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Security Guards


Bubba C

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59 minutes ago, Manky said:

Due to a 6 year spell of temporary, short term and agency jobs, (for very good reason,) I ended up as a mall ninja. Never once did I work in the catering trade except for QC in a bakery. That is you fucked off.

6 years probation just for being a fat thick fucking northerner seems a bit harsh,did you have to wear a tag for THAT long?

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24 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Fucking hell, Withers will be along shortly I suppose. I wonder what delights he'll be dangling before us this evening from his narrow lexicon?

"Lol", "Welsh cunt", "vivre"?

The possibilities are endless with such a wild card, unpredictable wordsmith in the equation.

Fuck off Withers, you washed up old cunt.

Did he send you several PM's a day, asking you to come back as it was boring without your posts? I did, I almost felt sorry for him. Then I realised how much I hate the dirty French queen. 

This nom is missing a ding tale about how he foiled a heist in his local Farm Foods before slamming the bird off the fag kiosk as his prize. 

@DingTheRioja, wake up, you cunt. 

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Guest I know that Cunt
2 hours ago, Bubba C said:

Security Guards are a fucking joke. If I ever felt the inclination to shoplift, I doubt any one of these badge-wearing mongs would have the brain power and necessary motor functions to get within 500 yards of me as I casually strolled down the high street with a 60" TV under my arm.

These cunts are no doubt the thick fatties who failed their Police-force entry exam, or the soppy, gangly cunts who were bullied in school, and now find retribution by patrolling their local supermarket, hoping to catch a smackhead pocketing a pack of Gillette razor blades, or a chav mother filling her babies' pushchair with Vodka. 

These dopey twats would struggle to secure a job as a PCSO, and probably have an unhealthy obsession with knives, air rifles; and own a hefty amount of camping gear and a book on survival techniques.

They are also the sort of stupid cunt who regale their mates with pathetic 'war' stories (stopping a small child nicking a Pepsi), whilst supping on pints of cider in their local Wetherspoons pub. 

Fuck off. 

Are you angry that your local security companies all turned your job applications down as you failed to reach their minimum intelligence requirements due to being so spasgasmically thick, or, is it because they have all collared you when you went on a shopping spree without your wallet?

 

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1 hour ago, Bubba C said:

I don't know why, but I expected it to be Withers or IKTC to be the first boring, obvious cunt to post something like this. Are you ill? 

I like to vary my style sometimes, just to keep people on their toes. At least none of the aforementioned cunts will sully your thread with their inanities now.

11 minutes ago, I know that Cunt said:

Are you angry that your local security companies all turned your job applications down as you failed to reach their minimum intelligence requirements due to being so spasgasmically thick, or, is it because they have all collared you when you went on a shopping spree without your wallet?

Oh no, tell a lie.

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1 hour ago, Gurt said:

Tactical Area Of Rape? 

 

Nearly. Good guess but not quite. If you saw the women in Oldham, you would know the reason why. Even the one in ten that eat bacon butties are fucking munters.

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Guest DingTheRioja
1 hour ago, Bubba C said:

Did he send you several PM's a day, asking you to come back as it was boring without your posts? I did, I almost felt sorry for him. Then I realised how much I hate the dirty French queen. 

This nom is missing a ding tale about how he foiled a heist in his local Farm Foods before slamming the bird off the fag kiosk as his prize. 

@DingTheRioja, wake up, you cunt. 

Don't shag smokers, too smelly., but you wouldn't notice it would you?

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1 hour ago, Neil said:

6 years probation just for being a fat thick fucking northerner seems a bit harsh,did you have to wear a tag for THAT long?

I got my tag from Elizabeth Duke. Their fault for leaving them in the window.

"A muffled shout, a yell of fear, the shattering of glass,.                                    The window of the jewellers broke to let the package pass,                            A scream came from the mothers as they ran towards the door,.                  Dragging children crying from the brick upon the floor"

The things a man has to do to get a Gucci tag.

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4 minutes ago, Manky said:

I got my tag from Elizabeth Duke. Their fault for leaving them in the window.

"A muffled shout, a yell of fear, the shattering of glass,.                                    The window of the jewellers broke to let the package pass,                            A scream came from the mothers as they ran towards the door,.                  Dragging children crying from the brick upon the floor"

The things a man has to do to get a Gucci tag.

Your admission that you were once a security guard is right up there in the annals of stupid fucking shit that members have revealed about themselves. Drew with his Bungalow, Ding with his caravan, Jazz with his life story, Frank with his faggot grasshopper legs, and now you with this shit.

