England Cricket Cuntbreeds

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

29 minutes ago, and said:

That was when it was quality gear, Frank, before they banned CFC's, in order to 'save' the planet.

Shut up you cunt. 

[camberwell gypsy]

It's a beautiful morning down here in deepest Surrey. So I treat myself to a bacon and fried egg sarnie (breakfast of champions), cup of darjeeling and settled down in the garden to listen to TMS and the one sided and pointless match against Oireland only to find former ropey spin bowler, professional cheeky chappie and overall pain in the arse Phil Tufnell going through his usual annoying routine. "It can't get worse Cambers" me thinks. But Tuffnell fucks off to be replaced by two giggling little tartlets who apparently played cricket for England wimmins team. They prattle on telling whatevers left of the listening public that hasn't fucked off how they would deal with Jack Leach's bowling and mentioning something about nipples! At that point I switched over to Heart 70s and wishing the days of Henry Blofeld and his cakes were still with us. 

As Benaud would say "Morning viewers".

[Last Cunt Standing]

On 03/06/2023 at 19:12, camberwell gypsy said:

It's a beautiful morning down here in deepest Surrey. So I treat myself to a bacon and fried egg sarnie (breakfast of champions), cup of darjeeling and settled down in the garden to listen to TMS and the one sided and pointless match against Oireland only to find former ropey spin bowler, professional cheeky chappie and overall pain in the arse Phil Tufnell going through his usual annoying routine. "It can't get worse Cambers" me thinks. But Tuffnell fucks off to be replaced by two giggling little tartlets who apparently played cricket for England wimmins team. They prattle on telling whatevers left of the listening public that hasn't fucked off how they would deal with Jack Leach's bowling and mentioning something about nipples! At that point I switched over to Heart 70s and wishing the days of Henry Blofeld and his cakes were still with us. 

As Benaud would say "Morning viewers".

I was always slightly uncomfortable with the public school feel of TMS, Gyps. All that old school tie, tea with cake and breezy glossing over of anything non-establishment in the game made me fairly queasy. The guest summarisers from Truman to Bumble to Vaughan have always been the tame Northerner invited to Tea with the posh boys. Nevertheless it was the gentle soundtrack to my English Summer, always there burbling in the background. It saddens me a little to hear it’s gone the way of all sports comms these days, inviting on some shrill nonentity to balance the panel. There’s an option here this year to watch The Ashes with just the stump mic as soundtrack, and I’ll take Jonny Bairstow chirping repeatedly about Jack Leach every time over Alison Mitchell’s thoughts on whether white clothing is compatible with menstruating batswomen. 

[camberwell gypsy]

39 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I was always slightly uncomfortable with the public school feel of TMS, Gyps. All that old school tie, tea with cake and breezy glossing over of anything non-establishment in the game made me fairly queasy. The guest summarisers from Truman to Bumble to Vaughan have always been the tame Northerner invited to Tea with the posh boys. Nevertheless it was the gentle soundtrack to my English Summer, always there burbling in the background. It saddens me a little to hear it’s gone the way of all sports comms these days, inviting on some shrill nonentity to balance the panel. There’s an option here this year to watch The Ashes with just the stump mic as soundtrack, and I’ll take Jonny Bairstow chirping repeatedly about Jack Leach every time over Alison Mitchell’s thoughts on whether white clothing is compatible with menstruating batswomen. 

Fuck knows what the stump mic would have heard if it was around in Trueman and Close's day. 

[camberwell gypsy]

41 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I was always slightly uncomfortable with the public school feel of TMS, Gyps. All that old school tie, tea with cake and breezy glossing over of anything non-establishment in the game made me fairly queasy. The guest summarisers from Truman to Bumble to Vaughan have always been the tame Northerner invited to Tea with the posh boys. Nevertheless it was the gentle soundtrack to my English Summer, always there burbling in the background. It saddens me a little to hear it’s gone the way of all sports comms these days, inviting on some shrill nonentity to balance the panel. There’s an option here this year to watch The Ashes with just the stump mic as soundtrack, and I’ll take Jonny Bairstow chirping repeatedly about Jack Leach every time over Alison Mitchell’s thoughts on whether white clothing is compatible with menstruating batswomen. 

There's a great story about Bumble playing occasional cricket for a Lancashire league team. As he was going to bat, the opposition bowler started giving him abuse saying that he was a wanky batsman who was lucky to get an England cap. Bumble pointed his bat at him and said "well you obviously know who I am but I don't have a fucking clue who are. You're obviously some sort of mouthy cunt"! 

[Last Cunt Standing]

I’m no fan of Jack Leach particularly, but cracking his vertebrae weeks before the big push is a poor show. I read today that Moeen Ali, who has a dreadful record against Australia, is seriously being considered as a replacement. Is the cupboard really that bare? Say it ain’t so @Stubby Pecker  @camberwell gypsy.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I’m no fan of Jack Leach particularly, but cracking his vertebrae weeks before the big push is a poor show. I read today that Moeen Ali, who has a dreadful record against Australia, is seriously being considered as a replacement. Is the cupboard really that bare? Say it ain’t so @Stubby Pecker  @camberwell gypsy.

Rashid only plays white ball cricket because his shoulder is fucked. There's Surrey's offie Will Jacks or Rehan. Both have test wickets to their name. I'd go for Jacks as he can bat.

[Jiggerycock]

8 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Rashid only plays white ball cricket because his shoulder is fucked. There's Surrey's offie Will Jacks or Rehan. Both have test wickets to their name. I'd go for Jacks as he can bat.

