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"GREAT NEWS!"


Penny Farthing

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I have just had the usual monthly message on one of my smartphones saying "Great News you have now got a new £15 monthly balance". Whilst this is good to know it is hardly "Great News". Surely being left £5million by an unknown aunt or winning £5million on the National Lottery or learning that an itinerant pizza delivery man who was born in Ulster had lost his false teeth would be "Great News" .. Do any of you have thoughts on this "Great News" balderdash?

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I got really excited when I saw the title and author of this nomination, as I was hoping you’d received a diagnosis of a terminal illness. Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be just another load of inane, tedious fucking shit.

Fuck off.

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26 minutes ago, and said:

Which one does the government use to track your whereabouts?

I guess it's more discreet than the electronic tag that you've been forced to wear by the RSPCA. I've heard that you start beeping like the fucking Road Runner whenever you come within 100ft of a dog's arsehole.

Lolololol.

Fuck Off.

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22 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I guess it's more discreet than the electronic tag that you've been forced to wear by the RSPCA. I've heard that you start beeping like the fucking Road Runner whenever you come within 100ft of a dog's arsehole.

Lolololol.

Fuck Off.

Certainly don't need a tracker to know I'm within 100ft of an arsehole like you @Decimus

LOL

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3 hours ago, and said:

Certainly don't need a tracker to know I'm within 100ft of an arsehole like you @Decimus

LOL

Why bother copying Decs in when you were responding to his comment anyway? In your defence, you've only been posting since 2014.

You extraordinarily brain-dead fucking cuntwit.

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41 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Why bother copying Decs in when you were responding to his comment anyway? In your defence, you've only been posting since 2014.

You extraordinarily brain-dead fucking cuntwit.

Simple @Wolfie I don't give a cunt for following your semantic rules and regulation.

How do like them apples, dicksplash?

LOL

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25 minutes ago, and said:

Simple @Wolfie I don't give a cunt for following your semantic rules and regulation.

How do like them apples, dicksplash?

LOL

Oooo you're hard for a coprophagic Kike, you rebel without a pooh lololol.

Rebel, Rebel, he eats pooch mess

Rebel, Rebel, it drips down his chest

Rebel, Rebel, everyone knows

Mein Kampf, get fucked Schlomo.

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33 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Fuck me.. the Snowman cometh.

Bollocks. According to our man at Crufts I only consume half a pint of shandy twice a year.

I'm thinking of using him as a character witness the next time Mrs D wants to know why there's 'flour' dust all over the chopping board everytime she comes home from an evening at her mother's.

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Just now, Decimus said:

Bollocks. According to our man at Crufts I only consume half a pint of shandy twice a year.

I'm thinking of using him as a character witness the next time Mrs D wants to know why there's 'flour' dust all over the chopping board everytime she comes home from an evening at her mother's.

Tell her it fell off some Mr Kiplings.

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1 minute ago, Decimus said:

The next time I take £100 out of her purse for some chop I'll tell her it was Uncle Ben.

I’ve been offered it at £55 a g. Is that cheap? It should be. It’s from a load of county lines yardie cunts. I don’t touch it, I preferred Dexamphetamine back when uppers were other than caffeine.

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28 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I’ve been offered it at £55 a g. Is that cheap? It should be. It’s from a load of county lines yardie cunts. I don’t touch it, I preferred Dexamphetamine back when uppers were other than caffeine.

I think it's fairly standard, although it depends on where you are. I'm paying £70 which is steep, but it's good and not heavily cut. I bought some shite for £45 not long ago and my whole nostril was caked closed after two lines. 

Never tried any Eileen's, but my poison of choice is acid. Unfortunately life means I can rarely afford the extended down time I need to enjoy a good trip.

@and what do you think of all that then? You boring little Talk To Frank cunt.

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12 hours ago, Penny Farthing said:

I have just had the usual monthly message on one of my smartphones saying "Great News you have now got a new £15 monthly balance". Whilst this is good to know it is hardly "Great News". Surely being left £5million by an unknown aunt or winning £5million on the National Lottery or learning that an itinerant pizza delivery man who was born in Ulster had lost his false teeth would be "Great News" .. Do any of you have thoughts on this "Great News" balderdash?

I can fart out of my nipples.

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1 hour ago, Decimus said:

I think it's fairly standard, although it depends on where you are. I'm paying £70 which is steep, but it's good and not heavily cut. I bought some shite for £45 not long ago and my whole nostril was caked closed after two lines. 

Never tried any Eileen's, but my poison of choice is acid. Unfortunately life means I can rarely afford the extended down time I need to enjoy a good trip.

@and what do you think of all that then? You boring little Talk To Frank cunt.

I was ok with acid until I dropped this ‘blue planet’ tab. Really thick paper with a little Saturn 🪐 looking planet on it. An hour and a half later I was walking down the white lines of a road because I was convinced that the houses were expanding under pressure and about to explode. 
Fuck that. I was alright with Psilocybin shrooms though. Your own personal 10 hour Disneyland.

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