Guest nobgobbler Posted March 29, 2015 Report Posted March 29, 2015 Field mice are cute little things. Except for the one that's stomping around in the loft right now keeping me awake. Pointy toothed long whiskered vermin little cunt. Quote
Decimus Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 Are you sure its not a rat? He'd never take safehouse tips from Anne Frank. Quote
scotty Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 He'd never take safehouse tips from Anne Frank.There was a play about her, which was so badly staged that when the nazis arrived someone in the audience shouted out "she's in the fucking attic." 1 Quote
Guest nobgobbler Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 Get a cat.We've got one Alf, but she's fucking useless, stone deaf and can't be arsed. Quote
Guest nobgobbler Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 Are you sure its not a rat? Oh fuck, I really don't want to find out. And I'm home alone for the next few days so I suppose I'll have to tuck my jeans in my socks and go for it. Quote
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 Make sure you leave your shoes upside down..... Quote
Guest JackoTC Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 Only one way to deal with them : Get a head torch, a piece of cheese, and a Purdey Over and Under shotgun. Sit up there in the dark.......I'm sure you can work out the rest. It worked for me anyway. When the geezers came to fix the holes I blasted in the roof, the mice all fucked off. Quote
White Cunt Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 Only one way to deal with them : Get a head torch, a piece of cheese, and a Purdey Over and Under shotgun. Sit up there in the dark.......I'm sure you can work out the rest. It worked for me anyway. When the geezers came to fix the holes I blasted in the roof, the mice all fucked off.Have you nipped the neighbours by chance? Quote
Ape™️ Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 Are you sure its not a rat? We heard some noises in our loft a few months back and I found some traces of droppings on the insulation. To find out what was visiting I got a couple of cheap infrared wireless network cameras and set them up on an old pic with motion detection enabled. I baited some traps, both mouse and rat, with peanut butter and we waited. After about a week we got an email notification that motion had been detected so we played the video. A big fat fucking rat had the end of its nose clipped off by one of the big traps! Unfortunately it didn't kill the little bastard but it's not been back since. They can do some serious damage to property so I'm still at defcon 3 in case it comes back. Quote
cuntspotter Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 We heard some noises in our loft a few months back and I found some traces of droppings on the insulation. To find out what was visiting I got a couple of cheap infrared wireless network cameras and set them up on an old pic with motion detection enabled. I baited some traps, both mouse and rat, with peanut butter and we waited. After about a week we got an email notification that motion had been detected so we played the video. A big fat fucking rat had the end of its nose clipped off by one of the big traps! Unfortunately it didn't kill the little bastard but it's not been back since. They can do some serious damage to property so I'm still at defcon 3 in case it comes back.Get up there and find out how it got in.... Otherwise the fucker will be back with his mates. Quote
Ape™️ Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 Get up there and find out how it got in.... Otherwise the fucker will be back with his mates.I'm pretty sure I know how the little cunt got in, and I'm monitoring the suspected entry route with a motion camera. Should it decide to visit again, the first thing it'll find is a pair of traps capable of chopping its head clean off. We live right by a golf course with open fields all around, so there's a lot of vermin about, both two and four legged 1 Quote
scotty Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 I'm pretty sure I know how the little cunt got in, and I'm monitoring the suspected entry route with a motion camera. Should it decide to visit again, the first thing it'll find is a pair of traps capable of chopping its head clean off. We live right by a golf course with open fields all around, so there's a lot of vermin about, both two and four legged At the risk of triggering admins culling frenzy dapps, are you sure you aren't me?? I live alongside a golf course and a load of open fields. 2 Quote
cuntspotter Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 At the risk of triggering admins culling frenzy dapps, are you sure you aren't me?? I live alongside a golf course and a load of open fields. I thought you were me? Quote
scotty Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 I thought you were me?If I was a taff, the last thing I'd do is admit it. Quote
White Cunt Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 Get up there and find out how it got in.... Otherwise the fucker will be back with his mates.His mates are too busy in Cheshire. Quote
cuntspotter Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 If I was a taff, the last thing I'd do is admit it. Bastards, bastards, you're all bastards. 1 Quote
Cuntybaws Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 Field mice are cute little things. Except for the one that's stomping around in the loft right now keeping me awake.A little mouse with clogs on? Quote
Ape™️ Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 At the risk of triggering admins culling frenzy dapps, are you sure you aren't me?? I live alongside a golf course and a load of open fields. Now you've got me thinking. This is fucking spooky! Quote
Jiggerycock Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 We heard some noises in our loft a few months back and I found some traces of droppings on the insulation. To find out what was visiting I got a couple of cheap infrared wireless network cameras and set them up on an old pic with motion detection enabled. I baited some traps, both mouse and rat, with peanut butter and we waited. After about a week we got an email notification that motion had been detected so we played the video. A big fat fucking rat had the end of its nose clipped off by one of the big traps! Unfortunately it didn't kill the little bastard but it's not been back since. They can do some serious damage to property so I'm still at defcon 3 in case it comes back.I thought the punchline might have been '.......and would you Adam and Eve it, a bloody pikey was breaking in and shitting in my loft!' 1 Quote
Guest nobgobbler Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 I thought you were me?ban yourself Quote
scotty Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 I thought the punchline might have been '.......and would you Adam and Eve it, a bloody pikey was breaking in and shitting in my loft!'Either that, or "...it took me a week to get that family of Poles out." 1 Quote
Guest DrCunt Posted March 30, 2015 Report Posted March 30, 2015 (edited) Those plug in ultrasonic / electromagnetic deterrent thingies seem to work quite well, but have one major drawback, which is that you cannot gain any enjoyment from killing the 'orrible stinky little cunt. I prefer to use a humane trap, from which you can transfer the culprit to a nice snug cardboard box. Said varmint will think it has landed on it's paws and anticipate release back into the wild... right up until the time you jump up and down on the box and squash its brains through its nose. Edited March 30, 2015 by DrCunt Quote
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