Jiggerycock Posted December 15, 2017 Report Share Posted December 15, 2017 I fear change! The patent 'lower order England collapse and inevitable Aussie fightback', has restored my faith, this 'SNAFU Constant' being a comfort blanket to me in a forever-changing world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2017 Same old story, in a great position and then collapse, 100 runs short and now let the convicts back on top. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted December 16, 2017 Report Share Posted December 16, 2017 Fuck me, this is awful. Steve Smith has Root by the throat. I can’t watch any more. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted December 16, 2017 Report Share Posted December 16, 2017 Worse than I thought it would be on waking up. Think this will be the last hurrah for some England old-timers. You start off thinking 'Oooh! Stoneman, Vince, Malan, Overton / Ball....the Aussies must be licking their lips'. Turns out the newcomers have contributed something at some point. What have the established players done? Only Anderson's 'five-fer' at Adelaide comes to mind. Broad is too busy being a show pony. Cook has gone and whilst theres still some mileage in Moeen and Root and Bairstow of course, it's time for an overhaul for next summer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 16, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 16, 2017 5 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Fuck me, this is awful. Steve Smith has Root by the throat. I can’t watch any more. I turned it off after the first session...that was enough for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted December 17, 2017 Report Share Posted December 17, 2017 Six hundred and sixty two for nine declared. I mean, fuck off. If this is what happens when BT Sport cover an England team abroad, let’s hope David Davies gets a new job in their rights acquisition department once this European debacle is over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted December 17, 2017 Report Share Posted December 17, 2017 Rain! You didn't plan on Jupiter Pluvius being England's 12th Man did you, you Aussie cunts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 17, 2017 Report Share Posted December 17, 2017 10 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: Rain! You didn't plan on Jupiter Pluvius being England's 12th Man did you, you Aussie cunts! Let's not lose sight of the fact that Australia have cheated in this series, yesterday was a prime example when Root asked for a review and the ball that was bowled was given no ball when it clearly wasn't. The best thing England can do after this test is come home and tell them to fuck their urn as they have doctored the wickets and bribed the umpires. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 17, 2017 Report Share Posted December 17, 2017 12 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Six hundred and sixty two for nine declared. I mean, fuck off. If this is what happens when BT Sport cover an England team abroad, let’s hope David Davies gets a new job in their rights acquisition department once this European debacle is over. That wicket was doctored, seems strange that Anderson all of a sudden took four wickets this morning to get us back into bat and wrap the game up to them. They are cheating, biased, smug, convict bastards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 17, 2017 Report Share Posted December 17, 2017 On 16/12/2017 at 8:14 AM, Last Cunt Standing said: Fuck me, this is awful. Steve Smith has Root by the throat. I can’t watch any more. Not fair and square though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted December 17, 2017 Report Share Posted December 17, 2017 3 minutes ago, applescruff14 said: Let's not lose sight of the fact that Australia have cheated in this series, yesterday was a prime example when Root asked for a review and the ball that was bowled was given no ball when it clearly wasn't. The best thing England can do after this test is come home and tell them to fuck their urn as they have doctored the wickets and bribed the umpires. Of course they cheated. Everyone cheats when they play against England in whatever sport is played. They have to because England are so brilliant and top World class players. The fact that the English team have been cunted on this very thread for being fucking useless obviously doesn't come into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 17, 2017 Report Share Posted December 17, 2017 On 16/12/2017 at 1:55 PM, Fender777 said: I turned it off after the first session...that was enough for me. Its a shame Australia have cheated as it could have been a really good series. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 17, 2017 Report Share Posted December 17, 2017 On 16/12/2017 at 8:46 AM, Jiggerycock said: Worse than I thought it would be on waking up. Think this will be the last hurrah for some England old-timers. You start off thinking 'Oooh! Stoneman, Vince, Malan, Overton / Ball....the Aussies must be licking their lips'. Turns out the newcomers have contributed something at some point. What have the established players done? Only Anderson's 'five-fer' at Adelaide comes to mind. Broad is too busy being a show pony. Cook has gone and whilst theres still some mileage in Moeen and Root and Bairstow of course, it's time for an overhaul for next summer. England should come home after this test. Why waste Christmas out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted December 17, 2017 Report Share Posted December 17, 2017 58 minutes ago, applescruff14 said: England should come home after this test. Why waste Christmas out there. Because, Cricket and alleged cheating aside, barbecued lobster and a glass of chilled Hunter Valley white, (in t-shirt and shorts as it’s 30 in the shade) pisses all over dry Turkey in a scatchy jumper while your Nan farts her way through the Morecambe and Wise repeat. Even if the Convicts are 3-0 up, I’d give blood for a free flight to Melbourne and a ticket to the MCG, rather than trooping up to Yorkshire for yet another Christmas with the in-laws, who insist on showing me their eczematous navels and demanding I second-guess their doctors’ prescribing habits. