Eric Cuntman Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 12 minutes ago, Roadkill said: So long as he doesn't bring the wife. They'd all start worshipping her as a goddess of fertility. They'd shove a tree branch up her arse and have a hog roast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 19 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said: So cunts everywhere are listening to that terrible 'Born Slippy' tune, because they've made another Trainspotting film. Cue lots of cunts making ironic lists of "Choose x, choose y, choose to do z" shite like the poster from the original film, the unoriginal, boring cretins. Being a native of Edinburgh I'm very pissed off about all of this. For one thing I've been down to Leith a few times and, unsurprisingly, the junkies down there are not the temporarily inconvenienced philosophers the film portrays. Cunts want to pretend Trainspotting shows a gritty side of Edinburgh, but when you point out that the city is nothing like the film the same cunts get all defensive and claim that it is "art" and not an accurate portrayal. The joke is on them anyway, as most of the original film was shot in Glasgow because they couldn't find places shit enough in Edinburgh to look the part.The book is okay, but Irvine Welsh wrote bits of it purely for the shock value. In this day and age I can go watch ISIS execution videos and drone strike footage of Iraqi weddings getting bombed "by mistake", so a bunch of skagheads contemplating the human condition and occasionally beating some cunt up doesn't really have the same edge any more. Anyway, fill your boots with this '90s "classic". Dan, you're not Barry fucking Norman. If you want to review and reflect upon the artistry of British cinematography, may I suggest that you spare us all and do it somewhere without an internet connection, you boring fucking cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 Just had a thought, if we give the scots another shot at independance, maybe they'll keep this shit their side of the border? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 10 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Just had a thought, if we give the scots another shot at independance, maybe they'll keep this shit their side of the border? Hahaha! Discrete Scots! You fucking comedy genius, Ding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said: Maybe Lenny Henry's going out there next year with some. Lucky for them they don't have electricity. No electricity but they do have guns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 3 minutes ago, Snatch said: No electricity but they do have guns. Unfortunately their guns are always empty because the stupid cunts are always hanging out the back of old toyotas, firing them into the air like chimps showing off with a prized stick, our only hope is that Lenny is mistaken for a silverback and his hands and feet end up being made into ashtrays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 1 hour ago, Snatch said: No electricity but they do have guns. Obviously they have no ammo as they didn't shoot the fucker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 8 hours ago, DingTheRioja said: Choose another film. 6 hours ago, DingTheRioja said: Choose another actor. 3 hours ago, DingTheRioja said: I wouldn't mind but his sister is ugly, the "actress" is better looking but thats not saying much... no wonder the poor ate a lot of oysters back then, need the aphrodisiac to get them going and the smell to mask the odour of the fugly rotting women that seem to inhabit his area of london.... 2 hours ago, DingTheRioja said: Just had a thought, if we give the scots another shot at independance, maybe they'll keep this shit their side of the border? Shut your stupid little fucking mouth, you boring Yorkshire cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 2 hours ago, Roadkill said: I found their interpretation of the honourable East India company very insulting too, Ratty. I almost dropped my monocle I was so shocked. Tom Hardy is a fish faced cunt. I'm not bothering with it anymore Killer. I will however try blowing smoke up the chimney, then listen out for orgasmic screams from the surrounding houses. Might be the start of a cottage industry 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 20 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Fuck off. Hazelnut soya lattés or nothing at all. I'm lactose intolerant every other Wednesday. Does this include knob cheese? Because I've heard tell that in between shouting at imaginary sardines in George Square, you're constantly guzzling smeg from your local SNP representative's cock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 2 hours ago, Bubba C said: Shut your stupid little fucking mouth, you boring Yorkshire cunt. Please learn to post something of wit and intelligence, your little strop is going on for far too long this time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 2 hours ago, DingTheRioja said: Please learn to post something of wit and intelligence, your little strop is going on for far too long this time. Ding, you've been fucked hard tonight. Brutally hard. My verbal barbs have lodged between your pasty, shit encrusted cheeks, and opened up your disgusting prolapsed arsehole to my violent ministrations. I can hear you weep from here, 200 miles away, as my nouns destroy your thin anal skin, and my adjectives destroy your shit chute. Shut your dirty, rhubarb slobbering gob and incinerate the whippets in your sackcloth trews. This time I mean business, you stupid fucking northern monkey cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 5 hours ago, Decimus said: Does this include knob cheese? Because I've heard tell that in between shouting at imaginary sardines in George Square, you're constantly guzzling smeg from your local SNP representative's cock. Tiresome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 10 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Tiresome. Dan, if it wasn't for me shining my spotlight over your saga length nominations, no cunt on here would know who you were. There's a time and a place for monosyllabic posts, namely whenever you hit the"submit topic" button. Tonight you owe me a three pager, though. Get typing, you tedious fucking bore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 33 minutes ago, Decimus said: Dan, if it wasn't for me shining my spotlight over your saga length nominations, no cunt on here would know who you were. There's a time and a place for monosyllabic posts, namely whenever you hit the"submit topic" button. Tonight you owe me a three pager, though. Get typing, you tedious fucking bore. Time for you to retire and sober up, Decs - those Council forms in tomorrow's work in-tray won't fill in by themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 27 minutes ago, Decimus said: Dan, if it wasn't for me shining my spotlight over your saga length nominations, no cunt on here would know who you were. You narcissistic fuck! Do you emotionally abuse your loved ones to this degree, trusting that you actually have any of course... