Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 I'm all for a good chinwag with an old friend, or someone genuinely interesting or intelligent. However, what I cannot stand is when I get stuck with some fucking dullard of the highest order, who has absolutely no concept of what is interesting or relevant.I don't give a shit if your mate John lost his car keys in a field last weekend walking his dog and had to knock on someone's door for help, only to find that he actually knew the person in the house from his old school, and then then went for a pint and saw Ian Beale in there quite tipsy after a few too many shandies. I have gleamed nothing from that tortuous narrative except that you, Ian Beale, and possibly John, are all fucking cunts.The worst offenders seem to be the very old, the very posh, and the unemployed. Endless self-absorbed, boring, winding, highly detailed anecdotes about cunts you've never asked about, have never met, and will never meet.What starts as an apparently innocent question or comment at a bus stop or in a pub garden turns into an Odyssean epic about absolutely fuck all. Often you can tell, despite having never heard the story before, that this cunt has trotted it out to 150 people already this week, embellishing it a little more each time because his life is a fucking royal train wreck.Unless someone dies in a painful or hilarious fashion, severely shits themselves, or makes 10 million quid, I'm not fucking interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 Unusual weather for this time of year, don't you think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 (edited) Unusual weather for this time of year, don't you think.The other day I walked outside and it was raining actually. And then, while I was getting my umbrella out, I bumped into my neighbour Bob. I don't think you know Bob, do you? Oh well, he is the young chap with the rather loud motorbike who lives at number 39. I think he's one of those fudge packers - he's always talking dirty to his mate Judge on the phone in his back garden. Edited September 2, 2015 by bill_stickers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 Unless someone dies in a painful or hilarious fashion, severely shits themselves, or makes 10 million quid, I'm not fucking interested.I too am a man who enjoys a good, old fashioned tale of a fecal escapade. It was your open candour whilst discussing shitting yourself, that first endeared you to me. You just don't encounter that kind of brutal honesty in modern Britain anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 You just don't encounter that kind of brutal honesty in modern Britain anymore.No doubt it's the immigrants fault. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 No doubt it's the immigrants fault.You're spot on, Bill. How can we trust anyone with a dusky hue? Dark skin blatantly evolved for the purpose of indulging in undetected night-time criminal activity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 You're spot on, Bill. How can we trust anyone with a dusky hue? Dark skin blatantly evolved for the purpose of indulging in undetected night-time criminal activity. Uncalled for...some of my best friends are Negroids. no offence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 Fucking hell, Bill, you really have the most appalling luck when it comes to encountering tedious cunts with no social skills and a total lack of any redeeming features. Do you work in I.T.?On a perhaps-unrelated note, where did that cunt Richie get to? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 Uncalled for...some of my best friends are Negroids.Until your dad sold them in Rhodesia no doubt. Fucking hell, Bill, you really have the most appalling luck when it comes to encountering tedious cunts with no social skills and a total lack of any redeeming features. Do you work in I.T.?On a perhaps-unrelated note, where did that cunt Richie get to?IT? No, but not far off. Fuck knows, he's probably been "edging" in a dark room for the last few days (look it up if you want to find out about yet another horrific sub-set of internet perverts with too much time on their hands). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 I can only assume you have shit yourself............again.Are you still maintaining this pretentious facade that you have never ended up with sheperds pie in your khakis? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 Until your dad sold them in Rhodesia no doubt. That's fucking Zimbabwe you jumping to conclusions Twat......Mum said he was a travelling salesman anyway.Are you sure you have not been recruited by Judge to be the new Equalities and Minorities Representative on this site while he is on his current sex tour of Africa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 The worse is when you ask somebodyabout what happened at a very important event and it takes fucking ages for them to get to the point. Worse because I don't get to hear the end because I've either fucked off or they've fucked off with the hump because I've told them to get to the bastard point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ahriman Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 The other day I walked outside and it was raining actually. And then, while I was getting my umbrella out, I bumped into my neighbour Bob. I don't think you know Bob, do you? Oh well, he is the young chap with the rather loud motorbike who lives at number 39. I think he's one of those fudge packers - he's always talking dirty to his mate Judge on the phone in his back garden.Is this his ringtone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 My mum, rest her soul, had a colleague back in the day that would drive anyone mad. He'd begin a story, tangent off to another one that was supposed to tie back to the first... You know how this tune goes. At the end of his visits you've lost at least 6 hours of your life you'll never get back and there are a dozen unfinished stories that a barrel of ale couldn't make you forget. Chattering fucking cunts, please fucking die!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted September 3, 2015 Report Share Posted September 3, 2015 (edited) This is my mum to a tee.Subjunctive clause following subjunctive clause in a paternoster of a story that in the end becomes just a background noise to my teeth-clenching frustration.I don't wish her dead - I realise that may mean I miss out on my fifth Cunts Corner sociopaths Mcdonalds gold star - but it may help explain some of my contributions to this little bit of the Internet Edited September 3, 2015 by Jiggerycock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 3, 2015 Report Share Posted September 3, 2015 This is my mum to a tee.Subjunctive clause following subjunctive clause in a paternoster of a story that in the end becomes just a background noise to my teeth-clenching frustration.I don't wish her dead - I realise that may mean I miss out on my fifth Cunts Corner sociopaths Mcdonalds gold star - but it may help explain some of my contributions to this little bit of the InternetSounds familiar. Don't get me wrong, I love my old mum, but they didn't just put "matricide" in the OED to fill up some more space. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted September 3, 2015 Report Share Posted September 3, 2015 Tangents aren't so bad, its them sines and cosines you have to get your head round, and as for algebra and Pir2 .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 3, 2015 Report Share Posted September 3, 2015 Tangents aren't so bad, its them sines and cosines you have to get your head round, and as for algebra and Pir2 ....Mmmmm, pie... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted September 3, 2015 Report Share Posted September 3, 2015 Mmmmm, pie...Mmmmm chocolate .... Why is there no such thing as a chocolate pie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted September 3, 2015 Report Share Posted September 3, 2015 Mmmmm chocolate .... Why is there no such thing as a chocolate pie?Because Pythagoras was a cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted September 3, 2015 Report Share Posted September 3, 2015 It's when these cunts start using phrases like "he turned around and said" or "so I turned around and said" that my desire to kill in cold blood really kicks in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 3, 2015 Report Share Posted September 3, 2015 Mmmmm chocolate .... Why is there no such thing as a chocolate pie?I'm afraid there is, but unfortunately there's no cocoa involved. I wouldn't recommend it, but if you're interested, PM The Judge for the recipe. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted September 5, 2015 Report Share Posted September 5, 2015 ...unless someone dies in a painful or hilarious fashion, severely shits themselves, or makes 10 million quid, but not necessarily in that order Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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