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 18, 2017 Report Share Posted December 18, 2017 9 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Because, Cricket and alleged cheating aside, barbecued lobster and a glass of chilled Hunter Valley white, (in t-shirt and shorts as it’s 30 in the shade) pisses all over dry Turkey in a scatchy jumper while your Nan farts her way through the Morecambe and Wise repeat. Even if the Convicts are 3-0 up, I’d give blood for a free flight to Melbourne and a ticket to the MCG, rather than trooping up to Yorkshire for yet another Christmas with the in-laws, who insist on showing me their eczematous navels and demanding I second-guess their doctors’ prescribing habits. There shouldn't have been any play today, series has been a farce. 864 days we held The Ashes, Australia are going to have them for a hell of a lot longer as they will win the next series in England. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 18, 2017 Report Share Posted December 18, 2017 Root is totally pale and sluring his words, too big a job for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 18, 2017 Report Share Posted December 18, 2017 On 17/12/2017 at 9:52 AM, Jiggerycock said: Rain! You didn't plan on Jupiter Pluvius being England's 12th Man did you, you Aussie cunts! Anderson should have gone off injured when he got whacked, it would have spoilt their celebrations and they wouldn't have had the satisfaction of taking all the wickets. I would have gone off just to fuck it up for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted December 18, 2017 Report Share Posted December 18, 2017 1 hour ago, applescruff14 said: Anderson should have gone off injured when he got whacked, it would have spoilt their celebrations and they wouldn't have had the satisfaction of taking all the wickets. I would have gone off just to fuck it up for them. Nobody likes a sore loser, especially me. ( I'm French, and used to losing ). My advice to you is to stop whinging, fuck off, and drink bleach you boring cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 18, 2017 Report Share Posted December 18, 2017 3 hours ago, applescruff14 said: There shouldn't have been any play today, series has been a farce. 864 days we held The Ashes, Australia are going to have them for a hell of a lot longer as they will win the next series in England. They won't. They're shit abroad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted December 18, 2017 Report Share Posted December 18, 2017 11 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Nobody likes a sore loser, especially me. ( I'm French, and used to losing ). My advice to you is to stop whinging, fuck off, and drink bleach you boring cunt. Fuck off Pippet eater. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 18, 2017 Report Share Posted December 18, 2017 13 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Because, Cricket and alleged cheating aside, barbecued lobster and a glass of chilled Hunter Valley white, (in t-shirt and shorts as it’s 30 in the shade) pisses all over dry Turkey in a scatchy jumper while your Nan farts her way through the Morecambe and Wise repeat. Even if the Convicts are 3-0 up, I’d give blood for a free flight to Melbourne and a ticket to the MCG, rather than trooping up to Yorkshire for yet another Christmas with the in-laws, who insist on showing me their eczematous navels and demanding I second-guess their doctors’ prescribing habits. Christmas Eve night I'm gonna pop open a nice (expensive) merlot, box of quality street and lay on the sofa and watch Die Hard "Mr Tagaki will not be joining us for the rest of his life", and Pulp Fiction. The calm before the storm of Christmas day and family getting in my fucking nerves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 18, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2017 On 12/17/2017 at 8:53 PM, applescruff14 said: That wicket was doctored, seems strange that Anderson all of a sudden took four wickets this morning to get us back into bat and wrap the game up to them. They are cheating, biased, smug, convict bastards. They're not cheating, they're better than us, it's that simple. We don't have an explosive batsman at the top of the order like Warner, we don't have a run machine in the middle like Smith, we don't have express pace bowlers like they do and we don't have a spinner who takes his fair share of wickets. There is no cheating and it's not rocket science to work out why England are losing. England prepare wickets to suit our players in our own country so it's nothing new for any country to prepare wickets to suit their own players. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 18, 2017 Report Share Posted December 18, 2017 11 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Christmas Eve night I'm gonna pop open a nice (expensive) merlot, box of quality street and lay on the sofa and watch Die Hard "Mr Tagaki will not be joining us for the rest of his life", and Pulp Fiction. The calm before the storm of Christmas day and family getting in my fucking nerves. That's "Takagi," Gyps! Looks like one of your own sold you a knock off copy of the original you nicked! Ghosts of Christmas, indeed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 18, 2017 Report Share Posted December 18, 2017 4 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: That's "Takagi," Gyps! Looks like one of your own sold you a knock off copy of the original you nicked! Ghosts of Christmas, indeed! If you tell me you didn't go on IMDB to check that out, you're a fucking liar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 18, 2017 Report Share Posted December 18, 2017 3 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: If you tell me you didn't go on IMDB to check that out, you're a fucking liar. "Die Hard" is a classic! The fact you didn't know his name makes you a bigger tit than I! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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