nocti

I've just seen this revolting cunt talking to a carrot on TV. I shouldn't need to add much more to that really, but let it be known, in case there's any doubt floating around, that this cunt still tops my death wishlist for 2020. A carrot for fucks sake.

Judging from the current dire state of comedy, and the direction it's going in, I have a feeling this site may be well ahead of its time.

Whether he likes fishing or not, the bloke's a cunt.

If anything, this election has shown me that no matter how much of a cunt I make of myself, how much i bullshit my way through stuff, and if I ever end up even shutting myself in a fucking fridge, I can still come out on top. It's inspiring really.

@Rev isn't one to mince his words. In fact, he'll probably be along any minute to give me a fucking good pasting for using his name and 'mince' in the same sentence.

Those two pictures of the same woman could be two entirely different characters in the Mos Eisley Cantina.

Cut out the middle man, and just flog them straight to Neil. I have no doubt he may already have whatever size, etc you obtain, but I bet he'll be happy to have some swapsies.

Is it just me, or has Peanuts gone a bit left field?

Snowy, where the fuck have you been you bin-dragging, shit-smelling senile old fuck ugly cunt?

We know.

In an age where we are trying to involve all of the senses in our multimedia experience, this video makes me beam with gratitude that we haven't quite begun to fully explore "smell" yet.

I find the herd mentality of the so-called "Celtic" nations quite funny, especially in light of current DNA analysis which shows no difference whatsoever between Scots, English, Irish and Welsh; including those fucking Cornish cunts. The invaders of the past were simply ruling classes, and had absolutely no genetic impact whatsoever; even the dirty Danes. Yet social media is rife with them all belittling the English, before stating "Well, us Celts have this..." and "We Celts are that.", when it's all utter fucking wank.

There really has been an influx of fucking idiots to the site just lately. Has somebody posted a link to here on a baseball forum or something?

I'm feeling a bit embarrassed actually, because I should really know this one.

For someone so acutely aware that AIDS is spread about by botters, you seem awfully frightened of catching it Punkers.

Salty, if drinking just one makes you this belligerent, I suggest your Dad hides his bud lights somewhere you can't reach them. Like on the floor, you fat cunt.

Getting a bit mawkish there, mate. Marry the cunt why don't you?

Mental if it's true. As lovely as her mouth is, I'd certainly settle for her fanny.

This will forever perplex me. I actually want this explained more than any philosophical meanderings concerning our place in the universe. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he isn't a practitioner of countergradient horticulture, as he swiftly went on to throw one up Sandra Bollocks before settling down with some Swedish sort, but there's clearly something fucked about him. Liz Hurley, in that era especially, was pretty much unrivalled as queen of the wank bank.

Told you mate. Bit ropey weren't she? Forgot about the mullet; sure sign of a fucking bean rubber.

Pat Sharp wasn't the best looking bird by any stretch, but I'd have probably rooted it. Although rumours at the time suggest that she could've been a bulldyke.

We need another serial killer or something; give these thick cunts something to genuinely worry about. Plenty of candidates on here, although it won't take long for the case to be closed when the victims are all found with a toilet duck bottle hanging out of their arse.

Yet I'm told to "fuck off somewhere else" when throwing myself around Costa by my own cock, having spotted some millennial Mother breastfeeding. If some isolated copse isn't "somewhere else" then I don't know what the fuck is. Woods/parks have been the place of choice for the perspicacious dirty bastard since the dawn of time. If you don't like it, get a treadmill and a VR headset you moaning cunts.

The bar staff example is a good one. There's one that works in a pub local to me that, to her credit, has quite a pretty face, but a body that orion's belt would be too tight for. I blame the Kardashians for all this bollocks. I could just about put up with fat-shaming being frowned upon, but being a ham-planet is nothing to be celebrated.

Well, this is the thing. People like Decs and myself would get shut down almost immediately, if even allowed to have an opinion in the first place, as our point of discussion would come from an alleged position of privilege and therefore be biased to fuck, or at least be angled in our own favour. Not that I have much to say these days other than "fuck off" anyway, but it would be nice to at least have the chance to say it to somebody of a different racial background live on TV.