Middle-Aged Architect named as Gilgo Beach Killer

[Last Cunt Standing]

For some time this little collection of unfortunates has been my favourite whodunnit, and I’m quite surprised that the Police have now made an arrest in the so-called LISK investigation. Rex Heuermann, an otherwise nondescript architect, has been charged with three of the murders, with the expectation more will follow. His perverted internet search history has been held up as evidence of deviancy, plus his use of burner phones, and crucially there appears to be a DNA link to the victims, his sample having been obtained from a discarded pizza box. Some say the killer might have topped 30 victims, impossible to know as the dumping area was inundated by the sea in Hurricane Sandy and some evidence is now with the fishes. 

The recent pattern of criminal geniuses being undone by pizza boxes - Rex, Andrew Tate, must be a PR nightmare for those twats at Dominoes who put a leaflet through my door approximately every eight seconds. 

Anyway, bit of a Cunt being exposed as a serial killer by a stray slice of Hawaiian is all I’m saying. 

[Hammer of Cunts]

Let's have a link then, whatever this is about, it's fucking miles from civilisation. Why should we care if upside-down twats die like flies ?

[King Billy]

18 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

For some time this little collection of unfortunates has been my favourite whodunnit, and I’m quite surprised that the Police have now made an arrest in the so-called LISK investigation. Rex Heuermann, an otherwise nondescript architect, has been charged with three of the murders, with the expectation more will follow. His perverted internet search history has been held up as evidence of deviancy, plus his use of burner phones, and crucially there appears to be a DNA link to the victims, his sample having been obtained from a discarded pizza box. Some say the killer might have topped 30 victims, impossible to know as the dumping area was inundated by the sea in Hurricane Sandy and some evidence is now with the fishes. 

The recent pattern of criminal geniuses being undone by pizza boxes - Rex, Andrew Tate, must be a PR nightmare for those twats at Dominoes who put a leaflet through my door approximately every eight seconds. 

Anyway, bit of a Cunt being exposed as a serial killer by a stray slice of Hawaiian is all I’m saying. 

Andrew Tate is a great man. 

[Decimus]

51 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

Let's have a link then, whatever this is about, it's fucking miles from civilisation. Why should we care if upside-down twats die like flies ?

It's not in Australia, it's in the US. No googling necessary, I remember watching a documentary a while back about how the case was unsolved and the Yank filth were left scratching their heads.

[Eric Cuntman]

2 hours ago, Decimus said:

It's not in Australia, it's in the US. No googling necessary, I remember watching a documentary a while back about how the case was unsolved and the Yank filth were left scratching their heads.

Gilgo beach was a holo-suite simulation in the first episode of DS9. 

[Hammer of Cunts]

10 hours ago, Decimus said:

No googling necessary

Well, there patently fucking is... We aren't all obsessed with obscure crime documentaries. The septics spend half their time stabbing and shooting each other; why should anyone give a fuck about this one?

[Last Cunt Standing]

3 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

Well, there patently fucking is... We aren't all obsessed with obscure crime documentaries. The septics spend half their time stabbing and shooting each other; why should anyone give a fuck about this one?

You shouldn’t, particularly. What you attend to and what you ignore is entirely up to you. But I’m not sure your plea for collective ignorance of American violence is entirely consistent with your previous utterances. I mean, say you’d piped up with commentary on another American murder some time ago, you might be a bit peeved if you met a wall of “why should we give a shit” type responses, no? Perhaps best to read it, grunt your disapproval, and click on to the next topic. Hypocrisy is such an ugly trait. 

On 25/11/2020 at 14:41, Hammer of Cunts said:

How they do things in the US is up to them. Although I'm not really a "string-em-up" sort of bloke; it's very difficut to feel any kind of sympathy for this shit.

Apparently: "Hall was the second black man to be executed by lethal injection on federal death row in recent months." The crudely confected pathos of the reporting is a quite desperate attempt to shoehorn in a bit of liberal social commentary.

Other than their race, I suspect that another thing that they had in common was that they were both fucking murderers.

https://news.sky.com/story/man-killed-by-lethal-injection-in-eighth-federal-execution-under-trump-12137514

 

[Decimus]

3 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

Well, there patently fucking is... We aren't all obsessed with obscure crime documentaries. The septics spend half their time stabbing and shooting each other; why should anyone give a fuck about this one?

 

8 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

You shouldn’t, particularly. What you attend to and what you ignore is entirely up to you. But I’m not sure your plea for collective ignorance of American violence is entirely consistent with your previous utterances. I mean, say you’d piped up with commentary on another American murder some time ago, you might be a bit peeved if you met a wall of “why should we give a shit” type responses, no? Perhaps best to read it, grunt your disapproval, and click on to the next topic. Hypocrisy is such an ugly trait. 

What he said.

[Hammer of Cunts]

26 minutes ago, Decimus said:

What he said.

What who said?

 

27 minutes ago, Decimus said:

your plea for collective ignorance

How am I "pleading" for anything? All I'm doing is pointing out that US murders are a relatively parochial concern, why should anyone waste their time trying to work out which of this week's domestic atrocities is the subject of your post.

It's always amusing how the addition of the adjective "American" automatically makes anything worse: American football, American beer, American children ... American president...

[Last Cunt Standing]

31 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

What who said?

How am I "pleading" for anything? All I'm doing is pointing out that US murders are a relatively parochial concern, why should anyone waste their time trying to work out which of this week's domestic atrocities is the subject of your post.

It's always amusing how the addition of the adjective "American" automatically makes anything worse: American football, American beer, American children ... American president...

Frederick Sewards Trueman had a special phrase for circumstances like these, when he fired in a ripsnorter from the Kirkstall Lane end, only for some poor sap to stand blinking as the ball whistled past his nose.

