Schoolboy on plastic bicycle wins Tour de France

[ChildeHarold]

Forgive me for being a grumpy old whiner, and cycling friendly, but since the OTT ritual public de-throning of Lance Armstrong hasn't this event passed into the realm of sheer boring television for fanatics only? Gone are the days of exciting duels between realistic men such as Jan Ullrich, Marco Pantini and Armstrong laying it all on the line for Tour glory, their health their life even. Sure, they were technical, with team and tactics deployed like a precision Swiss watch. Sure they were busy injecting themselves in the thigh and faking urine samples. But they themselves weren't fakes like the presentday "competitors" in the sport, with their total lack of life experience, inability to communicate, failure to inspire. These boring cunts like Froome and Pojacar can't hold a candle (and neither can  commentators like chirpy David Millar or dull Chris Boardman, a fucking pair of Coronation Street gossips, compared with the late Paul Sherwen and living legend Phil Leggett with their entertaining and informative banter) to the great cyclists of the past. These were men who seemed to have stepped out of the pages of Edgar Rice Burroughs' novels such as Tarzan and John Carpenter validating Ray Bradbury's assessment that he was the greatest writer of the last century because he inspired a generation of boys to go into the world with the belief they could be special. And now instead of the superhuman battles of the past we have this fucking shitty little creep boring us silly as with the whole fucking set up of the neatly calculated Tour:

 

[Cuntybaws]

Did you have a Chopper as a child?

[Cunty BigBollox]

26 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Did you have a Chopper as a child?

He's a Childe, he would have had a Chipper.

[ChildeHarold]

31 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Did you have a Chopper as a child?

Don't start me off about my chopper!

[ChildeHarold]

33 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Did you have a Chopper as a child?

I expected a lycra joke from you Paws. You disappoint my (due to high altitude training and not two months on a Dyson ventilator) oxygen drenched brain. 

[Major Cunt]

It's been all over ITV4 and ruining a favourite channel of mine. The sort of cunts who enjoy watching this shite no doubt have several lycra outfits, and a five grand bike they like to be spotted on. I throughly enjoy watching the Sweeney and the Professionals as it reminds of a time when men were blokes. Jack Reagan making off the cuff remarks about darkies, and George Carter eyeing up birds, "what do you reckon on that guvnor?", "not half George". Throw in a few soon to be Eastenders stars as blaggers and hookers, and it's a recipe for success with your average bloke.

I was born after my time as it seems as the world's now fawning over transvestites and fucking queers. Fuck me, even Martin Shaw with his perm puts these millennials to shame. I suggest any bloke under 40 puts his hands down his trousers, and checks he's still got a pair of bollocks!

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Major Cunt said:

It's been all over ITV4 and ruining a favourite channel of mine. The sort of cunts who enjoy watching this shite no doubt have several lycra outfits, and a five grand bike they like to be spotted on. I throughly enjoy watching the Sweeney and the Professionals as it reminds of a time when men were blokes. Jack Reagan making off the cuff remarks about darkies, and George Carter eyeing up birds, "what do you reckon on that guvnor?", "not half George". Throw in a few soon to be Eastenders stars as blaggers and hookers, and it's a recipe for success with your average bloke.

I was born after my time as it seems as the world's now fawning over transvestites and fucking queers. Fuck me, even Martin Shaw with his perm puts these millennials to shame. I suggest any bloke under 40 puts his hands down his trousers, and checks he's still got a pair of bollocks!

If the bloke had a Raleigh Chopper as a kid, he may not have a pair of bollocks. Silly place to mount a gear lever.

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Major Cunt said:

It's been all over ITV4 and ruining a favourite channel of mine. The sort of cunts who enjoy watching this shite no doubt have several lycra outfits, and a five grand bike they like to be spotted on. I throughly enjoy watching the Sweeney and the Professionals as it reminds of a time when men were blokes. Jack Reagan making off the cuff remarks about darkies, and George Carter eyeing up birds, "what do you reckon on that guvnor?", "not half George". Throw in a few soon to be Eastenders stars as blaggers and hookers, and it's a recipe for success with your average bloke.

I was born after my time as it seems as the world's now fawning over transvestites and fucking queers. Fuck me, even Martin Shaw with his perm puts these millennials to shame. I suggest any bloke under 40 puts his hands down his trousers, and checks he's still got a pair of bollocks!

Gene Hunt, tooled up and sliding the Quattro sideways round a corner. Smoking a B&H with Motörhead blasting out of the Pioneer cassette player.

What a fucking time to have been a policeman.

[Major Cunt]

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Gene Hunt, tooled up and sliding the Quattro sideways round a corner. Smoking a B&H with Motörhead blasting out of the Pioneer cassette player.

What a fucking time to have been a policeman.

'Ashes to Ashes' is far better than 'Life on Mars', imo. Probably because I remember the 80's, but I reckon its Keeley Hawes a true English rose! 

