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Cunts that cook soggy pasta


Guest Bill Stickers

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Guest Bill Stickers

Sorry to go all Jamie "Salt of the Fakin' Earth" Oliver on you cunts, but I want it al dente. 

Too many times have I agreed to go round some drongos house for a meal, only for them to serve me up some inedible slop in sauce.

It should be firm to the bite, you goddamn philistines.

 

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Sorry to go all Jamie "Salt of the Fakin' Earth" Oliver on you cunts, but I want it al dente. 

Too many times have I agreed to go round some drongos house for a meal, only for them to serve me up some inedible slop in sauce.

It should be firm to the bite, you goddamn philistines.

 

I can recommend a good wetherspoons...

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Guest Bill Stickers

They serve pasta at your night shelter??

Of all the things likely to be served in a night shelter, pasta has to be right up there, you imbecile. It is cheap, versatile and easy to cook with.

If I had created a topic about caviar, your comment might have worked.

Alas, all you have done is shown yourself up as an inferior version of PunkApe. To be even less funny than him is quite a remarkable achievement.

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Guest Gong Farmer

Look at Italian women in their late forties and beyond, fat, wide and hairy lipped, that's down to a life time of shoving pasta down their necks. 

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Guest Bill Stickers

Look at Italian women in their late forties and beyond, fat, wide and hairy lipped, that's down to a life time of shoving pasta down their necks. 

Judging by the appearance of Drew P Pissflap's mother and sisters, sailor cock and pasta must have very similar effects on one's physical appearance. Extraordinary! 

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Sorry to go all Jamie "Salt of the Fakin' Earth" Oliver on you cunts, but I want it al dente. 

Too many times have I agreed to go round some drongos house for a meal, only for them to serve me up some inedible slop in sauce.

It should be firm to the bite, you goddamn philistines.

 

Never mind that window licker jamie oliver, bill. According to my italian mrs, the most authentic pasta recipes are the antonio carluccio ones.

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Guest Bill Stickers

Never mind that window licker jamie oliver, bill. According to my italian mrs, the most authentic pasta recipes are the antonio carluccio ones.

Is she over 40 and hair-lipped? We can actually test one of Gong Farmer's bullshit hypotheses for once!

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Guest Bill Stickers

Supercilious.

Thanks for paying us a visit all the way from Dictionary fucking Corner chap. 

Using the word supercilious is, intrinsically, supercilious.

 

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Guest Bill Stickers

Why do you need to comment on his family?

Have I committed some kind of faux pas? Did his family all kill themselves because he is such an insufferable cunt?

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Guest Gong Farmer

I saw a cunt on the telly the other day making a 'spag boll' FFS! that included fucking carrots, peas and an Oxo cube. It's olive oil, garlic, plum tomatoes, tomato puree, a dash of balsamic vinegar or wine and minced beef. Except maybe for some added water that's it. You don't put fucking carrots and an Oxo cube in a 'spag boll' you cunt but 10 out of 10 for trying.

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Guest Bill Stickers

I saw a cunt on the telly the other day making a 'spag boll' FFS! that included fucking carrots, peas and an Oxo cube. It's olive oil, garlic, plum tomatoes, tomato puree, a dash of balsamic vinegar or wine and minced beef. Except maybe for some added water that's it. You don't put fucking carrots and an Oxo cube in a 'spag boll' you cunt but 10 out of 10 for trying.

Spag bollocks by the sound of it.

I don't know,  you seem to know his family.

Sorry, do you actually have a point to make? Or are you just lonely, and seeking any kind of social interaction?

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Guest Gong Farmer

Yes, indeed. Look at the average English lady. Gunt  insitu by the end of their teens and shoving cholesterol laden, unctuous shit down their uneducated gobs.

The last time I saw an English women in the flesh was last weekend in central Amsterdam being arrested for glassing one of her mates in a bar. Apparently she was there for her mate's hen party weekend, she glassed the bride to be. No one was surprised as Amsterdam is used to violent and aggressive British tarts abusing our hospitality by bringing their cunt attitude with them instead of leaving it at Luton airport to be picked up again when they get back.

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It's no cunting wonder the Italians think we're a bunch of uncultured savages, they go through all the trouble of making them into little tubes, helter skelters, and action man bow ties, only for us to boil the utter fuck out of them so they pretty much melt back into the original state.