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Ding, you've been fucked hard tonight. Brutally hard. My verbal barbs have lodged between your pasty, shit encrusted cheeks, and opened up your disgusting prolapsed arsehole to my violent ministrations. I can hear you weep from here, 200 miles away, as my nouns destroy your thin anal skin, and my adjectives destroy your shit chute. Shut your dirty, rhubarb slobbering gob and incinerate the whippets in your sackcloth trews. This time I mean business, you stupid fucking northern monkey cunt. A career writing for Mills & Boon awaits you, you are wasted on here, literally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Ding, you've been fucked hard tonight. Brutally hard. My verbal barbs have lodged between your pasty, shit encrusted cheeks, and opened up your disgusting prolapsed arsehole to my violent ministrations. I can hear you weep from here, 200 miles away, as my nouns destroy your thin anal skin, and my adjectives destroy your shit chute. Shut your dirty, rhubarb slobbering gob and incinerate the whippets in your sackcloth trews. This time I mean business, you stupid fucking northern monkey cunt. Not sure just what you're reading on here, but it's not the same thing that the rest of us see. 3 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: A career writing for Mills & Boon awaits you, you are wasted on here, literally. No, it's the air around him that's wasted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 30, 2017 Report Share Posted January 30, 2017 11 hours ago, Decimus said: Dan, if it wasn't for me shining my spotlight over your saga length nominations, no cunt on here would know who you were. There's a time and a place for monosyllabic posts, namely whenever you hit the"submit topic" button. Tonight you owe me a three pager, though. Get typing, you tedious fucking bore. He should make them much more hilarious by splitting them up into multi-quotes, with a shit self-review below each section. Ding. I see you. Fuck off, everyone hates you. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 30, 2017 Report Share Posted January 30, 2017 12 hours ago, Decimus said: I can hear you weep from here, 200 miles away, I think you may need to check your geography Dec. as the crow flies (and Ding will fly like a crow). Yorkshire is considerably less than 200 miles from Norfolk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted January 30, 2017 Report Share Posted January 30, 2017 I think its probably Punkers favourite film.......eh?,sorry I thought it said 'Transpotting' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 30, 2017 Report Share Posted January 30, 2017 9 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: I think you may need to check your geography Dec. as the crow flies (and Ding will fly like a crow). Yorkshire is considerably less than 200 miles from Norfolk. I fucking hope not! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 30, 2017 Report Share Posted January 30, 2017 6 hours ago, Neil said: I think its probably Punkers favourite film.......eh?,sorry I thought it said 'Transpotting' Where is Punkers? Nobody's been called an AIDS infested heathen for days, it's just not the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted February 16, 2017 Report Share Posted February 16, 2017 On 28/01/2017 at 6:25 PM, Tata Steely Dan said: So cunts everywhere are listening to that terrible 'Born Slippy' tune, because they've made another Trainspotting film. Cue lots of cunts making ironic lists of "Choose x, choose y, choose to do z" shite like the poster from the original film, the unoriginal, boring cretins. Being a native of Edinburgh I'm very pissed off about all of this. For one thing I've been down to Leith a few times and, unsurprisingly, the junkies down there are not the temporarily inconvenienced philosophers the film portrays. Cunts want to pretend Trainspotting shows a gritty side of Edinburgh, but when you point out that the city is nothing like the film the same cunts get all defensive and claim that it is "art" and not an accurate portrayal. The joke is on them anyway, as most of the original film was shot in Glasgow because they couldn't find places shit enough in Edinburgh to look the part.The book is okay, but Irvine Welsh wrote bits of it purely for the shock value. In this day and age I can go watch ISIS execution videos and drone strike footage of Iraqi weddings getting bombed "by mistake", so a bunch of skagheads contemplating the human condition and occasionally beating some cunt up doesn't really have the same edge any more. Anyway, fill your boots with this '90s "classic". Choose death. Choose hanging purple faced in some shit stained shed. Choose flailing and screaming off Waverley bridge. Choose inhaling the contents of a deep fat fryer. Choose drowning, immolation, shooting oneself up the hoop, choose drinking a pint of superglue just before reading something hilarious by me. Suck my dick. Choose aids. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted February 17, 2017 Report Share Posted February 17, 2017 9 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Suck my dick. Choose aids. That's a strange way to come out, but well done, how brave of you to admit it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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