goodhew is giving him a fisting. 

[camberwell gypsy]

1 minute ago, 'eavensabove said:

Swimming/rimming pal Duncan Goodhew is giving him a fisting. 

All the people standing there look like something out of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. The bald bloke looks like a fucking lobotomy case 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

7 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

All the people standing there look like something out of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. The bald bloke looks like a fucking lobotomy case 

It's undoubtedly a spoof. Ted Heath (far Right) is dead and so too is Wilfred Bramble, stood next to him.

The voice-over however, is credible and 100% genuine in as much as somebody really did say it. I reckon.    

Edited April 23, 2020 by 'eavensabove
WASHING MY HANDS FOR 20 SECONDS

[camberwell gypsy]

3 hours ago, 'eavensabove said:

THE BEST ADVICE FOR YOU ENGLISH ASIANS

 

 

[Major Cunt]

4 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

The barrister did you a disservice, "C'mon m'lud, he was only having a laugh". It would have been better to paint you as an incompetent with mild learning difficulties. Petition for a re-trial and I'll appear as a witness for your defence and cross swords with the prosecution - for free. I have to say if you had what would be described as a "lesser role" your sentence would be significantly less so we'll stick with you having a "significant" (worse) or "leading" (middling) role, unless of course we're talking something a bit more serious than the importation of dodgy herbs.⚗️💉

Well fuck me. Is there no end to your talents? Maybe we should call you "Roopal of the Baily". It's a cunning strategy to call you as a defence witness, as you'd no doubt send the Judge to sleep mid trial through speaking utter bollocks.

It's called supply and demand baby, and until this country legalises ganja the waste of police and court resources shall continue.

How's the view from your ivory tower? You insufferable prat.

[King Billy]

4 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

Well fuck me. Is there no end to your talents? Maybe we should call you "Roopal of the Baily". It's a cunning strategy to call you as a defence witness, as you'd no doubt send the Judge to sleep mid trial through speaking utter bollocks.

It's called supply and demand baby, and until this country legalises ganja the waste of police and court resources shall continue.

How's the view from your ivory tower? You insufferable prat.

Now you’ve gone and done it Major. Fasten your seat belt and clinch your buttocks. You do realise that the bat flu stew will be a distant memory by the time you read what’s coming your way.

[Stubby Pecker]

3 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Now you’ve gone and done it Major. Fasten your seat belt and clinch your buttocks. You do realise that the bat flu stew will be a distant memory by the time you read what’s coming your way.

I'm not sure if the good major has spent time in the CC cooler but his five years porridge would have been a cake walk compared to the humiliation and torture of that place. 

I had to share a cell with franks wife's corpse- I used a dried cunt flap to bite down on when roops came in to administer punishment beatings. Quincy is still there, 6 months into a dirty protest

[Major Cunt]

1 minute ago, King Billy said:

Now you’ve gone and done it Major. Fasten your seat belt and clinch your buttocks. You do realise that the bat flu stew will be a distant memory by the time you read what’s coming your way.

Fuck her, Bill. I'm sick and tired of her acting as the corners moral compass. She lives in proclaimed opulence and has probably never visited our stomping ground mate. It's easy for her to take cheap digs on us working class blokes, and she hates the fact that we're able to wind her up at will.

In the words of Uncle Ape unbearable!

[Major Cunt]

2 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

I'm not sure if the good major has spent time in the CC cooler but his five years porridge would have been a cake walk compared to the humiliation and torture of that place. 

I had to share a cell with franks wife's corpse- I used a dried cunt flap to bite down on when roops came in to administer punishment beatings. Quincy is still there, 6 months into a dirty protest

I've done a few stints in the cooler Stubbs, and it isn't a patch on the Scrubs. I was having a conversation with Quince out the window and he told me he's up for parole. I informed him of the dire situation here at CC, and he's keen to offer any newbie a turd to chew on.