[Eric Cuntman]

35 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

'Ashes to Ashes' is far better than 'Life on Mars', imo. Probably because I remember the 80's, but I reckon its Keeley Hawes a true English rose! 

Keeley was forced to take elocution classes in drama school. She had a hefty East End accent and couldn't do posh to save her life. You'd never think it now. I'd shag her rotten.

I would however be torn between ploughing her furrow and taking the Gene Genie's Audi for a spin. I'd try and fit both in.

[camberwell gypsy]

5 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

Forgive me for being a grumpy old whiner, and cycling friendly, but since the OTT ritual public de-throning of Lance Armstrong hasn't this event passed into the realm of sheer boring television for fanatics only? Gone are the days of exciting duels between realistic men such as Jan Ullrich, Marco Pantini and Armstrong laying it all on the line for Tour glory, their health their life even. Sure, they were technical, with team and tactics deployed like a precision Swiss watch. Sure they were busy injecting themselves in the thigh and faking urine samples. But they themselves weren't fakes like the presentday "competitors" in the sport, with their total lack of life experience, inability to communicate, failure to inspire. These boring cunts like Froome and Pojacar can't hold a candle (and neither can  commentators like chirpy David Millar or dull Chris Boardman, a fucking pair of Coronation Street gossips, compared with the late Paul Sherwen and living legend Phil Leggett with their entertaining and informative banter) to the great cyclists of the past. These were men who seemed to have stepped out of the pages of Edgar Rice Burroughs' novels such as Tarzan and John Carpenter validating Ray Bradbury's assessment that he was the greatest writer of the last century because he inspired a generation of boys to go into the world with the belief they could be special. And now instead of the superhuman battles of the past we have this fucking shitty little creep boring us silly as with the whole fucking set up of the neatly calculated Tour:

Lance Armstrong was a fucking cheating cunt. 

Which was nothing new, because 80% of competitors in the history of the TdF were a bunch of cheating cunts as well. A good book for your attention is 'Put me back on my bike"  about the british rider Tom Simpson who, with his system choc full of drugs, died on the infamous Mount Ventoux in 1967.

The TdF has been tarnished with riders taking performance enhancing drugs to such an extent that even today winners performances are tinged with suspicion. But Britain dominating the tour for years certainly fucks off, not just the French, but the rest of Europe  and that pleases me no end.

 

[camberwell gypsy]

3 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Lance Armstrong was a fucking cheating cunt. 

Which was nothing new, because 80% of competitors in the history of the TdF were a bunch of cheating cunts as well. A good book for your attention is 'Put me back on my bike"  about the british rider Tom Simpson who, with his system choc full of drugs, died on the infamous Mount Ventoux in 1967.

The TdF has been tarnished with riders taking performance enhancing drugs to such an extent that even today winners performances are tinged with suspicion. But Britain dominating the tour for years certainly fucks off, not just the French, but the rest of Europe  and that pleases me no end.

 

By the way, theres a great bit in the book where, in the middle of a stage, Simpson tells one of his junior team mates to give him his cap. When the guy asks him why Simpson replies "Because I need a shit". Fucking marvellous.

[Major Cunt]

7 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Keeley was forced to take elocution classes in drama school. She had a hefty East End accent and couldn't do posh to save her life. You'd never think it now. I'd shag her rotten.

I would however be torn between ploughing her furrow and taking the Gene Genie's Audi for a spin. I'd try and fit both in.

That's quite a revelation, Eric. I always presumed she was posh totty, but now you come to mention it there's a few scenes where she breaks into sem-cockney in anger. 

I've got a compromise for you. Take the Quattro for a spin and let her nosh you off until the Pirelli's need a change, then it's back to her place, or yours if the old man's home. 

Cor blimey guvnor. 

[Jiggerycock]

Schoolboy on plastic bicycle wins Tour de France

....on a hillside desolate. Will nature make a man of him yet?

[Roadkill]

11 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

'Ashes to Ashes' is far better than 'Life on Mars', imo. Probably because I remember the 80's, but I reckon its Keeley Hawes a true English rose! 

Nostalgia wasn't an issue for me because I was born in the last days of '89 - so didn't have memories of either era.

With that aspect removed Life on Mars is the far better show IMO. Doesn't feel the need to answer every single question about what's going on and why everyone is there - it even reflects in the creepy delusions of the respective shows - telly girl is far more creepy than that shitty Bowie clown.

Technically the clown has much more backstory as a manifestation of the main character's suicidal dad, but like Ashes to Ashes, its all just extra fluff that wasn't needed to make the first show good.

[ChildeHarold]

9 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Lance Armstrong was a fucking cheating cunt. 

Which was nothing new, because 80% of competitors in the history of the TdF were a bunch of cheating cunts as well. A good book for your attention is 'Put me back on my bike"  about the british rider Tom Simpson who, with his system choc full of drugs, died on the infamous Mount Ventoux in 1967.

