'Lets brainstorm it'

[Guest Parabolic Cunting]

I fear I have made a grave mistake. I hired an enthusiastic female student with an impeccable hourglass figure, secretary glasses and a tricky masters under her belt. Whilst she is donning a pencil over her ear everyday at work (we build data systems and process data, using fucking computers), I have been grinding my teeth and failing to concentrate on organising the rest of these retards into profitable action. Not because she is a sexy distraction, but because she appears to have taken over the office with boundless enthusiasm and an excellent work ethic. Essentially, we have been producing work in an orderly fashion and to a high standard for 6 weeks now and I have played next to no part in this, at all. My fear based passive aggressive staredowns have given way to kindly encouragement and morning fucking muffins. She is currently the lowest level of employee but is somehow running the show.

Ideas on how she should die please.

[Cuntybaws]

You can't say "brainstorm" now in case it offends epileptics. No, really! You're supposed to say "mind shower" instead.

On a semi-related note, I was forced to attend a neurodivergence awareness course not long back. I had the stupid bitch who was delivering it in literal tears at one point. I don't think she'd ever actually met an ultra-high-functioning autistic sociopath before.

[Guest Timmy]

10 minutes ago, Parabolic Cunting said:

Ideas on how she should die please.

Try to get John Worboys released. That should fix her cunt.

[Eric Cuntman]

12 minutes ago, Parabolic Cunting said:

I fear I have made a grave mistake. I hired an enthusiastic female student with an impeccable hourglass figure, secretary glasses and a tricky masters under her belt. Whilst she is donning a pencil over her ear everyday at work (we build data systems and process data, using fucking computers), I have been grinding my teeth and failing to concentrate on organising the rest of these retards into profitable action. Not because she is a sexy distraction, but because she appears to have taken over the office with boundless enthusiasm and an excellent work ethic. Essentially, we have been producing work in an orderly fashion and to a high standard for 6 weeks now and I have played next to no part in this, at all. My fear based passive aggressive staredowns have given way to kindly encouragement and morning fucking muffins. She is currently the lowest level of employee but is somehow running the show.

Ideas on how she should die please.

There will be another woman who is jealous of her. Pit them against each other.

[Dyslexic cnut]

14 minutes ago, Parabolic Cunting said:

I fear I have made a grave mistake. I hired an enthusiastic female student with an impeccable hourglass figure, secretary glasses and a tricky masters under her belt. Whilst she is donning a pencil over her ear everyday at work (we build data systems and process data, using fucking computers), I have been grinding my teeth and failing to concentrate on organising the rest of these retards into profitable action. Not because she is a sexy distraction, but because she appears to have taken over the office with boundless enthusiasm and an excellent work ethic. Essentially, we have been producing work in an orderly fashion and to a high standard for 6 weeks now and I have played next to no part in this, at all. My fear based passive aggressive staredowns have given way to kindly encouragement and morning fucking muffins. She is currently the lowest level of employee but is somehow running the show.

Ideas on how she should die please.

PM @Neil.

[Decimus]

25 minutes ago, Parabolic Cunting said:

I fear I have made a grave mistake. I hired an enthusiastic female student with an impeccable hourglass figure, secretary glasses and a tricky masters under her belt. Whilst she is donning a pencil over her ear everyday at work (we build data systems and process data, using fucking computers), I have been grinding my teeth and failing to concentrate on organising the rest of these retards into profitable action. Not because she is a sexy distraction, but because she appears to have taken over the office with boundless enthusiasm and an excellent work ethic. Essentially, we have been producing work in an orderly fashion and to a high standard for 6 weeks now and I have played next to no part in this, at all. My fear based passive aggressive staredowns have given way to kindly encouragement and morning fucking muffins. She is currently the lowest level of employee but is somehow running the show.

Ideas on how she should die please.

I made a similar mistake about four years back when hiring a telephony member of staff for our department. This cunt was on 18k a year with possibly one of the shittest and mind-numbingly dull jobs in the world. I didn't expect much, just for him to keep his fucking mouth shut unless he was talking to some Joe Public wanker on the phone. 

