Bubba C Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 Everyone knows the sheer disdain that BMW drivers are held in, but, (and this may just be me) something that pisses me off even more are fucking muppets who drive their shitty little Fiat 500's (other cuntmobiles are available) like they are trying to manoeuvre an articulated lorry. Even a slight turn in the road makes these utter fucking morons swing their cars out wildly into adjoining lanes and generally cause fucking carnage, which is completely disproportionate in relation to the size of their shit vehicles. I encounter these spatially retarded cunts on the road every fucking day, longing to witness one of them get fucking ploughed into a wall by another driver who finds them equally as deplorable as I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 Fiat Seicento and Vauxhall Corsa tipping are absolute requirements for the Class I (Basic) cycle Ninja qualification. Once you have mastered these, you can move on to bigger stuff. All motorists are cunts, not only baby car drivers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 46 minutes ago, Manky said: Fiat Seicento and Vauxhall Corsa tipping are absolute requirements for the Class I (Basic) cycle Ninja qualification. Once you have mastered these, you can move on to bigger stuff. All motorists are cunts, not only baby car drivers Ah, the fiat seicento. I hired one of those on a cheap holiday in capri, drove the fucker around some horribly dangerous roads for a week, and got home only to read a newspaper article listing the top ten cars you are most likely to get killed in. Top of the list.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 10 minutes ago, scotty said: Ah, the fiat seicento. I hired one of those on a cheap holiday in capri, drove the fucker around some horribly dangerous roads for a week, and got home only to read a newspaper article listing the top ten cars you are most likely to get killed in. Top of the list.... Try driving in fucking Sicily. M. E. N. T. A. L. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 10 minutes ago, scotty said: fiat seicento. listing the top ten cars you are most likely to get killed in. Top of the list.... That's surprising , I thought it was the BMW 5 Series when driving on the continent . I say this as 4 Iraqis were shot dead in one near Annecy 4 years ago Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted February 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 24 minutes ago, scotty said: Ah, the fiat seicento. I hired one of those on a cheap holiday in capri, drove the fucker around some horribly dangerous roads for a week, and got home only to read a newspaper article listing the top ten cars you are most likely to get killed in. Top of the list.... That's because cunts drive little cars, and deserve to be killed. I'm sure if you delved deeper into the reasons for them being top of the list of death traps, is because the cunts were being pulled out of them and leathered by a motorist they'd pissed off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 Let's not forget about the other side of the problem, the Range Rover, SUV, and caravan loving cocksuckers that kill field of vision faster than Dawn French at an oil wrestling gala in Neil's cellar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 The Suzuki Swift. It isn't. Don't get me started on the Smart car... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 3 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Try driving in fucking Sicily. M. E. N. T. A. L. Sicily is a good natured stroll in the park compared to a drive through the centre of Naples. My wifes family come from that area, I made the mistake once of hiring a car from the airport, I reckon that took a few years off my three score and ten. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 39 minutes ago, scotty said: I made the mistake once of hiring a car from the airport, I reckon that took a few years off my three score and ten. Do tell. Was it a Reliant Robin that didn't cut the mustard at V1. Or a Triumph Spitfire. Or a Boing Vectra Cabriolet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 Any cunt in a Nissan Micra, the worst drivers on the planet bar none.My sister in law has one and she's a cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted February 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 I see your Nissan Micra, and raise you the Ford Ka cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 When you're in a packed multi storey car park driving around for an eternity and all of a sudden you see a space. All of your joy and relief evaporates as you realise that its not a vacant spot because one of these fucking things is parked in it. How I've never laid into one of these things with a wheel jack I never know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted February 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 5 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: When you're in a packed multi storey car park driving around for an eternity and all of a sudden you see a space. All of your joy and relief evaporates as you realise that its not a vacant spot because one of these fucking things is parked in it. How I've never laid into one of these things with a wheel jack I never know That's a right shit of a cunt Gypps, you're well entitled to ram the fucking things out of the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 5 hours ago, scotty said: Sicily is a good natured stroll in the park compared to a drive through the centre of Naples. My wifes family come from that area, I made the mistake once of hiring a car from the airport, I reckon that took a few years off my three score and ten. That makes your kids a quarter eggplant. Had to drive from north point of Sicily to Cefalu and it was fucking terrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 5 hours ago, Manky said: Do tell. Was it a Reliant Robin that didn't cut the mustard at V1. Or a Triumph Spitfire. Or a Boing Vectra Cabriolet? It was a mid sized fiat, manky. But tbh, the car was irrelevant, whatever you're driving there the normal traffic rules just don't apply. I made the schoolboy error of stopping at a red traffic light, and nearly got killed for it. After an hour of trying to work my way through the traffic, I finally gave up and decided to pull over by a bar for a quick heart starter. Apparently I left a few centimetres in front of where I'd parked, which is presumably why the cunt behind me rammed the rear bumper and physically shoved the car forward until it was up against the car ahead. When I'd had my beer I had to reverse against his car and shove it back just to get out, fucking unbelievable. I thought the Madrid ring road was bad, but central Naples made that look like a fucking doddle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 Frankly anything less than a V8 is considered a fucking Homs car only suitable for crip sticker drivers and fit girls with pink dollies tied to their vanity mirrors. All other cunts which include old cunts in small cars, ugly girls in small cars, spotty youths in small cars and immigrants in illegal uninsured foreign small cars should not be on the road and should take the bus along with all the other good kosovos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 On 22/02/2016 at 9:51 AM, Bubbles said: Everyone knows the sheer disdain that BMW drivers are held in, but, (and this may just be me) something that pisses me off even more are fucking muppets who drive their shitty little Fiat 500's (other cuntmobiles are available) like they are trying to manoeuvre an articulated lorry. Even a slight turn in the road makes these utter fucking morons swing their cars out wildly into adjoining lanes and generally cause fucking carnage, which is completely disproportionate in relation to the size of their shit vehicles. I encounter these spatially retarded cunts on the road every fucking day, longing to witness one of them get fucking ploughed into a wall by another driver who finds them equally as deplorable as I do. You want to go to Bromley on a saturday afternoon. The place is full of these shitsticks driving about like Helen Keller! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 On 22 February 2016 at 11:52 AM, Quincy Cockfingers said: Try driving in fucking Sicily. M. E. N. T. A. L. I'm not sure what made you capitalise and space out the letters in 'mental'. Don't do that again, quince. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 On 22/02/2016 at 1:16 PM, Cuntybaws said: The Suzuki Swift. It isn't. Don't get me started on the Smart car... Ah the Smart Car.......this is a misnomer if ever there was one. After all.......It is neither smart nor is it a car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 1 hour ago, luke swarm said: Ah the Smart Car.......this is a misnomer if ever there was one. After all.......It is neither smart nor is it a car. Smart Car driver. Now there's an oxymoron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 MikeD travels to work as one of the extras at his local miniature model village in a Tyco Toys Bedford Rascal. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted April 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 21 minutes ago, Decimus said: MikeD travels to work as one of the extras at his local miniature model village in a Tyco Toys Bedford Rascal. Does he car share? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 Just now, Bubbles said: Does he car share? only with Decs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted April 30, 2016 Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 1 hour ago, Bubbles said: Does he car share? He's got Tom Thumb riding shot gun and the corpse of Ronnie Corbett in the back. Dead Ron is the funniest of the three. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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