“That wer wasted on thee, Lad”. 

[Eric Cuntman]

3 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Frederick Sewards Trueman had a special phrase for circumstances like these, when he fired in a ripsnorter from the Kirkstall Lane end, only for some poor sap to stand blinking as the ball whistled past his nose.

“That wer wasted on thee, Lad”. 

Do you remember Fred Trueman getting hustled by John Lowe and Eric Bristow on a programme he used to present called ‘The Indoor League?

Bristow and Lowe weren’t known outside of darts circles, they turned up to take part in a ‘180 challenge’. They had ten minutes to hit as many maximums as possible, with £180 for each one. They had clearly practiced and were running back and forth to the oche, throwing past each other on the return. 
 They hit around two dozen and had to stay back at the studio until the BBC had sent a runner to the bank to get their winnings.

Willie Thorne did something similar with an 8 ball pool challenge on the same programme. It was the late 70s and neither snooker or darts were regularly televised, so world class players could turn up anonymously.

[camberwell gypsy]

5 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

Well, there patently fucking is... We aren't all obsessed with obscure crime documentaries. The septics spend half their time stabbing and shooting each other; why should anyone give a fuck about this one?

THE SEPTICS........

You spelt 'youths'  wrong. 

[and]

4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

They hit around two dozen and had to stay back at the studio until the BBC had sent a runner to the bank to get their winnings.

It was actually on YTV, Yorkshire television, but don't tell @Decimus or @Wolfie or they'll have nothing to whine about wasting licence payers money.

BTW, the best episode was when they, allegedly, lined up the Yorkshire cricket team, and they all went through Raquel Welch (unfortunately the tape was wiped, by accident) ;-( 

[Eric Cuntman]

2 hours ago, Zev said:

It was actually on YTV, Yorkshire television, but don't tell @Decimus or @Wolfie or they'll have nothing to whine about wasting licence payers money.

BTW, the best episode was when they, allegedly, lined up the Yorkshire cricket team, and they all went through Raquel Welch (unfortunately the tape was wiped, by accident) ;-( 

So it was. I’ve only seen clips because I was too young to see it first time around. You obviously saw it back then. 
 You old decrepit nearly dead cunt.

[Decimus]

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

So it was. I’ve only seen clips because I was too young to see it first time around. You obviously saw it back then. 
 You old decrepit nearly dead cunt.

He's that old he can remember white dog shit. Although I'd wager his memories involve more cum and prolapses than most space hopper bouncing cunts.

[Eric Cuntman]

24 minutes ago, Decimus said:

He's that old he can remember white dog shit. Although I'd wager his memories involve more cum and prolapses than most space hopper bouncing cunts.

I can remember white dog shit. Not ‘Spangles’ though, not properly.

[Last Cunt Standing]

10 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Do you remember Fred Trueman getting hustled by John Lowe and Eric Bristow on a programme he used to present called ‘The Indoor League?

Bristow and Lowe weren’t known outside of darts circles, they turned up to take part in a ‘180 challenge’. They had ten minutes to hit as many maximums as possible, with £180 for each one. They had clearly practiced and were running back and forth to the oche, throwing past each other on the return. 
 They hit around two dozen and had to stay back at the studio until the BBC had sent a runner to the bank to get their winnings.

Willie Thorne did something similar with an 8 ball pool challenge on the same programme. It was the late 70s and neither snooker or darts were regularly televised, so world class players could turn up anonymously.

Ahl si’thee. 

[and]

17 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You old decrepit nearly dead cunt.

Age is just a number, Google is your friend, try using it, like I did. 😉

 

[and]

17 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I can remember white dog shit. Not ‘Spangles’ though, not properly.

Dickless remembers white dog shit, if he doesn't, he obviously Googled it, which makes it look like some sort of perverted obsession, especially if another family member happens to see his search history.

I always said he has a lot to hide...

 

[Mike Hunt]

15 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Ahl si’thee. 

Ey oop.  And the most miserable dirge of a theme tune ever.

 

[Eric Cuntman]

53 minutes ago, Zev said:

Age is just a number, Google is your friend, try using it, like I did. 😉

 

I try not to Google things. I’ve got one of those brains with unlimited storage capacity, but unlike Bawsy’s version, it’s not well organised. I’m trying to train it to be efficient, but my brain is cleverer than me and it’s a pisstaking fucking cunt.

[Eric Cuntman]

39 minutes ago, Zev said:

Dickless remembers white dog shit, if he doesn't, he obviously Googled it, which makes it look like some sort of perverted obsession, especially if another family member happens to see his search history.

I always said he has a lot to hide...

 

Please leave your feudal communications out of conversations with me. I’m not involved. I’m waiting for a new Saucepants to kill. Or the old one again. 

[Decimus]

13 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Please leave your feudal communications out of conversations with me. I’m not involved. I’m waiting for a new Saucepants to kill. Or the old one again. 

I'm not a jealous boyfriend, Eric, but I don't like you conversing with this dirty little beast.

[Eric Cuntman]

13 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I'm not a jealous boyfriend, Eric, but I don't like you conversing with this dirty little beast.

Don’t you start. 

[camberwell gypsy]

4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I try not to Google things. I’ve got one of those brains with unlimited storage capacity, but unlike Bawsy’s version, it’s not well organised. I’m trying to train it to be efficient, but my brain is cleverer than me and it’s a pisstaking fucking cunt.

Roops is the clevererest person there is. Did you know she split the atom the other day with a butter knife? I mean how fucking clever is that? Eddie's a very lucky man.  Is he still knocking her about? Sorry I mean knocking about with her?