You're never gonna live this down.

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20 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Your admission that you were once a security guard is right up there in the annals of stupid fucking shit that members have revealed about themselves. Drew with his Bungalow, Ding with his caravan, Jazz with his life story, Frank with his faggot grasshopper legs, and now you with this shit.

You're never gonna live this down.

Go fuck yourself. Should I be ashamed for not being an overpaid, under employed, bone fucking Rodney, gay boy government lackey?

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
4 hours ago, Decimus said:

With your sterling military record in the catering corps, I cant say I'm suprised at your employment history.

I heard that Dennis Nilsen worked in the catering corps. Maybe he worked alongside our dearest Manky. You know, an oddball loner with an unhealthy relationship with his mother, which would later manifest itself in the repeated befriending and murdering of young homosexual men, followed by disposing of them into aquatic infrastructure....

 

And Dennis Nilsen. 

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2 hours ago, Manky said:

Go fuck yourself. Should I be ashamed for not being an overpaid, under employed, bone fucking Rodney, gay boy government lackey?

Serious question manky, did you feel important when you were asked to assist the shop floor workers with filling the 'reduced to clear' baskets during your 'by choice' temp security jobs, or did you find it even more degrading that a spotty teenager on a zero hours contract had more power than you in the Cheetham Hill Aldi? 

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3 hours ago, Decimus said:

Your admission that you were once a security guard is right up there in the annals of stupid fucking shit that members have revealed about themselves. Drew with his Bungalow, Ding with his caravan, Jazz with his life story, Frank with his faggot grasshopper legs, and now you with this shit.

You're never gonna live this down.

It was always likely to draw out either the weak or spasticated, Decs. 

Never in my wildest dreams could I foresee such value in Steven Seagal chiming in with this diamond. 

2017 is going to be a great year!

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Retail security only have a level 2 SIA qualification, which pretty much allows them to work in shops and monitor CCTV. The level 1 or 'front line' badge allows you to be a door supervisor or work in hospitals which pays well for supplementary evening work. I used to earn 13 quid an hour for door work and 15 an hour for A&E night shifts. The retail boys can, unfortunately for them, be paid NMW depending on the company they work for.

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Guest Wizardsleeve

Most security guards are rather shite, and exceptionally thick and worthless.  But they do have one thing going in their favour, and that is the power of accusation.  All they have to do is merely accuse you of cuntery, and they jacks will have your arse gaped and the exam gloves probing your depths and the general public knowing they cunted you.  Best to mock them from a distance.  

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5 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Retail security only have a level 2 SIA qualification, which pretty much allows them to work in shops and monitor CCTV. The level 1 or 'front line' badge allows you to be a door supervisor or work in hospitals which pays well for supplementary evening work. I used to earn 13 quid an hour for door work and 15 an hour for A&E night shifts. The retail boys can, unfortunately for them, be paid NMW depending on the company they work for.

It's no surprise that an unbalanced psycho like you wangled your way into a situation where you had access to the most vulnerable members of society.

Just remember that they got Levi bell field in the end. I hope someone reads this and checks under your patio

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7 hours ago, Bubba C said:

Serious question manky, did you feel important when you were asked to assist the shop floor workers with filling the 'reduced to clear' baskets during your 'by choice' temp security jobs, or did you find it even more degrading that a spotty teenager on a zero hours contract had more power than you in the Cheetham Hill Aldi? 

There is a big difference between Mall security and Shop security. The Mall security guard provides  security cover in the Mall. The Shop security guard covers the shop. Simple.

Thick cunt.

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5 hours ago, Manky said:

There is a big difference between Mall security and Shop security. The Mall security guard provides  security cover in the Mall. The Shop security guard covers the shop. Simple.

Thick cunt.

You'll have to accept my apology, (with all the intended sincerity I've given it), for not knowing the subtle difference between one demeaning, shitty, low-grade job and another. 

Don't suppose it could have anything to do with me going to school and not being brought up in a grim, northern shanty town, could it? 

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Guest Lady Penelope
8 hours ago, Bubba C said:

Serious question manky, did you feel important when you were asked to assist the shop floor workers with filling the 'reduced to clear' baskets during your 'by choice' temp security jobs, or did you find it even more degrading that a spotty teenager on a zero hours contract had more power than you in the Cheetham Hill Aldi? 

I doubt whether Manky would have ventured to Cheetham Hill. Pakistani passport is needed.

 

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