Bullshitting cunts

[Decimus]

The return of our resident fantasist Frankape has got me reminiscing about some of the tall tales that have been relayed to me over the years with genuine straight faces. There was a boy I used to go to college with who was the king of this particular medium of cuntishness. These are some genuine stories he used to regale me with. Looking back, like Frank he was no doubt severely autistic, but also like him, it doesn't make him any less of a cunt.

1:He once blew up a lecturers car using nothing but a firework and a drainpipe. And that was why said lecturer missed a Friday afternoon History lesson in April 2003.

2: He wasn't going to university because he had been recruited to the SAS to become their personal fitness instructor. The fact that he failed all his exams was part of a plausible deniability cover up by the government.

3: He once caught a Great White Shark off of Cromer pier. His line broke so he had to jump into the sea and wrestle it into submission with his bare hands.

A cunt of the highest fucking order.

[Eddie]

An lying old cunt once told a tale of his extreme bravery during ww2. He was aboard a battle ship and as a punishment he was send over the side of the ship on a rope swing to paint the side of the ship. During this process he spotted a torpedo travelling towards the ship. He managed to swing himself on the rope just as the torpedo was about to strike the boat and kick it away. Cunt.

Ps he was also the first white man to walk across the Sahara desert unaided,  and was the first person to have penicillin. Cunt.

[Guest MikeD]

The return of our resident fantasist Frankape has got me reminiscing about some of the tall tales that have been relayed to me over the years with genuine straight faces. There was a boy I used to go to college with who was the king of this particular medium of cuntishness. These are some genuine stories he used to regale me with. Looking back, like Frank he was no doubt severely autistic, but also like him, it doesn't make him any less of a cunt.

1:He once blew up a lecturers car using nothing but a firework and a drainpipe. And that was why said lecturer missed a Friday afternoon History lesson in April 2003.

2: He wasn't going to university because he had been recruited to the SAS to become their personal fitness instructor. The fact that he failed all his exams was part of a plausible deniability cover up by the government.

3: He once caught a Great White Shark off of Cromer pier. His line broke so he had to jump into the sea and wrestle it into submission with his bare hands.

A cunt of the highest fucking order.

Fucking hell, that's padded cell material.

Are you bullshitting?

[Guest luke swarm]

I have to put up with a fair amount of codswallop when I have the misfortune to visit my hometown of Smethwick in the west mids.......this usually involves a drink at the old watering hole where some of my schoolmates still gather....these sad cunts just don't seem to move on and I have to endure bullshit stories of fantasy sexual exploits and wild drinking orgies where everyone drinks 12 pints of lager and a bottle of vodka each......for fucks sake grow up and stop talking like we are still adolescents with our hormones and acne out of control.

Why don't these cunts move on and have a word with themselves..pathetic twats.    

[Guest deebom]

I remember a mates dad (passed away now.) trying to impress my mum with a tale of how he was driving over Tower Bridge one day, when it started to raise. So he floored it and jumped right over the gap. I was about 10 and thinking "You bullshitting cunt." Fuck knows what my ma was thinking as she smiled on, nodding politely.

[Guest Snatch]

I used to work with a bullshitting cunt that kept going on about how hard he was. Everyone just ignored him anyway.

I saw him get offered out twice in the space of a couple of months due his mouth running away with itself.

Both times he backed down like a frighted kitten. We just laughed at him as he had confirmed what we knew all along.

Gobshite cunt.

[scotty]

I remember a mates dad (passed away now.) trying to impress my mum with a tale of how he was driving over Tower Bridge one day, when it started to raise. So he floored it and jumped right over the gap. I was about 10 and thinking "You bullshitting cunt." Fuck knows what my ma was thinking as she smiled on, nodding politely.

Passed away by drowning in the Thames, db? 

[Guest MikeD]

I'm always wary about confronting the really serious bull-shitters, I think they border on mental illness. If they think it's normal to come out with the really over the top shit they do then they probably wouldn't think twice about beating the shit out of you.

[southerncunt]

Everybody knows at least one Aldridge Prior.

Its just the level they attain that varies!

[cuntspotter]

I was Aldridge Prior once, for a day. Actually, I shagged his sister, or was it his mother?

[Cuntybaws]

I dived on to a grenade once to save my platoon and now I'm a ghost.

[Decimus]

I am Spartacus.

[Guest Manky]

There are loads of examples of humerous tall stories told for fun or as a wind up. It's the barefaced lies that grip my shitter. The ones I hate are the ten bob millionaires who flash the dosh and go on about their riches. A girl I worked with went on about how I wasted money  on beer and should be more frugal like her. She had £26,000 credit card debts.

[cuntspotter]

There are loads of examples of humerous tall stories told for fun or as a wind up. It's the barefaced lies that grip my shitter. The ones I hate are the ten bob millionaires who flash the dosh and go on about their riches. A girl I worked with went on about how I wasted money  on beer and should be more frugal like her. She had £26,000 credit card debts.

