Eric Cuntman Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 1 minute ago, Bubba C said: Do you do weddings? Superb. If you're going to a wedding, that's your comeback nomination. That one where you got really pissed, put your tie round your head like Rambo and then vomited and fell through the buffet table, has to be one of my all time favourites. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Superb. If you're going to a wedding, that's your comeback nomination. That one where you got really pissed, put your tie round your head like Rambo and then vomited and fell through the buffet table, has to be one of my all time favourites. How many tiers does the cake have? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 Just now, Dawn Chorus said: How many tiers does the cake have? 96 tiers. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 8 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Superb. If you're going to a wedding, that's your comeback nomination. That one where you got really pissed, put your tie round your head like Rambo and then vomited and fell through the buffet table, has to be one of my all time favourites. That day was my ex-wife’s brother’s wedding. Thank fuck I’m rid of those cunts. Was a good night though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 9 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said: How many tiers does the cake have? 2, if you’re actually interested. Do you do christenings? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 2 minutes ago, Bubba C said: 2, if you’re actually interested. Do you do christenings? Sometimes. but not at present. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 1 minute ago, Dawn Chorus said: Sometimes. but not at present. Why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 1 minute ago, Bubba C said: Why? Covid .. every cunt is using their phone .. I expect that when it is all over there will be plenty of cunts wanting to have some proper photos but my eyesight is fucked anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 2 minutes ago, Bubba C said: Why? Because, thanks to bullshit social distancing, the lens required to photograph the attendees would need to be the size of Captain Nemo's windscreen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 18 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said: Its ok .. I have just been out to speak to him .. its a nice bloke called Tim. Nice but dim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 2 minutes ago, cuntspotter said: Nice but dim? "Ya ya, done a bit of painting myself." "really, landscapes, still life?" "mostly Spitfires actually. You know, those Airfix kits. Jolly tricky getting the little brush in to do the little chap." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 18 hours ago, Frank said: I very rarely speak much truth on here, Ed, but you've caught me in the mood. Ive been on my own now for almost five years after losing Ming in early 2016. She was only 42 and it was such a cruel illness. Heartbreaking. I'll never forget her last week at the Royal Free.. skin and bone, weighing in at just over two and a half stone. She flatly refused to speak to anyone and ate nothing but prawn crackers. When eventually the time came, do you know what she whispered to me on her deathbed? Lucky cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 2 hours ago, cuntspotter said: Nice but dim? Just dim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 19 hours ago, Frank said: I very rarely speak much truth on here, Ed, but you've caught me in the mood. I've been on my own now for almost five years after losing Ming in early 2016. She was only 42 and it was such a cruel illness. Heartbreaking. I'll never forget her last week at the Royal Free.. skin and bone, weighing in at just over two and a half stone. She flatly refused to speak to anyone and ate nothing but prawn crackers. When eventually the time came, do you know what she whispered to me on her deathbed? Get a new bin. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted December 20, 2020 Report Share Posted December 20, 2020 23 hours ago, Frank said: Fats you got a floor plan on the Sand Banks unit? It’s on Rightmove, you should make an offer Frank, although with your limited funds I wouldn’t drop to £6:40 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted December 23, 2020 Report Share Posted December 23, 2020 On 19/12/2020 at 16:31, Bubba C said: Eric. I’m not sure I have a place here anymore. I’m convinced you’re absolutely done here, Bubba. Shot to pieces. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 23, 2020 Report Share Posted December 23, 2020 On 17/12/2020 at 16:43, Cunty BigBollox said: Jet washing isn't going to stop a leak and, I'm no expert on matters like this but I suspect it will make it worse, if it's a fuel line, not a problem. If it's the fuel tank, and you've got a hole in it, you're fucked. If this is the case, and just because it's you, I would strongly recommend you empty the tank until it's only about a quarter full then try and weld the hole with an oxy-acetylene torch. If you've got a 1980's style shell suit you might also feel more comfortable wearing this while welding. Why would anyone take their van to Grenfell Garage for an MOT ffs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 23, 2020 Report Share Posted December 23, 2020 On 17/12/2020 at 17:30, Williewhoopassjohnson said: It'll be a fuel line but thats then money to lay out and no van for work, i have actually got an 80s style shellsuit as they are all the rage around here, I've a strong suspicion that combined with that welding move on a fuel tank you've just got a perverse desire to see me simon western myself, i salute that and may actually be simon westerning a mechanic in the next 30 minutes so watch the skys for a fireball Have you looked on ‘Friends Reignited’? Someone on there might be able to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 23, 2020 Report Share Posted December 23, 2020 On 17/12/2020 at 21:32, Williewhoopassjohnson said: I'm going to get extra drunk tomorrow to celebrate And then drive home in a four wheeled inferno with worn out bushes and no MOT. Should be fine. I can’t see how that could possibly go wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Williewhoopassjohnson Posted December 23, 2020 Report Share Posted December 23, 2020 3 minutes ago, King Billy said: And then drive home in a four wheeled inferno with worn out bushes and no MOT. Should be fine. I can’t see how that could possibly go wrong. Its working fine so far, aside from the bush and the gentle fuel leak its actually a lovely motor. 8 bags if you are interested and I'll even throw in the hands free kit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 23, 2020 Report Share Posted December 23, 2020 On 18/12/2020 at 19:37, Eddie said: Stub, we are all only 1 month salary from where i am now, it’s not funny or nice. I had an empire built on credit, fatty is sitting nicely in his tacky mansion, I am renting a dump in kent, the shared bathroom has a toilet that doesn’t flush properly, the Albanians have never heard of bleach. No punch line, plus they play rap music. If I could afford it I would drink bleach. Ed If only I wasn’t such a selfish cunt I’d offer to help you out over Christmas, but my missus just won’t allow negroes in the house and that’s that. The two black kids we’ve got, Femi and Kwami are a mystery to her as much as me, but that’s another story. As you’re residing in Kent you could hitch hike to Dover and lie face down on the beach in your speedos with your armbands on and wait to be rescued. Make out you can’t speak a word of English except “I’m 14 Help me please”. Before you can say Kunta Kinte you’ll be living in the Dorchester and going to one of the best mixed sex schools in London. You’ll probably fail all your GCSEs and get expelled for impregnating a few slags, but it could be the new start you need. Don’t give up on your dreams Ed. Fatty didn’t and look at him now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 23, 2020 Report Share Posted December 23, 2020 On 18/12/2020 at 23:46, Williewhoopassjohnson said: Vws aren't bad to sleep in except I've done it after a load of beers so never worked out how to stop the alarm going off every few minutes. You could ask the owner when he comes out and catches you in his car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 23, 2020 Report Share Posted December 23, 2020 On 19/12/2020 at 00:15, Frank said: do you know what she whispered to me on her deathbed? “This is the happiest day of my life”. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Williewhoopassjohnson Posted December 23, 2020 Report Share Posted December 23, 2020 13 minutes ago, King Billy said: You could ask the owner when he comes out and catches you in his car. Posession is nine tenths of the law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted December 24, 2020 Report Share Posted December 24, 2020 14 hours ago, Frank said: I’m convinced you’re absolutely done here, Bubba. Shot to pieces. Dreadful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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