The TdF has been tarnished with riders taking performance enhancing drugs to such an extent that even today winners performances are tinged with suspicion. But Britain dominating the tour for years certainly fucks off, not just the French, but the rest of Europe  and that pleases me no end.

 

Why do you see everything as a Lord Kitchener Your Country Needs You cunt? Don't you think these current riders are fuckng up to the eyeballs on concoctions and blood tranfusions and monkey gland capsules. 

Look at David Millar - cinvicted ex druggie. Chris Froome - oh yeah the asthma puffers were medicinal. Oh yeah. Bradley Wiggins dropped out of cycling (and sight) as soon as serious qyestions were asked about his recird and samples. The 1950s Tom Simpson actually died on Ventoux of a drug/exhaustion overdose. So fuck off with your jingoism. 

[ChildeHarold]

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

Nostalgia wasn't an issue for me because I was born in the last days of '89 - so didn't have memories of either era.

With that aspect removed Life on Mars is the far better show IMO. Doesn't feel the need to answer every single question about what's going on and why everyone is there - it even reflects in the creepy delusions of the respective shows - telly girl is far more creepy than that shitty Bowie clown.

Technically the clown has much more backstory as a manifestation of the main character's suicidal dad, but like Ashes to Ashes, its all just extra fluff that wasn't needed to make the first show good.

Go and fuck yourself and stick the ashes up your smelly arse faggot. 

[ChildeHarold]

I am referring to the television spectacle of the Tour de France which has been reduced, gradually since the Lance Armstrong era, to a fucking tedious repetitive bland characterless merry go round. In three words It Is Shit. 

[ChildeHarold]

14 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

It's been all over ITV4 and ruining a favourite channel of mine. The sort of cunts who enjoy watching this shite no doubt have several lycra outfits, and a five grand bike they like to be spotted on. I throughly enjoy watching the Sweeney and the Professionals as it reminds of a time when men were blokes. Jack Reagan making off the cuff remarks about darkies, and George Carter eyeing up birds, "what do you reckon on that guvnor?", "not half George". Throw in a few soon to be Eastenders stars as blaggers and hookers, and it's a recipe for success with your average bloke.

I was born after my time as it seems as the world's now fawning over transvestites and fucking queers. Fuck me, even Martin Shaw with his perm puts these millennials to shame. I suggest any bloke under 40 puts his hands down his trousers, and checks he's still got a pair of bollocks!

You are a heart attack cunt anyway. Go and munch on another bacon roll. 

[ChildeHarold]

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

Nostalgia wasn't an issue for me because I was born in the last days of '89 - so didn't have memories of either era.

With that aspect removed Life on Mars is the far better show IMO. Doesn't feel the need to answer every single question about what's going on and why everyone is there - it even reflects in the creepy delusions of the respective shows - telly girl is far more creepy than that shitty Bowie clown.

Technically the clown has much more backstory as a manifestation of the main character's suicidal dad, but like Ashes to Ashes, its all just extra fluff that wasn't needed to make the first show good.

As I said go and fuck off. 

[ChildeHarold]

4 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

That's quite a revelation, Eric. I always presumed she was posh totty, but now you come to mention it there's a few scenes where she breaks into sem-cockney in anger. 

I've got a compromise for you. Take the Quattro for a spin and let her nosh you off until the Pirelli's need a change, then it's back to her place, or yours if the old man's home. 

Cor blimey guvnor. 

 

12 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Gene Hunt, tooled up and sliding the Quattro sideways round a corner. Smoking a B&H with Motörhead blasting out of the Pioneer cassette player.

What a fucking time to have been a policeman.

Fucking pervert. Go and hang out at the local public lav. 

[Roadkill]

Just now, ChildeHarold said:

Go and fuck yourself and stick the ashes up your smelly arse faggot. 

Still smarting from the kicking I gave you for being an overly dramatic little doom-monger the other week?

Go on, tell us how the modern job industry is just indentured servitude with a few extra steps thrown in. Dirty little whingeing commie, man-bun wearing, legging sporting doylum.

Fuck off and stop trying to hit above your weight.

[ChildeHarold]

1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

Still smarting from the kicking I gave you for being an overly dramatic little doom-monger the other week?

Go on, tell us how the modern job industry is just indentured servitude with a few extra steps thrown in. Dirty little whingeing commie, man-bun wearing, legging sporting doylum.

Fuck off and stop trying to hit above your weight.

Fuck off cunt. 

[Roadkill]

Just now, ChildeHarold said:

Fuck off cunt. 

You fucking quoted me you backtracking little spastic - twice in reply to only one post that didn't even concern you.

[ChildeHarold]

6 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

You fucking quoted me you backtracking little spastic - twice in reply to only one post that didn't even concern you.

And you are a fucking well known CC arsehole with Roops up to your every shit trick. Don't start heading that way again towards a ban.