There are a few of these fuckers around.

[Frank]

The return of our resident fantasist Frankape has got me reminiscing about some of the tall tales that have been relayed to me over the years with genuine straight faces. There was a boy I used to go to college with who was the king of this particular medium of cuntishness. These are some genuine stories he used to regale me with. Looking back, like Frank he was no doubt severely autistic, but also like him, it doesn't make him any less of a cunt.

1:He once blew up a lecturers car using nothing but a firework and a drainpipe. And that was why said lecturer missed a Friday afternoon History lesson in April 2003.

2: He wasn't going to university because he had been recruited to the SAS to become their personal fitness instructor. The fact that he failed all his exams was part of a plausible deniability cover up by the government.

3: He once caught a Great White Shark off of Cromer pier. His line broke so he had to jump into the sea and wrestle it into submission with his bare hands.

A cunt of the highest fucking order.

It's 'minkey' you rambling fucking idiot.

https://youtu.be/Y9YViHbaAWM

[Guest MikeD]

There are loads of examples of humerous tall stories told for fun or as a wind up. It's the barefaced lies that grip my shitter. The ones I hate are the ten bob millionaires who flash the dosh and go on about their riches. A girl I worked with went on about how I wasted money  on beer and should be more frugal like her. She had £26,000 credit card debts.

These kind of cunts tend to stick together so can usually be avoided.

Now and again you get the odd stray looking for new victims to harass but a well placed "fuck off" usually does the job.

[Guest Manky]

 

These kind of cunts tend to stick together so can usually be avoided.

Now and again you get the odd stray looking for new victims to harass but a well placed "fuck off" usually does the job.

Wise words indeed. I must add that gem to my already extensive repertoire of "excuse me, do I look that fucking interested" style replies..

[cuntspotter]

There is a fucker around our way who dresses almost in a sort of uniform and has a blue light on the passenger seat of his car. This fucker is going to get his collar felt soon. A real oddy!

[Decimus]

It's 'minkey' you rambling fucking idiot.

https://youtu.be/Y9YViHbaAWM

And here he is. What are you upto today, Frank? Are you currently in the western hemisphere? I'm guessin not, my "absolute fucking twat" senses aren't tingling.

[Hokey Gingers]

It`s not the tall tales that annoy as much as the fact the teller thinks your stupid enough to believe it. I used to work with a bloke who loved his vodka. and every now and again he`d go on the lash and phone in sick because he and the wife had been unfortunate and "... eaten a dodgy curry." Plausible enough (although he must have eaten in every hygiene free shithole within a 10 mile radius)  when other workmates met his wife on the road travelling to her work it sort of blew his excuse out of the water. Nothing worse than a  spoofer.

Daniel Craig : stop pouting you cunt. 

 

[Guest MikeD]

There is a fucker around our way who dresses almost in a sort of uniform and has a blue light on the passenger seat of his car. This fucker is going to get his collar felt soon. A real oddy!

Or he'll be on here soon.

Or is he here already? Hmmm.

[cuntspotter]

Or he'll be on here soon.

Or is he here already? Hmmm.

The cunt worked in Asda for a while..... It sounded like emergency ward 10.

[Guest Manky]

Over the last 20 years I have only met a couple of work managers who did not embellish their past achievrments and capabilities. Most are fantasists with delusions of adequacy and a taste for other (senior) managers dick. Fucking cunts the lot of 'em

[Guest MikeD]

Over the last 20 years I have only met a couple of work managers who did not embellish their past achievrments and capabilities. Most are fantasists with delusions of adequacy and a taste for other (senior) managers dick. Fucking cunts the lot of 'em

Unfortunately they're usually the kind of cunts who get on.

Bastards!

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

The return of our resident fantasist Frankape has got me reminiscing about some of the tall tales that have been relayed to me over the years with genuine straight faces. There was a boy I used to go to college with who was the king of this particular medium of cuntishness. These are some genuine stories he used to regale me with. Looking back, like Frank he was no doubt severely autistic, but also like him, it doesn't make him any less of a cunt.

1:He once blew up a lecturers car using nothing but a firework and a drainpipe. And that was why said lecturer missed a Friday afternoon History lesson in April 2003.

2: He wasn't going to university because he had been recruited to the SAS to become their personal fitness instructor. The fact that he failed all his exams was part of a plausible deniability cover up by the government.

3: He once caught a Great White Shark off of Cromer pier. His line broke so he had to jump into the sea and wrestle it into submission with his bare hands.

A cunt of the highest fucking order.

If I may, the cunt is also, probably a master of one upsmanship?  No matter what life experience you might share in his presence, he always has a better tale to tell, am I correct in my guess?  Every conversation is turned into the I'm a total fucking cunt variety hour, and every unlucky bastard in the near vicinity is reduced to a head shaking soon to break mass murderer. The cunts should be introduced to the bark stripper.