....and he plays in the 'Up and at 'em' style favoured by McCullum and Stokes

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

....and he plays in the 'Up and at 'em' style favoured by McCullum and Stokes

That's why Surrey are literally unbeatable in the Championship. I'd like to see them against this aussie side. But it seems the old days of test teams touring here and playing county sides are a thing of the past.

I remember as a kid watching Surrey at the oval playing the touring teams.

Wasn't a kid but I remember Alan Butcher getting 140 against the Indians in 1986. 

[King Billy]

9 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I remember Alan Butcher getting 140 against the Indians in 1986. 

Treble 20, treble 18, and a double 13 if I remember right. 

[camberwell gypsy]

24 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Treble 20, treble 18, and a double 13 if I remember right. 

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin 8- watch those up and coming films on this top of the range Beetamax video machine 

And Bully's special prize- keep fit with these his and hers racing bikes.

Great smashing super

[King Billy]

48 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin 8- watch those up and coming films on this top of the range Beetamax video machine 

And Bully's special prize- keep fit with these his and hers racing bikes.

Great smashing super

Bus fare home.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

Bus fare home.

You get nothing from this game fer two in a bed 

[Last Cunt Standing]

On 06/06/2023 at 09:05, camberwell gypsy said:

Rashid only plays white ball cricket because his shoulder is fucked. There's Surrey's offie Will Jacks or Rehan. Both have test wickets to their name. I'd go for Jacks as he can bat.

Fucking Moeen Ali. That’s all I have to say. Boils my piss watching Aussie Sportscasters cry with laughter on my telly this evening. They puts his stats up against Australia. He’d be better deployed wearing a Helmand vest during the handshakes, to be honest. 

[Jiggerycock]

22 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

That's why Surrey are literally unbeatable in the Championship. I'd like to see them against this aussie side. But it seems the old days of test teams touring here and playing county sides are a thing of the past.

I remember as a kid watching Surrey at the oval playing the touring teams.

Wasn't a kid but I remember Alan Butcher getting 140 against the Indians in 1986. 

I go back to Geoff Arnold and Robin Jackman torturing fellow Surry-ite Intikhab Alam when he was playing against them for Pakistan, rheumy-eyed old cunt that I am

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said:

I go back to Geoff Arnold and Robin Jackman torturing fellow Surry-ite Intikhab Alam when he was playing against them for Pakistan, rheumy-eyed old cunt that I am

Geoff Arnold was my teacher when I took my NCA coaching badge

[Last Cunt Standing]

5 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Fucking Moeen Ali. That’s all I have to say. Boils my piss watching Aussie Sportscasters cry with laughter on my telly this evening. They puts his stats up against Australia. He’d be better deployed wearing a Helmand vest during the handshakes, to be honest. 

And now as I watch the World Test Final (handier Ashes warm up than Ireland, you might think), Nasser Hussain has chirped up with some hot air about Moeen being second only to Swann in terms of wicket haul, and thinks his home crowd at Edgbaston will make him grow ten feet tall. I call bullshit. My Wisden tells me all I need to know. Smith, Head, and Marnus will knock him all the way to Bourneville. 

Bring me the head of Rob Key. 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Geoff Arnold was my teacher when I took my NCA coaching badge

Are you a coach CG? I can imagine your pre match motivation talk to the Peckham kids...

'come on, ya black cunts, you'd be aaaht robbing if I didn't bother teaching yous all'

Fucking hell. 

[Meet Uncle Monty]

Whilst you clueless lot lament the (undoubted) modern-day cuntbreeds in cricket, I bow only to Sir Geoffrey Boycott - the gospel of analysis. 

It's the best plan of attack, is that.

[and]

I had considered posting 'cricket's for irons', I then realised, I can't think of any cricket cuntbreeds who've confessed to 'batting for the other side' 🏳️‍🌈

Does anybody know if there are any?

Just curious (but not bi-curious)

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Are you a coach CG? I can imagine your pre match motivation talk to the Peckham kids...

'come on, ya black cunts, you'd be aaaht robbing if I didn't bother teaching yous all'

Fucking hell. 

I passed back in '87. The only time I've used it was to coach the two wicketkeepers for an anglo/west Indian team in Peckham. Desmond Haynes opened their new pavilion.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Meet Uncle Monty said:

Whilst you clueless lot lament the (undoubted) modern-day cuntbreeds in cricket, I bow only to Sir Geoffrey Boycott - the gospel of analysis. 

It's the best plan of attack, is that.

"Corridor of uncertainty".

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

And now as I watch the World Test Final (handier Ashes warm up than Ireland, you might think), Nasser Hussain has chirped up with some hot air about Moeen being second only to Swann in terms of wicket haul, and thinks his home crowd at Edgbaston will make him grow ten feet tall. I call bullshit. My Wisden tells me all I need to know. Smith, Head, and Marnus will knock him all the way to Bourneville. 

Bring me the head of Rob Key. 

Well Warner's used up his 'big score' for the summer. The cunt will be lucky to hit double figures against us. Wait till Broad fucks him up again. 

[Dyslexic cnut]

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I passed back in '87. The only time I've used it was to coach the two wicketkeepers for an anglo/west Indian team in Peckham. Desmond Haynes opened their new pavilion.

Wimmin’s cricket = rounders for bull-dykes. Fuck off.

[Ape™️]

On 25/05/2023 at 17:41, and said:

That was when it was quality gear, Frank, before they banned CFC's, in order to 'save' the planet.

Hopefully they’ll ban SFC’s too, and then we’ll be rid of you, Wank and Fanny Starving: the trio of turds.