Good call Sticks, there's fuck all worse than being served a painstakingly made perfect ragu, only to have it slathered all over and around a slop of overcooked fragile as fuck mushy shit.

Disease, war and famine come close, but no cigar.

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Guest Bill Stickers

It's no cunting wonder the Italians think we're a bunch of uncultured savages, they go through all the trouble of making them into little tubes, helter skelters, and action man bow ties, only for us to boil the utter fuck out of them so they pretty much melt back into the original state.

Good call Sticks, there's fuck all worse than being served a painstakingly made perfect ragu, only to have it slathered all over and around a slop of overcooked fragile as fuck mushy shit.

Disease, war and famine come close, but no cigar.

Finally, someone who isn't a complete cunt!

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The last time I saw an English women in the flesh was last weekend in central Amsterdam being arrested for glassing one her mates in a bar. Apparently she was there for her mate's hen party weekend, she glassed the bride to be. No one was surprised as Amsterdam is used to violent and aggressive British tarts abusing our hospitality by bringing their cunt attitude with them instead of leaving it at Luton airport. 

In my Aunt's defense, she is technically on holiday.

Finally, someone who isn't a complete cunt!

Well now, let's not jump to conclusions...

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Guest Gong Farmer

Prague is also used as a receptacle for such behaviour. But then are so many Town centres on weekends in England. I think the English rose has a touch of blackspot.

There's more than a few bars and cafes in Amsterdam that refuse to serve British people of a certain ilk if they can help it and that's just the ones I know of. Hate to say it but the Brits really are not welcome in Amsterdam and for good reason. I've given an example of why that is.

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Is she over 40 and hair-lipped? We can actually test one of Gong Farmer's bullshit hypotheses for once!

Shes over 40, but not hair-lipped. However, while she isn't what I'd call fat, even her best friend probably wouldn't describe her as underweight...

Gong is right about the Italians shovelling the pasta down though. The platefuls they serve up would feed me for a week.

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There's more than a few bars and cafes in Amsterdam that refuse to serve British people of a certain ilk if they can help it and that's just the ones I know of. Hate to say it but the Brits really are not welcome in Amsterdam and for good reason. I've given an example of why that is.

I visit family in the Netherlands on average every two years or so, and whenever I venture into Amsterdam I always find people really accommodating and warm. It might have something to do with the fact that I don't wear England football tops and offer everyone out that I see. Oh, and weed lost its appeal way before I left my teens, so I don't look constantly fucked either.

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I saw a cunt on the telly they were making a 'spag boll' FFS! that included fucking carrots, peas and an Oxo cube. It's olive oil, garlic, plum tomatoes, tomato puree, a dash of balsamic vinegar or wine and minced beef. Except maybe for some added water that's it. You don't put fucking carrots and an Oxo cube in a 'spag boll' you cunt but 10 out of 10 for trying.

Actually, if we are talking authenticity, a Bolognese ragu actually calls for the inclusion of carrots, along with celery. A Bolognan would also consider the addition of garlic to be sacrilegious. It also calls for beef or veal stock, although I'm with you that an oxo cube is not the way to do this. Minced beef is fine, but there needs to be pork, either in the form of pancetta or half pork/half beef mince. Some purists also add milk and chicken livers. I'm sure our Edders and Scotty's missus will confirm all of this.

Right, I'm done being pretentious for this month. I'll drop by the thread in August and instruct all of you fucking heathens on the correct way to cook an authentic chilli con carne.

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Guest Gong Farmer

Actually, if we are talking authenticity, a Bolognese ragu actually calls for the inclusion of carrots, along with celery. A Bolognan would also consider the addition of garlic to be sacrilegious. It also calls for beef or veal stock, although I'm with you that an oxo cube is not the way to do this. Minced beef is fine, but there needs to be pork, either in the form of pancetta or half pork/half beef mince. Some purists also add milk and chicken livers. I'm sure our Edders and Scotty's missus will confirm all of this.

Right, I'm done being pretentious for this month. I'll drop by the thread in August and instruct all of you fucking heathens on the correct way to cook an authentic chilli con carne.

But it wasn't a ragu. It was just some cunt complicating and Anglicizing  what should be the most simple of dishes. I wouldn't have minded if he'd bullshitted it up with a spot pancetta but he didn't, it was carrots, peas and an Oxo cube.

BTW... Chicken livers are the food of the Gods.

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