What I ended up with was a pompous little shit who thought he was heading a Fortune 500 company. He'd wear a full three piece suit every day as it made him feel "confident" and would send me a dozen enthusiastic emails per day. His brown nosing of me along with his "helpful suggestions or improvements" aside, the thing that infuriated me the most would be that he signed each of them off with "BA Hons".

At least your one has got tits for you to ogle, all this cunt had to look at was a Tin-Tin lunchbox and a George Asda suit.

[Dyslexic cnut]

7 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I made a similar mistake about four years back when hiring a telephony member of staff for our department. This cunt was on 18k a year with possibly one of the shittest and mind-numbingly dull jobs in the world. I didn't expect much, just for him to keep his fucking mouth shut unless he was talking to some Joe Public wanker on the phone. 

What I ended up with was a pompous little shit who thought he was heading a Fortune 500 company. He'd wear a full three piece suit every day as it made him feel "confident" and would send me a dozen enthusiastic emails per day. His brown nosing of me along with his "helpful suggestions or improvements" aside, the thing that infuriated me the most would be that he signed each of them off with "BA Hons".

At least your one has got tits for you to ogle, all this cunt had to look at was a Tin-Tin lunchbox and a George Asda suit.

Sometimes you can be a terrible cunt. I fuckin loved that job.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Parabolic Cunting said:

I fear I have made a grave mistake. I hired an enthusiastic female student with an impeccable hourglass figure, secretary glasses and a tricky masters under her belt. Whilst she is donning a pencil over her ear everyday at work (we build data systems and process data, using fucking computers), I have been grinding my teeth and failing to concentrate on organising the rest of these retards into profitable action. Not because she is a sexy distraction, but because she appears to have taken over the office with boundless enthusiasm and an excellent work ethic. Essentially, we have been producing work in an orderly fashion and to a high standard for 6 weeks now and I have played next to no part in this, at all. My fear based passive aggressive staredowns have given way to kindly encouragement and morning fucking muffins. She is currently the lowest level of employee but is somehow running the show.

Ideas on how she should die please.

Fucking simple, there must be something that's worth nicking that fits into a handbag. When she's out of the office "steal" something  and secrete it in her bag. When she's  back anounce that somethings been stolen and everyone to turn out their stuff (Trading Places)  Hey presto, bang to rights. If she starts whining she didn't do it just tell her to "fuck off" and think herself lucky you're not calling the filth. Or you could PM @Neil if you really want to off the cunt but he'll want money for petrol and cement.

You're welcome

[White Cunt]

6 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

You can't say "brainstorm" now in case it offends epileptics. No, really! You're supposed to say "mind shower" instead.

On a semi-related note, I was forced to attend a neurodivergence awareness course not long back. I had the stupid bitch who was delivering it in literal tears at one point. I don't think she'd ever actually met an ultra-high-functioning autistic sociopath before.

 

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https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOVP.H2Ql9nuXzpD10oOE26lObgEsCo%26pid%3DApi&f=1

[White Cunt]

7 hours ago, Parabolic Cunting said:

I fear I have made a grave mistake. I hired an enthusiastic female student with an impeccable hourglass figure, secretary glasses and a tricky masters under her belt. Whilst she is donning a pencil over her ear everyday at work (we build data systems and process data, using fucking computers), I have been grinding my teeth and failing to concentrate on organising the rest of these retards into profitable action. Not because she is a sexy distraction, but because she appears to have taken over the office with boundless enthusiasm and an excellent work ethic. Essentially, we have been producing work in an orderly fashion and to a high standard for 6 weeks now and I have played next to no part in this, at all. My fear based passive aggressive staredowns have given way to kindly encouragement and morning fucking muffins. She is currently the lowest level of employee but is somehow running the show.

Ideas on how she should die please.

Running logistics in Ukraine.