Decimus Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 All I want to do on Sunday is sit in my own filth, drink copious amounts of red wine, and bask in the glory that is sedentary domesticity. What I don't want, is my missus bellowing from the kitchen "put some trousers on, Mum and Dad are popping round for a cuppa." For a start, I hate wearing trousers on a Sunday. My John Thomas spends the entire fucking week cooped up, and I like to give it a day off swinging free in mega loose boxers. Secondly, "popping in" with these two parasites means they'll invite themselves to tea and not fuck off until 10pm. I wouldn't mind so much if I could fuck off into our room, read a book and leave them to it, the couple of cunts aren't my parents after all. But apparently that's "rude" and I have to mingle, specifically with the Father-in Law. Apparently, because he's got a cock and balls and likes football, it is automatically assumed we'll get on like a house on fire. Well, I'd rather set my fucking house on fire and kill myself then have to spend another afternoon with the boring old cunt, trying to decipher his grunts and pretending to give a shit about what he's welded at work this week. Cunts. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 Do what I did Dec: Get a divorce. I don't have to put up with that sort of shit now. I can wear whatever I want as well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 All I want to do on Sunday is sit in my own filth, drink copious amounts of red wine, and bask in the glory that is sedentary domesticity. What I don't want, is my missus bellowing from the kitchen "put some trousers on, Mum and Dad are popping round for a cuppa." For a start, I hate wearing trousers on a Sunday. My John Thomas spends the entire fucking week cooped up, and I like to give it a day off swinging free in mega loose boxers. Secondly, "popping in" with these two parasites means they'll invite themselves to tea and not fuck off until 10pm. I wouldn't mind so much if I could fuck off into our room, read a book and leave them to it, the couple of cunts aren't my parents after all. But apparently that's "rude" and I have to mingle, specifically with the Father-in Law. Apparently, because he's got a cock and balls and likes football, it is automatically assumed we'll get on like a house on fire. Well, I'd rather set my fucking house on fire and kill myself then have to spend another afternoon with the boring old cunt, trying to decipher his grunts and pretending to give a shit about what he's welded at work this week. Cunts.You really are one miserable cunt are you not Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 You really are one miserable cunt are you notIf you came here looking for sociable optimists, not only are you in the wrong place, but you're also a complete fucking retard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 All I want to do on Sunday is sit in my own filth, drink copious amounts of red wine, and bask in the glory that is sedentary domesticity. What I don't want, is my missus bellowing from the kitchen "put some trousers on, Mum and Dad are popping round for a cuppa." For a start, I hate wearing trousers on a Sunday. My John Thomas spends the entire fucking week cooped up, and I like to give it a day off swinging free in mega loose boxers. Secondly, "popping in" with these two parasites means they'll invite themselves to tea and not fuck off until 10pm. I wouldn't mind so much if I could fuck off into our room, read a book and leave them to it, the couple of cunts aren't my parents after all. But apparently that's "rude" and I have to mingle, specifically with the Father-in Law. Apparently, because he's got a cock and balls and likes football, it is automatically assumed we'll get on like a house on fire. Well, I'd rather set my fucking house on fire and kill myself then have to spend another afternoon with the boring old cunt, trying to decipher his grunts and pretending to give a shit about what he's welded at work this week. Cunts.You fucking think that's bad....I had the dubious honour to be invited to my mother in laws today....just got back after a fucking long alcohol free day. Tried to get the missus to go on her own but no joy there.....Why do they do it....I mean I don't enjoy it, they don't enjoy it so why do we go thru this charade of happy family's. Going to chill some Cider now, do some light swearing at songs of praise and then start worrying about work from 8ish. Another weekend over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 6, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 You really are one miserable cunt are you notIf you had my in-laws, you'd be suicidal, which is no bad thing, it'd stop me wasting anymore of my time reading your utter bollocks. I guess you're always chipper when yours visit, though aren't you? Bonobo apes are renowned for their entertainment value after all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 All I want to do on Sunday is sit in my own filth, drink copious amounts of red wine, and bask in the glory that is sedentary domesticity. What I don't want, is my missus bellowing from the kitchen "put some trousers on, Mum and Dad are popping round for a cuppa." For a start, I hate wearing trousers on a Sunday. My John Thomas spends the entire fucking week cooped up, and I like to give it a day off swinging free in mega loose boxers. Secondly, "popping in" with these two parasites means they'll invite themselves to tea and not fuck off until 10pm. I wouldn't mind so much if I could fuck off into our room, read a book and leave them to it, the couple of cunts aren't my parents after all. But apparently that's "rude" and I have to mingle, specifically with the Father-in Law. Apparently, because he's got a cock and balls and likes football, it is automatically assumed we'll get on like a house on fire. Well, I'd rather set my fucking house on fire and kill myself then have to spend another afternoon with the boring old cunt, trying to decipher his grunts and pretending to give a shit about what he's welded at work this week. Cunts.This to me is the exact point of the corner, a place to release the bile which everyday life hurls at us and get it off our chests. Fair play, deccs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 If you had my in-laws, you'd be suicidal, which is no bad thing, it'd stop me wasting anymore of my time reading your utter bollocks. I guess you're always chipper when yours visit, though aren't you? Bonobo apes are renowned for their entertainment value after all.A convicted prisoner is allowed at least two 1-hour visits every 4 weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 A convicted prisoner is allowed at least two 1-hour visits every 4 weeks. You know this how, bill? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 If you had my in-laws, you'd be suicidal, which is no bad thing, it'd stop me wasting anymore of my time reading your utter bollocks. I guess you're always chipper when yours visit, though aren't you? Bonobo apes are renowned for their entertainment value after all.Yes I am chipper when it comes to the In Laws , they both died 14 years ago. Beat that cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 Yes I am chipper when it comes to the In Laws , they both died 14 years ago. Beat that cuntYou beat the cunt to death? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 Yes I am chipper when it comes to the In Laws , they both died 14 years ago. Beat that cuntDecs is probably thinking 'You lucky bastard'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 Yes I am chipper when it comes to the In Laws , they both died 14 years ago. Beat that cuntprobably a joint suicide pact when you married their daughter 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 Wait, scrotes is actually married? To a woman? There may be a glimmer of hope for poor Keith, after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 In laws is not something I am ever going to have to worry about but today made me realise anything is possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 In laws is not something I am ever going to have to worry about but today made me realise anything is possible.What, even shoving a turd back up your arse with a spatula? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 In laws is not something I am ever going to have to worry about but today made me realise anything is possible.You haven't bagged yourself one of those Syrian internet brides have you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 You haven't bagged yourself one of those Syrian internet brides have you?You haven't bagged yourself one of those Syrian internet brides have you?Certainly not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 What, even shoving a turd back up your arse with a spatula?Officially the most random thing I have read all week. That's gold, that is... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 Certainly not.But not for a lack of trying, right Scruffo?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 But not for a lack of trying, right Scruffo?? The jinx strikes again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 The jinx strikes again......life....... don't talk to me about life..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 .....life....... don't talk to me about life..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 I was thinking more about this little snippet, dingers. Good work on the new avatar btw, I keep meaning to get one of those costumes and visit the local care home. "Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it, oh God, I'm so depressed. Here's another one of those self-satisfied doors. Life! Don't talk to me about life." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ahriman Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 I see you and baws have started dressing up in black and hanging around cemeteries. I suppose next you'll both be wearing trench coats and half heartily cutting yourselfs while listening to 'My Chemical Romance'. poofs... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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