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Guest Lairy Larry

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Guest Lairy Larry
Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

He ain't. He's doing a Yarwood-esque medley of Corner legend impersonations. Stickers could be next.

I'll fucking do you with one punch, you racist cunt. Tomorrow, 9pm, Colchester General Car Park.

You'd better fucking turn up. 

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Guest Lairy Larry

Back on topic. The government have announced everyone is to stop working from home and return to the office; I have a special condition so I was mostly in the office anyway, but now everybody is coming back. I can't interact with most people without trying to aggressively insert an industrial stapler in them, I'm also not going to be able to go on specialist websites on company time or sexually assault the disability coordinator's guide dog.

This is all bad, but the worst thing is I'm going to have to come face to face with...her, the girl of my dreams.   

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Guest judgetwi
2 hours ago, Keith Lard said:

 

This is all bad, but the worst thing is I'm going to have to come face to face with...her, the girl of my dreams.   

You’re not Harvey Price by any chance are you?

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Guest Lairy Larry

Apparently all workplaces have to 'ease' people back to the office; everybody can't come back at once due to the risk of the sniffles.

From my perspective that bides me a bit more time to be alone, to contemplate what wankers they all are. Except for one, she's great.

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20 minutes ago, DCI Jean Cunt said:

Apparently all workplaces have to 'ease' people back to the office; everybody can't come back at once due to the risk of the sniffles.

From my perspective that bides me a bit more time to be alone, to contemplate what wankers they all are. Except for one, she's great.

What is it about her? 

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33 minutes ago, DCI Jean Cunt said:

Apparently all workplaces have to 'ease' people back to the office; everybody can't come back at once due to the risk of the sniffles.

From my perspective that bides me a bit more time to be alone, to contemplate what wankers they all are. Except for one, she's great.

How is it possible to “work from home” in the sex offenders wing?

You’re full of shite (and many varieties of spunk)

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Guest Lairy Larry
Just now, Stubby Pecker said:

How is it possible to “work from home” in the sex offenders wing?

You’re full of shite (and many varieties of spunk)

Your shite'll be full of my spunk by the weekend, I'm gonna fire it up your bliff so hard you'll think you were rear-ended by a tank.

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Guest Lairy Larry
Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

What is it about her? 

She's a Lawyer, in fact an advocate attached to the company. She's been practicing abroad for years, but still turns up occasionally. In haven't properly seen her since 2015, and I'm madly in love with her. I never talk to her though, I should've done, back in 2014-15 when she was regularly around but I didn't, and now it's too late.

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3 minutes ago, DCI Jean Cunt said:

She's a Lawyer, in fact an advocate attached to the company. She's been practicing abroad for years, but still turns up occasionally. In haven't properly seen her since 2015, and I'm madly in love with her. I never talk to her though, I should've done, back in 2014-15 when she was regularly around but I didn't, and now it's too late.

In a few years if the parole board decide you’re not a danger to the public and allow you out on day release you could maybe hide in a bush outside her office and bash one out. Never give up on your dreams.

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Guest Lairy Larry
Just now, King Billy said:

In a few years if the parole board decide you’re not a danger to the public and allow you out on day release you could maybe hide in a bush outside her office and bash one out. Never give up on your dreams.

Thank you for your support at this difficult time.

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15 minutes ago, DCI Jean Cunt said:

She's a Lawyer, in fact an advocate attached to the company. She's been practicing abroad for years, but still turns up occasionally. In haven't properly seen her since 2015, and I'm madly in love with her. I never talk to her though, I should've done, back in 2014-15 when she was regularly around but I didn't, and now it's too late.

I suppose comparing any other woman to her, would be like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.

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Guest Lairy Larry
Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

I suppose comparing any other woman to her, would be like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.

You don't know the worst of it Eric! During the time she was away she met this wanker, got married to him and now has two kids by him. But I'm still fantasising about what things could have been like, but maybe it's too late. Or maybe she'll divorce him.

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13 hours ago, DCI Jean Cunt said:

You don't know the worst of it Eric! During the time she was away she met this wanker, got married to him and now has two kids by him. But I'm still fantasising about what things could have been like, but maybe it's too late. Or maybe she'll divorce him.

Has anyone ever run into the back of your car?

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Guest Lairy Larry
Just now, Dead Penelope said:

Has anyone ever run into the back of your car?

I don't drive. On the days I attend the soulless office I get a bus in, it takes me an hour and a half and is full of smelly cunts, jigaboos and disabled badge wearing vegetables.

It really underlines the whole pointlessness of it all.

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